Constantly losing my hard right before sex, dont know whyyyy

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Stapes, Mar 20, 2019.

  1. Stapes

    Stapes New Fapstronaut

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    So I've been with girls and never had a problem because it wasnt more than a hook up. Finally starting hanging out with someone who is gorgeous and great for me. Every time we start getting together everything is fine and Im super into it......then the second i go to put it in her i lose it almost immediately. I can even go down on her and get it back, but again the second i got for sex is goes away. Ive never had this problem and i dont know why. Im on day 8 of NoFap hoping it would help but in worried im too in my head about it now. Has anyone else had this mental block? How do I move on from it before I lose her? Any advice is appreciated from anyone!!
     
    3nkay likes this.
  2. With problems like we have, we tend to overly focus on something's and they can end up being a block. Make sure you are in the moment intimately with her, focused on her as it is just there. Look in her eyes, engage her and see how things go in their own. It can be hard to not focus on performance but, performance will take care of itself in time as you heal.
     
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  3. I have the same problem. I can get hard, but I can't maintain it. Practice mindfulness and cut back on porn/masturbation. Try not to worry.
     
    3nkay and Freedick like this.
  4. Gmork

    Gmork Fapstronaut

    It's probably going to take much more than 8 days of NoFap.
    Kagel exercises helped me with the exact same problem.
    I was usually very horny, and hard as normal - but when it came to doing the deed, it would just disappear right after starting.

    On my last decent streak of 130 days our so, I was doing Kagel exercises a few times a day (as soon as I woke, and then every time I went to the bathroom) and they were working a treat.
    My stamina came back surprisingly well.
     
    3nkay likes this.
  5. Fallensoldier1

    Fallensoldier1 Fapstronaut

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    It sounds to me it isn’t PIED. Don’t get me wrong Kegels are great, and nofap will still help. But if your hard often until it comes time to put in inside her. That’s the same issue I’m
    Having lately.

    Performance anxiety. We are thinking into it way too much. I have never came and finished as fast as I am currently. So I’m discouraged by that and I over think it, then I also loose my erection. She can touch on it and I get hard, when it’s time to put itbin, I tend to overthink it and panic.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. Andrewshealthyself

    Andrewshealthyself Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, I have had the exact same issue. I think it’s a combination of performance anxiety and pied. For me there are a lot of other things that go into it. But as far as the pied goes, it’s because I can’t feel much down there. Abstaining from PMO will absolutely bring sensitivity back and it will start to feel great again and help you maintain an erection.

    It’s been so bad for me I have had to resort to going to a doctor to get a prescription of sildenafil and getting a C-ring to help maintain. Although I am on my 5th day of no PMO I already feel the effects. I was able to maintain this morning without any aid. Still have trouble orgasming with a partner but this is progress. I would say don’t deviate from your no PMO goal and things will fall into place
     
    GripStrength likes this.
  7. aerokus

    aerokus Fapstronaut

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    As has been said, sounds like performance anxiety + PIED.
    If you don't want to lose this girl, you need to keep up your streak without any slip-ups and possibly get sildenafil or some other medication for the meantime, as well as practice meditation and allow yourself to become more comfortable in bed with this girl.
     
    3nkay and GripStrength like this.
  8. RalphMcDonald

    RalphMcDonald Fapstronaut

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    Do you suffer from any stress or anxiety? Sometimes such psychological factors can be the cause of not getting erect. So it’s better to find the underlying cause of your problem.

    Why don't you try ED drug, Vardenafil after checking with the doctor? This drug will work to achieve and maintain an erection. I would suggest to take it after seeking medical advice as it is a prescription drug.
     
    Last edited: Jul 24, 2019

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