Coping with social rejection

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by noonoon, Sep 17, 2017.

  1. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Best methods for coping with social rejection?

    I curl up in a ball and suck my thumb. What about you?
     
  2. sombrero23

    sombrero23 Fapstronaut

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    I listen to music that touches my heart. I think that the biggest issue with social rejection is getting not enough attention. I have so much to say, but people seem to be only interested in dull things. Had a best friend for a long time, but fallen out some time ago, he just changed and I wasn't the way he was.

    Perhaps it isn't about "coping with it" but not caring about it? I love aviation and overall flying, and when I'm in the air I get the impression how little we matter. My dream is to be a pilot. Why should I care whether I'm rejected or not? Maybe they just don't share the same mentality. I get depressed when I think how little I'm partying, spent last new year's day alone in home, it wasn't nice I admit, but what can I do about the fact that no one invites me to their party? I think that I just should learn how to love being with myself and how to have fun alone (no PMO of course hahah)
     
  3. JesusGreen

    JesusGreen Fapstronaut

    Try the 100 days of rejection challenge.

    Every day for 100 days you have to force yourself to face at least one rejection, by asking for something you're certain will get you a "No". It can be something as simple as walking into McDonalds and asking for a free burger. Or it can be going up to that really cute girl you feel is way out of your league, and asking for a date. Start off easy, and try to make it more challenging with each day.

    You might also find that to your pleasant surprise, some of those people you thought would say "No" to you, actually say "Yes", particularly if you don't just ask, but persist and try to persuade them.

    The only way to deal with the fear of rejection, is to face rejection regularly. It's no different from any other fear in this respect. ;)

    Once it becomes a habit, you'll quickly realise that rejection isn't something to be afraid of.
     
  4. have no expectations. dont treat life too seriously. dont rely on anyone ;) be happy with urself
     
  5. LonerWolf

    LonerWolf Fapstronaut

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    Become a loner.
     
  6. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    Cool idea!!
     
  7. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    But i enjoy being around people. I actually like people.
     
  8. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    For me it's quite similar and I want to be around people, but usually I be outcasted and I try to act friendly and best I can, but they don't really like me or say that I be ''weird'' while they can't say really why and most likely because I tell ''smart'' stuff, but really I don't know people interests or about what they would want to talk about as they say ''About anything!''.

    I think the best is to go for achievements and try your best to be a success in your life/career. as I every day get called a loser.
     
    noonoon likes this.
  9. You don't sound at all like a loser. Good luck on your achievements!
     
  10. Anubis Rises

    Anubis Rises Fapstronaut

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    i use to go home an fap id use my tears for lube but seeing im nofap now i just cry
     
    noonoon likes this.
  11. noonoon

    noonoon Fapstronaut

    sad but true
     
  12. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    I be very big loser, I never worked and I have extreme anxiety around people and I get bullied as I be quite silent and also I try to be kind and nice, but people just try to bully me and it has been like that since childhood and in the end I always end alone spending whole day at home, I even went outside for whole year every day around 2-3 hours and it really didn't change anything.

    edit: Also a lot of people pointed out that I'm weird, so it's also the thing.
     
  13. VitoMisto

    VitoMisto Fapstronaut

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    There is a way past that- in fact, I was like that when I was younger.

    The key to being interesting is to be interested. Listen more- and I mean really listen to what they have to say. Listening is not just shutting your mouth while you wait for your turn to talk. Even if you aren't really interested, listen anyway, and pick out the important parts.

    Then, ask people about it, or their other interests. Let's say the topic is video games- and you aren't a gamer. Listen to them talk about games, and ask them questions based on that- hmm, you prefer Halo or Call of Duty?

    Then, you could work yourself into it, even if you haven't played the games, and let the other person or people tell you about it. That makes them feel good, because now they're experts and you're a willing listener.

    "I'm not really into shooters like that, but maybe I just haven't found the right one. Which one would you recommend? Do I need to play them in order, or should I just pick the best one and start? Should I get a console, or save up and get a good PC? If I go the PC route, how should I configure it?"

    If that doesn't work, just keep practicing with different people and topics. It gets better and it gets easier.

    The smart stuff is good- you just need the appropriate context. If you started talking about the benefits of the Chevy Ecotec3 5.3L OHV V8 over Ford's 5.0L OHC V8 to people who didn't know about cars, you'd be met with weird glances. However, if someone was talking about a strange shuddering feeling whenever they started or stopped their Honda Civic, you could tell them how it could be a problem with the brakes or front differential, and some fixes- and who best to do it to get the best repair for the money. Then, your smarts would really be appreciated. If it's a regular group, then you might even become "the car guy"- friends would introduce their friends to talk to you about cars and car problems. The more interests you have, the more contexts you have to show your smarts.
     
  14. meatsandwich

    meatsandwich Fapstronaut

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    Hehe, I don't really know about cars and I'm more like philosopher, as I like to use philosophy and logic in a lot of things and that makes me seem ''smart'' while I would disagree in a way that I'm smart and I'm more as wise person, but I was bullied since kindergarten so It might in a way maybe I have ''autism'', as I had so-called same problems as them and if I would do something wrong, I would receive beating with belt at home and then at home nobody also cared about my emotional problems and they would just bully also at home and I had almost mental breakdown.

    I could say that I'm a good listener, but I don't seem interesting and I don't drink alcohol or smoke. I don't even enjoy parties and things like that and I'm never good in groups and I'm better at solo conversations. I can really talk almost about anything unless it's too specified field and if explained, I would understand as I am always open-minded.
     
  15. Well I'd say that you've come to the right place. A lot of us in here are struggling when it comes to social interaction. Consider yourself lucky because you're young and time is on your side. I too have a hard time socializing in larger groups. I prefer one on one interaction, and that's fine. Some of us prefer to be more low key. I recommend looking on line for meet up groups that share your interests. It might be intimidating at first, but once you strike up a conversation with a few likeminded people, you'll be on your way to finding your own little social circle. You say that people point out that you're weird. Well guess what...we are all weird. You just maybe socially awkward at the moment, but you can change that with a little time and practice. Any abuse that you suffered at home verbally or physically is something that you may need to seek counseling for because that could be holding you back, so you may need to sort through some of that stuff with someone who is qualified. Hang in there buddy, and let us know how things go.
     

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