Course Correction Journey

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by RiBo, Nov 9, 2015.

  1. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 0:-

    This forum will serve as my personal journal for NoFap challenge. I'd share my daily struggle, urges, triggers and tips I find on the way to overcome this challenge.
    My introduction:
    http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/generic-noob-introduction.51546/

    Lets start by saying I've been fapping almost every day, at least once per day. It kinda disgusts me that I can stoop so low, knowing the ill effects of porn and the dangers/ills of porn industry and online nude scandals.
     
  2. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 1:-

    No particular strong urges felt today. I've tried to observe my triggers, some of them are quite weird. Trigger list includes:
    • Tissue stack: A big stack makes me think these will go to waste and hence should judiciously utilize it. Kinda funny now that I think about it. Don't have a tissue stack now, only about 2-3 for taking care of cold.
    • Risqué pictures in anime/manga/mainstream media: A trigger common for most NoFap members here, and I'm no exception. I try to avoid them as much as possible, but my main focus is to not be phased much after seeing them.
    • Boredom: A big trigger for me, hence I combat it by keeping myself busy. Hobbies and socialising do wonders for me and I get to keep procrastination at bay.
    • Woman's normal pic (properly clothed) who has big boobs: A mild trigger for me, I suspect it's because of porn DD cup effect. :p
    One thing that annoys me the most is random boners and morning wood. Earlier I used to masturbate if they didn't go away quickly, but now I have to wait a lot in order to lose erection. I hope that day doesn't come back again when I had a morning wood for 2 hours!! Had to masturbate to get rid of it... :oops:
     
  3. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 2:-

    Got busy with assignment, never had the time to think about anything erotic. No challenge yet, lets see how this unfolds.
     
  4. To lower the erection, try moving blood elsewhere in the body. Quick set of pushups will help. Also, run to the shower and make it cold as ice. Were in this together. Ask if you need anything.
     
    RiBo likes this.
  5. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 3:-

    While surfing through the net, I saw some mildly suggestive pics but the weird part is that it didn't even arouse me. I guess arousal depends on one's attitude and seriousness. No cravings as of yet, so I guess I'm good for now. Avoiding nudity as much as possible, to aid my correction. Later in the day I don't know why thoughts started to creep up when I saw my friend's pic on fb feed..but I diverted my mind quickly and all is well. I can already feel myself being able to concentrate for longer periods of time.
     
  6. Good. Surf the net with purpose, dont just go around willy nilly. Give yourself a time and a purpose. "Today I will check out Amazon quickly to buy that thing, I will email so and so about this, and spend most of the time on NoFap."
     
  7. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 4:-

    No urges felt today also, I'm starting to wonder if I even had a problem in the first place. It gives me hope that I'm still not "damaged" to the point that I'm craving for porn. I'll always strive for rejecting porn from my lifestyle. Had a good lunch today, so most of the day was time well spent on good food, academics and gaming.
    Ah being a procrastinator is like a much bigger problem of mine, and I'm not sure if I can live without mindlessly searching for entertainment on social media.
     
  8. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 5:-
    *post may contain trigger words*

    Today I felt like I was losing tight control, because ...this is embarrassing to say but I was watching compilation videos of girls deepthroating bananas.:oops:
    Saw 2 whole videos about it but didn't masturbate though, and since it isn't a P sub (they were all non-nude/properly clothed) I'm not counting my reset. The rest of the day was under control though. I'm going to find ways to keep myself busy/entertained so that I don't do anything risky again out of boredom.
     
  9. You and I both know this can build to an eventual relpase. In order to cleanse, go out and exercise harder than ever before.
     
  10. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 6:-

    Now I am starting to feel the effects of controlling my urges to masturbate or watch porn. I still can function normally for most cases but when I'm by myself the thought of edging does take place. Good thing I have a physical token of shame nearby to look at when I feel those urges(my "used" tissue stack in bin).
    I am able to appreciate general beauty more, while give more time for socialising with my friends. Concentration levels have improved, but there is room for much better growth.
    Assignments and semester exams now take centre stage for me, so I don't think I'll even have the time to ponder about fapping.
     
  11. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 7 & 8:-

    Nothing exciting in particular, just have my usual random arousals from time to time but not to the point of PMO. The good thing is the arousal is not because of only semi-nude type pics, its more because of some attractive women I see on a daily/weekly basis.
     
  12. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 9 & 10:-

    I noticed my genital has become sensitive, especially the "head". When I'm walking around, sometimes the underwear fabric rubs against it and it causes an erection, which is uncalled for. So I stop walking or walk slowly while trying to put disgusting thoughts in my head to tackle the erection.
    I'm also able to face girls and maintain eye-contact longer while talking to them. I guess I'm taking care of my shyness to thanks to PMO restrain. I'm glad I don't think much about their physique much as I did earlier while interacting with them ( it wasn't anything serious issue but I felt bad that my mind swayed towards their boob-area occasionally ).
    I'm glad I took this PMO abstaining challenge. I can focus on more important things and not be a hypocrite anymore.
     
  13. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 11:-

    Lots of urges felt throughout the day, I guess now my mind is starting to crave for those nudes which I was dependent on before NoFap. I got scared that I may not make it so I just stopped using my laptop and just went to sleep. Also lately I observe myself being too pitiful about myself when I see romantic scenes in videos/tv/movies, because....reasons (mainly being single). There were times today when I wanted to masturbate so bad because of the urges but I somehow managed to distract myself and the erection died shortly after.
     
  14. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 12:-

    The urges continue to be high, now I'm getting cautious trying to use the internet. I'm glad to observe I don't really have a problem with socialising, as there isn't much difference I see back when I was addicted to porn.
     
  15. RiBo

    RiBo Fapstronaut

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    Day 0:-

    I gave in to the urges, it was becoming way too annoying. I was surprised at the amount of load I had in reserve. Now I need to wash my undies a lot harder _-_ . Oh well, I see that my natural urge/masturbation cycle is once in 2 weeks. I'll try to be better next time. (don't know what the problem is with my net but will reset as soon as it is fixed)
     
  16. the phantom pain

    the phantom pain Fapstronaut

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    keep on going I find it tough when i get to 3 + weeks its just a matter of adjusting what you do with your time. i'm trying to learn to love withdrawing from PMO can only go one day at a time
     
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