Could this be the reason for my addiction?

It might be associated or it may not be. What matters is that you have an addiction and you do not enjoy where it has taken you mentally and physically. I am confused on what your problem is, is it your addiction to porn, or your social skills? Personally I believe they are too different things.

There is this false idea that quitting porn will make you some stud that all the girls will chase, this is false, very very false. When it comes to getting girls, it relies on sheer confidence and knowing what to say at the right time. For me, growing up I lacked this confidence but I started going out and not caring if I get rejected or not and eventually I learned how to talk to women, and that is how I pulled women that were 20+ when I was only 16. It also helped that I was good looking and 6'4 when I was 16, and also I already had facial hair and looked 25 lol. Quitting porn won't make girls want you, but it could help with your self esteem. Your social skills depend on you, your self confidence, and your personal experiences.

When it comes to porn, everybody has their goals. Some people want to completely rewire their vision and cut porn out for good, some people just want to quit because their porn tastes have escalated to things that don't correlate with their true self, and some people want to quit because they feel porn is effecting their social life. Everybody is on here for different reasons, but all with the same goal, to better themselves and become happy again.

Do you still have trouble with women and how old are you now? If you need advice with women I can answer questions because I have been rejected a lot myself, but I didn't let it effect my self confidence.

 

No problem, and to answer your question:

The only person who could know what led to this issue is you, and even you might not know what specifically caused it. The best thing you should do is not care about what caused it, you seem to understand you have a problem and it's porn related. I spent so much time looking for answers and I never found any and once I stopped caring is when peace in my mind came.

When you say enjoy real normal women without getting urges, what are you trying to imply? What urges or silly ideas do you get? Porn related ideas such as bondage?

 

Ah yes, your problem seems strictly porn related. Quit porn and never look back, set goals for yourself, for example start with 30 days, then 50, then 100. Then keep going from there. Whenever you get a thought or urge related to your fetish, shut it down and don't reward it. Eventually your brain will rewire itself with softer tastes and this fetish will no longer be a desire, and a desire for a healthy relationship will take it's place.

As for social skills, just keep talking to more women and practice flirting with them. Don't use pick up lines, they are dumb and cheesy and never work unless you are the most good looking man on the planet. But when you want to pick up women you should approach them and introduce yourself and ask for their names and ask them where they are from or compliment something about them. I have practiced so much that I literally have a routine that I follow every time lol, I am a little sucker. I always look for a way to start a convo, and if there is not any I will forcefully start one by asking a question, like what are you eating or do you know where I can find this restaurant. I then proceed to thank them and introduce myself and tell them I think you are gorgeous, then the convo presumes from their and I ask them for a social media or snapchat, and that is how I continue the conversation, some girls reject me in person, some reject me on social media, and a lot of them are interested in me aswell. It's all up to you when it comes to women, have confidence and also have some carelessness in rejection.

 

There is a template for people abusing porn:

1) Low self esteem
2) Lack of social contact
3) Unloved in the family, or sees him/herself as unloved in the family
4) Isolated, spends allot of time alone
5) Lack of sexual contact or sexual awkwardness(inability to enjoy sex, or get satisfaction)
6) Fear of rejection
7) Unable to connect with other people
8) Feels like other judge him/her
9) Depression and feeling on not deserving
10) Suicidal thoughts when depressed
11) Does not trust others

I have been watching this forum for some time to understand this issue and after half a year I see clear pattern - psychological problems lead abuse of pornography.
In medical community these fall broadly in to "depression" that develops from psychological issues typically established during childhood.

Only treatment and resolution of these issues can change pornography abuse.

My personal progress on this was made by working on psychological problems.