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Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by u376, Sep 19, 2019.
Become more committed to my recovery
1. Had lunch wirh colleagues
2. Watched 3 episodes of Keijo!!!!!
3. Didn't PMO
3 wins today:
1. Attended class
2. Said no to pizza
3. Took responsibility for a group assignment
I love this thread! Thanks!
2. Finished Erased (would recommend watching)
@u376 Wow....that ending was pretty good.
Had good time with friend
Ate with father out.
Had good time with family.
Interacted with my little cousins....which was awkward at times
Took cold bath
Went running even though I did not feel like it
Listened to a podcast of Paul Chek and took inspiration from it
Took care of some annoying paperwork for an insurance
Huge realizations after smoking a small joint after 70+ days without smoking:
1. I have fallen asleep with my recovery process:
I stopped focusing on turning my life and way of thinking upside down and instead I replaced my P addiction by (a) animes which are often times borderline with lost of sexual innuendos and partial nudity (without even realizing it; my brain was obviously rationalizing this) and (b) sexting with a girl with whom I had sex.
I need to stop that with immediate effect.
I don't count this as a relapse, but now that I've come to my senses, I as of this moment solemnly declare that these are P-subs and need to be banned from my world.
I also need to stop browsing the nofap forums. I will only come daily to post my successes on this thread and stay accountable to you guys. But I won't browse the rest of the forums especially not the four first ones which I think are really unhealthy to read after 70 days without P.
Instead, I need to focus on changing my life and my way of thinking to completely change the old me into my new me.
2. I need to keep doing nofap, but restrict it to almost monk mode (near the 75%-80% monk area). I also need to persevere with my abstinence from other addictions (weed, tobacco, coffee, compulsive M) which I have not relapsed into.
The joint I just smoked was a courtesy gesture from a friend who just harvested hia homegrown plants and wanted me to give him a feedback.
I'm glad I accepted because I now have all of these productive thoughts.
Normally, weed leads me straight to P: this time, I fought sexual thoughts and finally won by letting them pass through and then having tuis insane epiphany.
3. I fantasized for maybe 5-10mn straight because of the weed I smoked. But then I had this huge realization that fantasizing was shit and just bad and pointless. It was such a waste of time. Like I really now see how it was thw monster inside me trying to take its powwr back. I realized I would rather do anything but fantasize. I then thought about watching a movie but I thought it would be a waste of time too. So I decided to stop doijg stupid passive shitty activities and do productive stuff such as: learning about and working on how to change my life and way of thinking, do productive things like play a stockmarket trading game with friends who invited me to participate 4 months ago and kindly remainded me that I could still join, etc. Which I actually did. I hope my friends will see that I care about their friendship and that I want to have fun with them rather than being secluded in my fantasy world.
I did maybe 20 guided relaxation sessions at the beginning of my streak but somehow I stopped doing that. I will start this habbit over tonight as I havr learned so much from it already. I believe I realized right now that it taught me to dislike fantasizing: it is a clear example that I am not present and living in the moment. On the contrary, I am 100% in my head and disconnected from reality. It's just terrible.
Reminds me of my dark days in P and weed addiction: the guilt, the shame, the fear.
I WILL NEVER GO BACK!!
Keep up the cold bath and meditation man. I need to follow your path. These are great habbits that need to be cultivated.
I totally get it for interacting with young cousins. For me too the experience is always a bit awkward.
Nothing more liberating than taking care of overdue annoying paperwork!
Actually they are more confident and social than me
They are of age groups from 14-20
1. Did laundry
2. Finished Psycho-Pass (would recommend, has really good world building)
I think psycho pass was ok ok
1st season was good because of that black haired guy.....
Also the opening song is good.......but later it bored me
1. Hit the gym
2. Had a good conversation with a friend
3. Made it through 8 hours of lectures in university
1. Woke up late, but managed to go for a run before school anyway.
2. After several hours of work with my study group, I was not satisfied with a particular task I had completed earlier that day. When I got home, I sat down and rewrote the thing (programming) instead of hitting the couch straight away.
3. Learned something about myself: I've come to realize my dieting (ketogenic) is draining my willpower, that could otherwise be spent to study harder. I've decided to loosen up on it, until I am ready to give it another go. Even if keto is higher performance on paper, I do not have the willpower to utilize it.
1. Closed an annoying administrative procedure.
2. Went out for dinner with friends (on my initiative).
3. Didn't PMO.
1. Read a book
2. Took a nap
Didnt watch porn
Learned a bit for school
Made a phone call instead of writing messages like a pussy
1. Visites my grand parents.
2. Found a new hobby (stock trading simulator).
3. Worked on remaining calm while half of my family was already arguing about Christmas.