I'm driving myself ape shit bananas. I've recognized my porn addiction for several years and have been working on it, more or less over that whole time. I've had long streaks. Lately I've been stuck in a rut. I was starting to climb back out. I successfully completed the 7 day challenge, jumped into the 10 day and then one of my dogs had a sudden seizure and had to be put down. That, a bad date (she ghosted) and some stressful positive change at work and I over self medicated. To the good, I am 18 days now without P or O, no phone apps like, bumble or tinder. To the bad I did post on a dating site and got positively pummeled with opportunity (it isn't a phone app ... addict always finds a way to follow the rules while breaking them). I'm in flatline but I can't take my hands off myself. I've morphed the porn addiction into a compulsive masturbation issue. I am writing this in part because any advice would be helpful. I went a couple of days without giving a shit. Yesterday was awful and I finally drew a hard line this morning and starting fighting back to get myself grounded. Today I am starting the 14 day challenge hard mode. The compulsion to touch is worse in some ways than when I was thick with the porn. You only need your hand and your junk. And it is mindless. I'm disgusted. I couldn't stop until I declared I'm stopping. This is my declaration. I'm stopping.