Countdown to My Wedding- Oct 20

Hello Nofap community,

I want to start of with THANK YOU. Thanks to you all, to God, friends and fiancé I have completed:
-18 months without porn
- 60 days on hard mode
- rewiring of my brain

It would be silly to say I don’t go through temptation still, but i feel largely freed from my previous chains of daily and hourly temptation to watch porn. Praise. The. Lord.

After some debate, prayer and struggle, my fiancé and I have decided to fool around on a regular basis, but save many things including sex for our marriage night. So to be clear- I am NOT ok with MO, but am allowing myself O via my significant other only.

The purpose of this blog is to journal my thoughts (step 11 in my 12 step is retrospection), to describe and seek help for some of the side effects of my rewired brain, and to help others trying to escape the bondage of PMO and MO (step 12).

This is day one, that’s enough for tonight. Will hopefully post tomorrow night.

 

So I want to talk about the good and bad of my re-wired brain. I’ll be brief cuzz I’m tired. The good is that I’m not preoccupied thinking about sex all day. In fact I barely think about it at all. I have always gotten hard anytime we start to get sexual. I’m just hoping that continues and continues. I guess I don’t have a reason to think it won’t, except for my sex drive seems to have diminished a bit. Maybe that’s because I don’t think about sex all day anymore. That’s kinda the bad.

Anyone else have experience in this?

 

Hey everyone,

98 days since last MO. Praising God for freedom. Also happy with stronger erections I felt last weekend with SO. I feel more confident and I have every reason to be. It’s crazy that with rewired brain pretty much the only time I get an erection is with her, and sometimes morning wood. That’s a good place to be.

 

Team Nofap,

Today is a big day as I completed my 12 step program. It all started with a pastor at my church telling me about his battles with porn and how celebrate recovery had helped him. I hope to help atleast one person on this forum!

 

It’s sexual activity such as oral sex without P in V intercourse.

 

To be specific, I’m saving piv for marriage.

 

Hi everyone,

Day 114 without MO, glory to God! I completed my 12 step about 2 weeks ago and really miss my friends from that group. There’s nothing better than honest fellowship with dudes who are honest and caring.

Went through a rough patch with my fiancé, but feel we’ve come out of it thanks to some good pre-marriage counseling and her commitment to respecting me. We read “Love & Respect” and focused a lot on the topic. A lot of our conflict I blamed on her lack of treating me like her leader. That’s part of the problem, but i am a greater part of the problem. I need to better communicate during our conflicts and consider her opinion/perspective more. She does SO MUCH to respect me outside of conflict. She follows me spiritually, she follows me financially, she takes career advice from me. She texts me and tells me how much she respects me almost daily. I cannot believe that I got so lucky with this girl!

Also, she’s so hot skippity sexy.

That’s all.

Later.

 

Thanks for the comment.. when are you getting married?

Yeah we had a great weekend and it was so much fun just being around her. I can’t wait to live with her.

A 12 step is a focus group where you and everyone in your group try to beat an addiction. There are 12 steps to beating an addiction.. as popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous. I loved it! It forced me to be honest and spill all my crap on a weekly basis. I reached a level of honesty that I didn’t know was possible. For example during step 8 I told my parents about my porn during step 9, and apologized to them for lying about it for a long time.

 

Yeah I’ll just run that by her

 

Sometimes I get in this funk where my fiancé says something I don’t like, and I dwell on it. It’s like I find a flaw in it, then a reason to be offended, then I dwell. What is should remember is this: Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not self seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no records of wrong. It does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I realized today that I need to try as hard as possible to be happy with her. I’m praying that God helps me do that.