Confusion help me

[Emanel]

guys I don't know what to do anymore I'm fighting against fetish porn induced and HOCD I'm at 100 days but yesterday and today yesterday I dreamed of my fetish of which today I woke up semi excited by it I don't know what to ask so many questions circulating in my head. .. is it a relapse? it's normal? why doesn't it happen to me with regular porn? how long does it still take? What if I'm gay but I don't want to?

 

[Thaala]

I believe that you are in a compulsive thinking process, where you have no answers to your questions and wander different paths in search of a conclusion. Such a person is free because of his thinking, not because of confused thinking, this thought process leads nowhere. Know that you can never understand life, but if you become a piece of life, you will be able to experience there in every instance. Do not protect yourself from your thoughts like a wall, just use a filter and keep your awareness about it, do not identify yourself with thinking that is not part of you is the key to not becoming them.