Comparing Myself to the Opposite Sex

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Jun 2, 2019.

  1. This is something that I catch myself doing quite frequently.

    Especially in school, I have a tendency to try to compare myself to women, and wish that I had the qualities and abilities that they do, even though I'm a guy. I feel like it's strange that I do that, but I'm just wondering whether it really is or not, or just why I do it in general.

    And of course, I end up feeling like I fall miserably short of what I should be like, or what I should be able to do, even though I'm obviously not ever going to be able to match up to them because I'm a guy!

    I'm thinking this may have something to do with my deep-rooted addiction to porn that started pretty early on in my life, before I had really figured things out sexually, and learned a whole lot about the opposite sex.

    Your thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. Is it that sissy bullshit you are talking about ? ._. Stop comparing to anyone that's dumb. Not to male nor to female. Because what does it change for you? Nothing.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. You are Leonardo fuck-mothering DaVinci. You don't need to compare yourself to anyone. Just be you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try to become a better version of yourself
     
  4. Your posts pretty much made my day. Thanks @DekuHope!
     
  5. Check out my profile then :D
     
  6. The Bink

    The Bink Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I read your post and thought of something I read the other day. I will not answer your initial question but it's a good insight I think.
    In the book '12 rules for life' by Jordan B. Peterson, (the man, the myth, the legend himself) Peterson mentions a potential life changing rule. It's the fourth rule in this book.

    "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, no to who someone else is today"
    You can google it if you want more information regarding this rule.

    I always have been a confident guy and didn't realy look up to a lot of people. But in the occasion someone was way more competent than I am, I would look up to them and was genuinely jealous. This rule gave me a different perspective. I hope it will give you a different perspective as well.
     
  7. Thanks!
     
  8. Comparing your self to other is dangerous and unproductive and you need to stop because it will only make you insecure.
    -Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and someone is always gonna seem better, smarter or more attractive or charismatic in some way
    -Everyone hides their weaknesses and many times you can't see the faults that make other people imperfectly human so you feel even more inferior
    -You're not a girl, you're a man and youre supposed to have differences in many aspects

    Use the time you spend comparing yourself to anyone doubleling down on your strenghts and identifying and improving your weaknesses.
     
  9. Thanks! I know that I need to stop comparing myself to others, and I know it's only going to drag me down, but that's a hard thing to do. I'm also seventeen, so I don't think that's helping any, this is probably the time when I'm more self-conscious than ever.

    It's not so much the fact that I'm comparing myself to others that I find odd, it's more the fact that I don't compare myself to other guys, and it's no wonder that I feel like I fall so short of, you know...being not a man, because I am a man. So, yeah, I understand comparing myself to others isn't good to begin with, but the fact that I do it that way definitely doesn't help matters at all.

    Thanks for the reply though! :D I guess I just need time to figure things out, after all I've been in kind of a PMO fog for so many years, it's hard to even know who I'll actually be in the end.
     
    Kiz Whalifa and Deleted Account like this.
  10. 17 is all the more reason not to compare yourself to others. You still have lots of physical and mental maturing to do. I was still really insecure at that age.

    Youre already learning to fight PMO and master your unproductive urges so you're about 20 years ahead of me. Keep improving and be sure to enjoy every moment of it.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. I have every intention of enjoying every moment of it, after all that's why I'm here, to learn to enjoy life a little more, and not be so caught up in my head.

    I know that I'm already ahead of the game with this, and I'm so glad that I found out what PMO was doing to me so early on so it didn't have the chance to do any more damage than it already has. I haven't had sex yet so I hope that when I eventually do, it will be more meaningful and not just a means to an end because I will be free of PMO.

    I know that I still have a lot of maturing to do, but that definitely doesn't make the process of growing up any easier.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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