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Coping with tempting thoughts

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Wooly horned ruminant mammal, Jul 14, 2020.

  1. Hi there!

    I feel like I'm slowly but surely getting better at quitting porn and avoiding masturbation. What gets me a lot though is tempting thoughts of porn. Everything from just general thoughts of porn to going over the same specific videos in my head over and over again. Or thinking of naughty things to search for. It doesn't matter if I relapsed just few days ago or if I'm on a month long streak, there are rarely days in which these thoughts are completely absent. In the best of days the thoughts are just fleeting and pass by without much effort, in the worst of days they lead me to masturbate, look up psubs or fully relapse. Even if I deal with them on the short run, it doesn't take long until these thoughts are back.

    Does anyone have any useful experience in getting rid of tempting thoughts?
     
    Di.Do.555 likes this.
  2. B787-8

    B787-8 Fapstronaut

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    When i have bad thoughts i take deep breathe 2-4 times and control my mind.
     
  3. pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    I too still have flashbacks of porn videos, images, and all of that in my mind from the past. Even when I am doing something they still creep on me. Those are called fantasies. At least I'm not going do prone masturbation over them. See physical is easier and mental is hard.
     
  4. PerseveranceToday

    PerseveranceToday Fapstronaut

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    You're a man aren't you? It's natural to have a sex drive. That's not something you can fight. Maybe you don't like what you're into thanks to porn, but you're always going to be thinking about sex to some extent.

    The best thing is to let thoughts pass through you. Remember that they are just thoughts, you don't have to act on them.
     
  5. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    3 years in nofap with many ups and downs but many good streaks (say i relapsed 8-10 times.) but now i have non existant porn flashbacks. I get some once a month or two but they usually last seconds and i dont give a sht about them.
     
  6. Yes, you guys have a good point of that I don't need to act on the fantasies. Just accepting the thoughts and let them pass by might be helpful. Sometimes I feel like I try to avoid thinking of porn so much it just makes me think about it more. You know the way you start thinking of dogs is someone tells you "don't think of dogs". Thanks fot the input guys!

    Is there a certain change that occurred or action you took or mindset you changed that made these flashbacks go away?
     
    PerseveranceToday likes this.
  7. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    it is normal.
    Don't fight them.
    The more you fight them the stronger they will become.
    Instead i suggest you fill your brain with gratitude and love.
    Slowly anything not related to gratitude and love will fade away on their own.
    I wish u good luck.
     
  8. UnitedWeStand

    UnitedWeStand Fapstronaut

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    I tried to resist fantasizing when thought coming, that how you train your brain not to think about it
     
  9. I am also almost a month in now and are experiencing the same things. For me it has helped to actually close my eyes and NOT trying to avoid the thoughts but kind of let them be there (without PMOing) I tell the feelings that it is okay for them to be there and normal and I don't try to fight the thoughts. And when I truly give them pro mission to be there, they actually go away. When they come back I do the same.

    Also, lately I have the mindset that I CHOOSE not to watch porn or MO. That is really helpful and empowering. Its not like "I don't have control" its "I choose not to" that was huge for me!
     
  10. Those thoughts didn't usually give me any worries. I just pass them on, when I was a bit casual about abstaining soft-core porn that is somewhat everywhere. I haven't masturbated or orgasmed over a month.
    But I have recently prioritized to no PMO therefore I reset the counter. And my thoughts were flashing back towards them for some reason. I guess they are just thoughts. I cannot control them but I can use them as a reminder that they are triggers to PMO so that I can avoid them as much as possible.
    Physical activities and Socializing with anyone can also help distract from those thoughts at least for a short period of time.
     
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2020
  11. Remember what it feels like after jerking off. If I guess correctly, it's never a good feeling, is it?
     
  12. vril

    vril Fapstronaut

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    Cutting off access has helped a great deal.

    Since I already know that I'm not going to look at porn, engaging in fantasy or remembering porn I've watched seems to me to be an act of futility.

    I do think there is a difference between having a thought and engaging a thought. It's like if I am hungry and the thought of a pizza comes to mind, but I put it off and think of something else, the state of being hungry isn't overwhelming. If the thought of pizza came to mind and I started to think about what toppings I want or gooey cheese or which place I'm going to order from, I am going to be a lot more hungry than before.

    Sex is a basic function of human physiology, so it isn't surprising that sexual thoughts would come up. I'm not trying to get rid of being sexual. I'm trying to regain the ability to choose how I respond. That's the real problem. With porn, I didn't feel I had a choice. I had to do what my body and sexual urges demanded.
     
  13. This struck me. I think I've actually been fearing these thoughts. Fearing them and hating them and making a big deal of every time they hit me. This is very helpful.

    And thank you everyone for taking time to replying and sharing your insights. It seems like there is a major consensus on that letting the thoughts pass by instead of trying to resist them is the way to go. This has been very helpful. Thank you everyone! :)
     
    Old light likes this.
  14. alxwarrior18

    alxwarrior18 Fapstronaut

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    I keep seeing images in my head from P I've seen before. Any advice?
     
  15. Try to avoid triggers as much as possible, and don't dwell on those thoughts.
     
  16. pump20

    pump20 Fapstronaut

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    Don't masturbate over those thoughts too. You're supposed to be stay horny because body makes you stronger.
     

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