Confidence - when does it come back?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by stygian, May 15, 2017.

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  1. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    Someone posted about an increase in confidence on day 47, another on day 73, and someone else that it had not improved at day 50. What has been your experience, does it really take that long, on the order of months?

    I find it very difficult to approach people on the street, feelings of low self-worth, etc, but I hope that it will improve with nofap.
     
  2. DonDraper

    DonDraper Fapstronaut

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    There isn't a specific day confidence comes back. It's something that you build into yourself over time. Don't attribute nofap streaks with confidence. Instead, gain my self confidence knowing you are tackling an addiction and coming out stronger.
     
  3. You accept yourself, you like yourself, you love yourself? This what it's all about.
    Of course it helps to get rid of addiction. In my life the main issue was to discover the inner beauty. Deep inside your heart there is an ocean of love and joy waiting for you. Don't feel your heart? No problem. Feel the thirst. Something or someone will come and help you to open your heart. Just feel the thirst. A thirsty man smells the water. All is well. Sooner or later you will know you are a wonderful person and you always have been. Self-confidence will be your daily experience. You will like people and people will like you. Inner peace and true happiness feel great. Life is worth living.
     
  4. I Free I

    I Free I Guest

    Yes .
     
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  5. NoFap does improve confidence, but you have to have a solid foundation first. What sort of things are you good at? Your job? Physical fitness? Some sort of musical or artistic talent? I find winning at what you're good at - getting a promotion or raise, reaching your goal weight, performing in front of an audience, etc. - is the most effective and enjoyable way to build confidence.

    I don't know how many days of NoFap will give you more confidence. I find it difficult to know how much of my confidence is due to NoFap compared to my successful career or being in good shape. I would view NoFap as a supplement of sorts and a way to build a virtuous cycle or positive feedback loop.

    TL;DR: Do what you love, and you will be more confident. It will also make NoFap easier.
     
    Low likes this.
  6. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    Theres multiple reasons you could have low self esteem, knowing your here on nofap, i can tell some of your lack of confidence could be because of PMO. I have had that issue. Think of your ability to talk to people on the street as a muscle (social muscle). The less you use it the weaker itll become, imagine if all of a sudden you start to use it constantly, this is the part where you see yourself as having no "self-worth". Try to talk to people to the point where you get physically and mentally exhausted and then stop for the day, thats how youll work out your "social muscle" also you wont see progress overnight. I dont think you want to say it because Its not on your post , but let me take a wild guess, you cant muster up the courage to approach women because of this (guess). Also, yeah its true when on Nofap (hardmode-for me at least) I dont look at women as sex objects as I used to , Its a good feeling, but for me that was around day 70, its different with everybody. You wont become a playboy by not watching porn or masturbating, thats an "aquired taste". Anyway good luck to you bro.
     
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  7. stygian

    stygian Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all the advice everyone. @Clean Plate, yes, you are right.
    @Pure Energy, I am very confident at work and highly successful in my job. As well as other areas. But as ridiculous as it seems to me, I lack confidence in social settings. I am concerned that I am not attractive, but I am taking steps to improve it, ie working out on a regular basis. But I know I need to accept myself and not think that I need to change.
     
  8. LivinginRecovery

    LivinginRecovery Fapstronaut

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    I can only speak for my own experiences obviously but 14 days ago I was a depressive unhealthy looking shut-in who hated to make eye contact with anyone and couldn't hold a conversation for any length of time without hesitating, stammering and frankly talking sh#t. Today I maintained a good length of conversation. I made full eye contact and made the other person laugh a fair few times. I was positively brimming with confidence and self-assurance. I'm also getting out of the house every day. Now I can't say whether this will be maintained until tomorrow or the next day but it's something very positive and I'm glad to be on this NoFap journey.
     
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  9. BigandBeastly

    BigandBeastly Fapstronaut

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    For me it was around the two week mark, depends how naturally confident you are and the duration of your porn addiction. Stay strong
     
  10. Txqjacki

    Txqjacki Fapstronaut

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    I think it's different for everyone. Some it might come sooner, some later. I was on a trip to Malta with my college class recently, and I basically had no private time, meaning I didn't M or watch P for those 5 days. Just after 5 days, I felt more confident, and I talked well with a few girls that I normally would be awkward around. Just wait and see. At some point, confidence will come back.

    It's also important to have the right mindset. If confidence is the only thing you think about, chances are you'll only become less confident, cause you are "scared" in a sense, of not being confident. Best thing would be forgetting about it, and let it come naturally. Give yourself time to recover - don't be in a hurry :)

    Stay strong friend!
     
    NegligentRelic*95 and stygian like this.
  11. Fink93

    Fink93 Fapstronaut

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    theres one thing i learnt from over 60 days no PMO. confidence doesn´t just come back. you have to change your behaviour, look the addiction in the eye. replace your addiction with some other thing like sports, working out, etc.
     
  12. Txqjacki

    Txqjacki Fapstronaut

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    You don't have to replace your addiction with something else. It's about normalizing your dopamine receptors so that dopamine is released with normal activities, not only when watching porn or masturbating. Though self-improvement is a good thing, absolutely, but it's not a necessity to get rid of an addiction.
     
  13. FindingAName

    FindingAName Banned User

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    look i share this pain so badly, but for a very short moment i felt really confident to approach women, why? because i just had this mindframe like *i am confident as fuck* ik it sounds dumb but just try it, when you see a girl you think is attractive, just think *i can do this*. just trick your brain into bieng confident, it works for a minute
     

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