Compulsively attached to webcam models

Welcome. I have been working through this exact issue. It is difficult to walk away from cam models, but it can be done.

 

Amazing story. My hearts with you. Welcome to Nofap!

 

I know that feeling well that you're attached to a cam model. Back when I was PMOing everyday there were 4 girls who I was a regular too. But 1 in particular really knew how to work me well. It escalated from first joining group sessions to taking her too exclusive (which of course cost more). When we were in an exclusive session like she loved me (and I would tell her I loved her) and I was her favorite and someday she was going to move to the USA and live with me and we can have all sorts of crazy sex and love each other forever. The head on my shoulders knew it was all a work to get me to spend more money, which I gladly did at the time, but I like to say the head on my shoulders was not the one in control at the time.

It's kind of ironic that now as I think back to it, I thought I was enjoying the cam sessions, but the fact that this girl was able to get me to do some crazy stuff, like things I never thought about doing before, she kind of helped me reach my rock bottom point, and start to recover from my porn addiction.

When I reached rock bottom, I knew I had to quit porn and everything associated with it, and the cam sites were the top priority to quit. So I took the following steps:
1. The credit card I used on the cam sites was different from my main credit card, so I filtered my checkbook and found every payment made over 2 years and learned I spent $4-$5 grand per year. I took a post it note and wrote that number down and taped it to my computer as a reminder to think, "what could i have done with $9000 extra dollars in my bank account."
2. I changed the password on the site to some sort of random letters and number I would never remember.
3. I changed the e-mail on the account to a fake e-mail address I would never remember. I felt this step was necessary because I had tried to quit many times in the past and would do step #2 often but would always click the "forgot password" button and get back in. Now by changing the account if i clicked the "forgot password" button I would not receive the e-mail to reset the password.

I fully admit these are simple steps and can easily be navigated past, but I feel like not taking the steps to create another account is part of my recovery. Like any addiction the first week or so without the cam girls was tough. My mind would often think "do they notice I have not been around? It would be okay to go back in and say hi in the public chat but never go into any private shows." Or any other kind of rationale that would justify going back. But I knew if i did go back in I would slide right down into exclusive sessions again. Thankfully my resolve and desire to quit this time was the greatest it has ever been and I have not been back to a cam show since Sept 2, 2021. My mind thanks me for not going there and most importantly my bank account thanks me for saving that money. And honestly I don't really care if these girls are still doing cam shows or not.

 

Yes I was able to do it on my own. I won't put the details down because I don't want to trigger anyone but as I said before some of the stuff I did with the web cam girl really made me realize I had hit rock bottom. Any time I thought about going back, I would look at my journal, see those feelings of self hate and loathing and tell myself it's not worth going back to feeling that way.

 

Just remember it is a business for them. Think about all the things you want to do with YOUR money that they are interfering with. There are way healthier ways to fulfill the need for interaction, though I know having the attention and affection of a beautiful woman is tempting. Forums like this help, but it can be anything: a bowling league, church, volunteering. Anything where you can foster positive relationships, look at those models as vultures preying on you, it'll help you to conceptualize that you have something they want but in addition to your money look at everything else they are taking from you. Forget the past, today is the first day of your new future without guilt and shame. Find an alternative when you're triggered to visit those old sites, never sign on again, and move onto your new productive ways to spend your time and money. Good luck and check in if zi can be helpful!

 

Welcome to NoFap!

 

Feel free to read through my journal, Clearer Goals. Not sure that my path has been the best one, but I’ve been working on it for a few months. The emotional attachment is a real one and needs to be treated accordingly.

 

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/clearer-goals.323545/

Whoa! I may have done that right!

 

How've you been doing? Dabbled in any hobbies or found a new way to spend time?

 

@waynebruce
I know how you feel. I'm addicted to only fans. The thing is I don't particularly like the site or how the girls go about their business but still keep coming back for more. I haven't spent money on there for over 6 months so it's not the expense in terms of finance that's the issue for me but the precious time wasted that could have been spent elsewhere
The problem is that when they give you attention they make you feel incredible, but try to remember that's their job to and if they weren't any good at it they wouldn't have the standard of living they make out of it. Try to remember that for them it's all about "sex lies and rinsing guys" and that they couldn't care less if they leave you financially and spiritually bankrupt doing it.
One of the girls I know kept trying to get me to tip her saying she needs to pay the groceries yet on Instagram posted pictures of her and her friends travelling on a private jet. They really are incredibly duplicitous. You have my sympathy.