Hey everybody, I want to share my story for some advice and of course some encouragement and help. Forgive me if my english is not great but it's not my native language , please bear with me through this long story as a little of your time can help me a lot. My story involves porn addiction in the beginning so you could understand my behavior which i will explain later. I started watching porn when i was 9-10 years old , been hooked ever since and i am 25 years old now. Surprisingly i was kind of good with girls in school when it came to talking and they liked me but i was too shy to get intimate so it never amounted to anything. Making porn a great way for me to escape that awkwardness , thinking about it now i can understand how it made me develop even a stronger identity of a nice guy. As time went along i was "running away" from girls to porn and thus growing my fear/shyness of being intimiate with a girl resulting in little to almost no genuine sexual experience and no girlfriend to this day. I was masturbating daily , i mean every day for hours and hours and ejaculating 2-6 times a day. I was masturbating with my boxers on which i still do this day , it gives a lot more friction but it damages the skin of the penis , some days my penis was hurting so bad from cumming too much and masturbating that it felt like it was burning to touch it and the inside hurts but i still kept going. I was a virgin until the age of 18 , up until that age i had kissed 1 or 2 girls and never had any sexual experience or a girlfriend. And then me and a few of my friends decided to go to a prostitute , first time i went a got a blowjob with a condom on and the experience was awful but i still came. From there on i visited a lot of prostitues , i think about 20 female prostitues in total , all penetration of course were protected with a condom but oral wasn't. I was hooked , it was like a magic pill for me since i felt i can't get a girlfriend or get a girl to be with me. Meanwhile my porn addiction grew much stronger and led me to different genres , it had escalated to shemale porn addiction and later on to gay porn which i still watch to this day alongside straight porn. When porn wasn't enough on it's own and i was craving real human interaction of any sort i started roaming online sex chats , webcam sex where i was exposing my naked body and face to strangers (gay/straight/shemale) , gay/shemale hookup websites. At first it was just to feed my curiosity , then i started sending nude body pics and then face pics and chatting more and more which eventually led me to go to shemale prostitues and sometimes even regular shemales for free and even crossdressers and men. In total i think i hooked up with about 8 shemales and roughly 20 men countless times. Confusing me sexuality , not knowing who i really am in this blurr or porn and anonymus encounters. I had 2 girls i got intimate with who weren't hookers. I noticed that when it came to penetration with men/women/shemales i couldn't get hard to penetrate which made me doubt my sexuality and feel so embarrassed. Lately i've been meeting with a lot of men and getting them to suck my dick but even that is not regular , i masturbate so fast and rough that i have to fuck their throats. I tried nofap before and got once to a 3 months streak but it's been years and i can't do even a week since. My confidence is at an all time low , i love women and i know i do but with all these things it's just haunting me that i'm paralyzed when it comes to even hitting on a girl now and my friends are having sex and getting girlfriends and dont know why im always at home and not doing anything. I'm masturbating too much , my penis is sore a lot , i can't stop watching porn all day which i don't do anything i need to because of it. I've contacted 1 STD because of my gay encounters and now i'm at risk of HIV and taking Pep mediaction just in case which is the only thing that makes me not to get a grindr account and have someone suck me off again. It's just mayhem of porn , masturbation and anonymous encounters. I stopped working out , i don't cook food or do the dishes , sometimes i dont shower and im late for work just because of im horny. I don't know if im bisexual/gay/straight just because im willing to have sex with anyone just to cum. And i can't stop and im too embarrassed to share this with my friends or family. Thanks you all if you read this and god bless.