Countdown to My Wedding- Oct 20

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by RedeemedIowan, Jul 18, 2018.

  1. TomGHP

    TomGHP New Fapstronaut

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    Paris is the best place ever
     
  2. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Does anyone who’s been in a successful marriage have a realistic idea of how many times I can expect to have sex per week?
     
  3. MikeDownUnder

    MikeDownUnder Fapstronaut

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    Define successful, I think for me a successful marriage is when you don’t need to expect sex.
     
  4. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    So grateful to God for helping me quit PMO before marriage. Holy snikies I’m grateful. Tomorrow marks 20 months without porn for me.
     
    Healed! and MikeDownUnder like this.
  5. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    What a great gift to your bride. You don’t know how blessed you are to start your marriage this way and to stay that way throughout. Don’t turn back and 50 years from now you’ll have something to truly celebrate!!
     
    MikeDownUnder likes this.
  6. ghalib

    ghalib Fapstronaut

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    God give you more HAPPINESS/LOVE/HEALTH/WEALTH AMEN
     
  7. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Nothing to do with sex, but does anyone have any advice on how to best handle it when my fiancé gets very upset for purely emotional reasons, nothing to do with logic? For example she became livid with me the next day, after attending a wedding with her and not standing with her in the food line and talking to her female friend at dinner. I asked her if it had anything to do with jealousy and she repeatedly said no. She said she just felt unloved and wanted me to act like I wanted to be with her.

    This is a microcausim of many of our fights, just hoping to get some opinions, especially from females @AnonymousAnnaXOXO @GG2002
     
  8. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    My first piece of advice is to not categorize her reaction as “purely emotional.” Even if you don’t say that to her if you think it your reaction is very likely to show it. And please don’t ever say that to her! Why? Because it minimizes how she feels. Women are often dismissed as too emotional. Oh she’s on her period she must just be acting irrational. It’s not that her reaction is emotional it’s that you categorize it that way because you don’t understand her reaction. It’s okay that you don’t understand. It’s okay that you would not react as she did we are all different. That’s why you need communication and understanding. Instead of dismissing how she feels as infounded validate her feelings. Try something like this: “ I know that what I did upset you and I am really sorry. I want to avoid it again so can you help me understand why you feel that way?” 99.9% of the time there is a very valid reason for her reaction you are just not seeing it and she’s not telling you because she assumes you should know. She may even feel offended that you don’t.

    So talk. But I will take a guess at why she’s upset. Women who have been in relationships with pmo addicts develop very low self esteem. It gets worse the longer it goes on and it takes a very long time to rebuild. This is true even if she’s the hottest woman ever she’s insecure trust me. She wants you to stand in the line next to her because you are talking to other women. If you are beside her then she knows you are only paying attention to her. You may also be checking out other women without even realizing you are. Do what she needs to built that esteem back up. If another women approaches you and starts having a convo with you even if it’s just innocent cut it short. If your partner is nearby say to the other woman “hey let me introduce you to my girlfriend.” Then walk over to where she is and introduce the two. I hope this helps.
     
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  9. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Today I felt a strong urge to go hunting up sexual things on the internet. It has been a LONG time since I’ve done that. I was bored, home alone, and stressed about something. Idk why but I decided to go on twitter and just dick around. At the end I felt like I was searching women, even though I just opened the ‘entertainment’ catagory of live video. I could tell I was up to no good. I even searched for a musical artist that I know to be attractive. However that’s where it stopped. I got off Twitter, into my car and left home.

    In a good reboot, honesty is the best defense against backsliding. Please holla at me and let me know if you’re reading to make me feel like I’ve got someone holding me accountable. Wedding is in 28 days (!!!?!), I haven’t MO’d since April and could use some love. Thanks nofap, I O U 1.
     
    MikeDownUnder likes this.
  10. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    You did the right thing by escaping. The path you were headed down leads nowhere good. Keep your eyes on the goal of 28 days.
     
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  11. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Still feeling a little tempted. I need to take this time to reflect on how grateful I am that god brought me out of this mess. He put the right people and tools within my reach. This site is definitely one. I also want to consider the terrible pain it would cost my fiancé if I fell back into P or M. She had been cheated on and violated. She deserves someone who is completely faithful and unselfish. I know with God’s help that can be me.
     
  12. Absar uddin

    Absar uddin New Fapstronaut

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    Brother i feel so happy for you that you have get rid of your addiction habit. You are a lucky person. I feel like i can never overcome my addiction problem but after reading this thread i have a believe and faith in myself i can do it this time if other person can do it it i can do it as well. If i rewind back i have destroyed my teenage life, education, my early career in professional life. I have been regretting myself for years about my porn addiction but i cant do anything about it until now.
     
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  13. RedeemedIowan

    RedeemedIowan Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone,

    Tomorrow I will be marrying my amazing woman and tomorrow night I will be having sex with her for the very first time.

    I’ll go into our marriage with 21 months cleans from PMO and p-subs. Over 6 months clean from MO. And wow does it feel great to have those out of my relationship.

    If anyone is reading this and feels hopeless, know there IS hope. I watched porn for 14 years. I was at war with it for 5 years. Now at 29 I’m getting married!

    How did I do it? I admitted I was a slave to this thing (PMO) and needed someone to save me. Luckily, God put key people in my life to lead me and guide me. Righteous men who had been there. An amazing woman who I’ve been honest with about my addiction.

    Now I want to be there to help you. I’ll be on my honeymoon for 2 succulent weeks, but if anyone wants me to mentor them, let me know.
     
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  14. Healed!

    Healed! Fapstronaut

    Congratulations! Well done.
     
  15. torrace

    torrace Fapstronaut

    Congratulations! May you and your wife always find joy in each other and the little things in life. Have a blessed honeymoon!
     
  16. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    I am so happy to hear this! Congrats to you on your very hard work. Hopefully you will inspire others to see it can be done. Enjoy your wedding and your new life with your bride!
     
  17. I've heard it said most couples don't have sex on the wedding night since they're exhausted from the wedding... :emoji_confounded:
     

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