I am 19y/o. Watches porn and masturbate for 4-5 times a week. I have never watched any hardcore porn I have been dating a girl for the past 6 months used to get hard while making out, once even got blue balls but since past month didn't get much hard while making out but was very happy and excited while doing so. One day while making out the same old thing not getting much hard but when we thought of upping the level by touching each other private parts it started getting hard. After that day the quarantine started and I started masturbating to porn daily but this thing was always in my mind that it is becoming too much, I have to stop it and take a break. Then one day I don't know what came in my mind I fapped thrice but to my surprise the second time it was softer than the first I was very scared, feeling like hell like what is happening to me, I googled about it "couldn't get hard to porn" and the pied stuff scared the hell out of, got very tensed like what have I done but still went for the third time(living in denial ) and this time I was not getting hard to porn. The next day I got my morning wood I felt relieved like okay everything is fine and thought of checking it by watching porn but pied was in my head and was constantly thinking of it like if it doesn't get hard then what and obviously it didn't get hard. I was shocked but then started researching and found out about nofap. NOW I am having morning woods not consistent but yes they are there Get 60-70% erection to imagining about sex with my girl after very long when i met my girl, after just hugging her i got a mild erection like 20-30% Have started dreaming too I relapsed to porn 2 days ago after a streak of 41 days(5 min)but this time was able to get my 100% erection which i don't know why but made me very happy like i am able to achieve my erection to something i once failed. I know i shouldn't get happy but i hope you can understand I thought after this i will go into flatline but i don't think i have. I don't know why but there is a thought in mind what if it doesn't get hard while making out and further.Like asking myself it will make me aroused na as this is all a game of getting aroused. I have decided to completely eliminate porn from life as that slight curiosity of will it get hard to porn is now gone too Can someone help me with this thought process thing as i know i am doing th right thing but my stupid brain is playing with me Still in quarantine though. I have been spending more time with my family these days due to quarantine and trying to minimise my tech use I am meditating for a month now Please tell at what stage of recovery i was before the relapse? Will i have to wait longer to get to that stage this time?