Could porn have contributed to this shift in my personality?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by OhWhenThe, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. OhWhenThe

    OhWhenThe Fapstronaut

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    Bit of background - 30M and the sad truth is I have no friends, no love life and I hardly leave the house except for work(which is also socially isolated), food or going for a run. I've not even spoken to someone of a similar age as myself in an informal setting for like 10 years and I'm not even joking. If anyone's as much of a social recluse as I am then I'd like to meet them(haha).

    Things weren't always like this though. I often read of people having a tough childhood, no friends, being bullied etc which makes me feel bad but none of this was true in my case.

    In fact, from say the age of 7 to 17 I had many friends, a GF(albeit more in name only as I was too scared to take things further), other female friends and so on. I was hardly ever at home which is a stark contrast to where I've found myself since. A typical day for me would be school, come home, get changed, go out, home for dinner, back out and home just in time for bed. If my friends weren't around or for some reason or I couldn't go out I would hate it, not that I was necessarily needy but I was much happier when around them. If all else failed then I would simply go to the park and find people there to hang out with. Whilst I was by no means the most popular kid on the block, I was doing just fine and life was good.

    Around 17 or 18 though things changed and they haven't gotten any better, actually they've just continued to get worse. Coincidentally(?) it was around this time that I started to watch porn, I had seen the odd bit before this when friends had shown me but it didn't really interest me all that much, tbh at that time I was far too fascinated by the real life girls in my school to bother with it.

    At that point my personality began to change and it's taken me all this time to even realise it. I didn't enjoy going out anymore. Instead of going out every day it became every other day, then twice a week, once a week, once a fortnight and so on until I just never went out again and friends no longer even bothered to ask me. I would just find it boring and a complete chore, it simply just seemed like a lot of effort for not much reward. It's not like while I was with them I was thinking to myself how I'd rather be at home watching porn but maybe the porn caused these things to no longer appeal to me.

    I also began to become extremely self-conscious about my appearance even though I had attractive girls interested in me, all I could see were flaws. I started to hate myself and this snowballed to the point where I would hide away when family came to visit. I did have some ongoing health problems during my 20s which definitely didn't help matters but I was already well on my way to hermitville.

    I'm not really sure why I'm posting all of this but maybe someone out there can relate. Perhaps porn actually had nothing to do with it and this is just happens to some people for no reason.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH likes this.
  2. Candun

    Candun Fapstronaut

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    Hey man addiction is a son of a bitch. I'd bet $1000 against a penny that it had something to do with it at the very least. But especially since you're aware of it now, you can start heading down the road back.
     
    NF SINCE BIRTH and OhWhenThe like this.
  3. NF SINCE BIRTH

    NF SINCE BIRTH Fapstronaut

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    You should really give Nofap a proper try. PMO does this to you. It zaps you of energy and motivation. Read some success stories. The effects are real.
     

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