Confused and lost

A few weeks ago a went home with a girl from a club. I was very drunk and during the encounter I found out she was a transexual. We didn’t have sex but I got a blowjob. I felt uneasy and was in two minds the entire time. Immediately after I was horrified by what I’d done and just wanted to cry. I don’t watch transwoman porn and find it unpleasant but I do consider myself to be addicted to porn and have escalated my use over time. I can’t get this out of my head and feel upset that I didn’t just end the whole thing as soon as I realised. Can anyone offer any advice thanks. I’m sorry if I’ve posted this to the wrong place but I don’t feel comfortable speaking to anyone about this in real life and would really appreciate some advice