Constant Failure

[HerBatman]

I have ben trying to give up Porn and its effects for 3 years now , It started in 10th grade when it felt so easy to give up Porn , I thought I had control over my mind and brain , but ig that was stupid of me because look at me now , Im literally 19 years old and addiction would be an understatement now , I feel like I could even recover from drug abuse but not this , Ive recorded myself multiple times crying and blabbering shit promising myself that I wont fall for this shithole again but here I am , writing this blog in an attempt to make myself feel less fucked for giving in and losing constantly , I have a beautiful girlfriend who would be broken if she found ut that I've been having trouble with this , I dont get excited with her anymore , my life is basically 70% lust now , I WAKE UP , I JACK OFF , I FEEL SHITTY ABOUT IT , I TRY TO GASLIGHT MYSELF INTO BELIVING THAT I WONT ANYMORE , I JACK OFF THE VERY NEXT DAY and the cycle repeats , I just wish that I could find one person in this world who would be proud of me if I were to show my true colours to them , even my own parents would be disgusted and I cant even change the fact , I can even fucking work on myself , I fucking fall all the times and Im just tired , I feel like I dont deserve what I have and I cant change myself. Even now the only reason why I haven't given up is my mother and my girlfriend , I cant fail them as a son and a boyfriend , so I guess ill try one last time? , Im gonna write down everything and everyday about my journey , I hope to redeem myself one last time and please I pray to god that this works , All the best for the ones out there and myself too

 

[babyyoda]

Hey brother I am sorry you are going through this. My guy, it sounds like you cannot do this on your own, and that's okay. I think you should see a sex/porn addiction therapist. I had an adult webcam addiction for several years. My sex therapist helped me quit and I only saw her 5 to 6 times (twice in person). Therapists are very open to talking about anything and are the most understanding people you will ever meet. My therapist even was a woman, and she didn't have a problem talking to me about my issues. I could tell her anything and it was great. Therapists can help you. They have advice and tools you can use to quit. Find someone you like, and if you don't like one find another until you do. To me this is the most helpful thing I ever did for myself. Brother, do this and it will help you with your life.