Compulsion.

Compulsion... is all I can say after 7 complete months of recovery will reach 8th in 11 days time. See I started my nofap journey almost an year and a half ago and I was kinda stumbling across with some good streaks here and there. My problem with nofap was that it shows me the reality of who I am and I didn't not like that so I gave myself some BS reasons to break my streaks, and then I turned 20 and I didn't at all like where I was, it was so humiliating and frustrating to see myself fail every time but this time I got serious for real without BSing myself.

The first 2 months were no different because I experienced it during my streak (quick disclaimer: for those of you who think that your journey ends on 90 day streak, you are in for a treat), the third month was difficult because I have not been here even once, so it was just the urges against my pure will, I've gotta say that after the third month I have developed my will to a great extent, but it was not east it was pure hell, all the while I told myself that it's OK tomorrow's gonna be better but trust me it was not, but I still told myself the same thing day after day hoping that things would change some day.

The fourth month I sort of started to incorporate certain things at a very slow pace. The first one was cleaning my diet, I sort of naturally wanted to skip breakfast and so my intermittent fasting journey started and again I didn't see any results but still kept moving. And the next thing I did was give up meat(This is just a personal choice and I am not here to argue about the science of nutrition but yeah I felt like it and I did it, but I still have a want to eat seafood and I won't restrict myself with seafood if at all I am near a water body with fresh seafood, update(2021):started eating meat again) and I saw a little shift in my depression, it didn't go away but it slightly improved and I still kept going.

The fifth month was no different, nothing changed significantly but I still kept going and also I added meditation at this point 'cause I felt like what more harm can it do. And yup no significant change but still kept moving, the sixth month was the same a little improvement.

The 7th month boy oOOOO boy this is where major changes started to happen, at the start of the month I felt like the energy in my body was stuck and I didn't know what to do but one fine evening for some reason I tried sun salutations(surya namaskara) and boy I was hooked it felt so good!!!, but that peak excitement went away in a few days but still I felt something was happening inside so I kept my every day practice and after a month and a half of yoga I am completely at peace with myself and I feel good man!! for real this this time(see even I was a serious skeptic of yoga until I tried and seriously committed to it myself, so I request you to please give it a try).

And my learning about PMO is that, if you are doing it compulsively you are not gonna be happy with your life. Period. And I am gonna stop by saying that ejaculation and orgasm are two different things once you learn to separate these two, you are probably on the way to master your inner self.

These are my takeaways:
1) Yoga and meditation(consciousness) (necessary to realize yourself and live life in harmony).
yeah that's it only one take away.

Thanks for reading, hope you found something useful.

 

Thank you.

 

See I did suffer from a lot of insomnia at the start but If you just keep going you will realize that it's just your mind trying to trick you and the only way to persevere is through pure will that's it nothing else. But the thing is after a certain time you will have developed a lot of will power and the want to improve yourself, and once you get here a lot of things are going to change. So at least at the start of the journey it's just you against your pure will.

I know this is all easy to say, but just take it one day at a time. So yeah this is what I experienced, but everyone's journey is different so just keep going.

 

thanks mate.