Day 301, Day 302, & Day 303 My wife was really sick for a few days and I also had to start on the job training. It was a little scary for me, I haven't seen my wife sick like this since we've been together. She told me she hadn't thrown up since she was 12. She was vomiting the rest of the night and couldn't keep anything down. Before I went to work on Tuesday, I told her to just stay in bed and take her medicine. I did my training and things were fine. When I came home she wasn't feeling perfect, but she was feeling better. I stayed close to her in bed, held her when she wanted to be held, and eventually we both fell asleep. Wednesday she was feeling a lot better. She wasn't perfect, but she wasn't completely weak. I had another training I needed to get done, so I set out for work. During my lunch break, my wife called me and we were having a nice chat. She started to think about some things though that made her really sad. She felt like she was failing as a wife. I tried to comfort her but then she started to feel worse thinking about a lot of things. We ended the call and a little while later she sent me a text apologizing to me, letting me know it wasn't my fault, but that she had some work to do. When I came home she was happy to see me. I talked to her for a little while but then I told her to go back to sleep. I went to eat my dinner, watched an episode of a show, and then turned in. Yesterday was Valentines Day. It was fucking horrible. After doing a lot of thinking, my wife was pretty upset with the way her life has turned out. I agree that it isn't fair that I brought her to this point in her life. She had been regretting that she was with me, partly due to the fact that I'm ignorant about certain things but also due to the fact that I've hurt her so severely. I almost immediately shut down, which was the biggest mistake I could have made. We went out to get a few errands done and when we came home, things weren't perfect. I ended up going into my room and isolating for a little while. I came out of my room and started to talk with my wife, but she ended up getting more upset. I tried to disengage, but I did it in such a poor way, and then I blame shifted saying I was feeling attacked. I just pushed things to a point of chaos that could have been avoided. I don't want to go into more detail about things, but in the end we went out, I grabbed some Captain Morgan, we got some Taco Bell, she ate a little bit and went to sleep, and I drank a bit and caught a buzz. I gave my wife a horrible Valentines Day. My relationship is suffering and I haven't done much in order to repair it. I feel lost, she feels hurt and alone. I just want my wife to be happy with me. But I'm worried that things just might not work out how I want. I need to remember I can't control everything. But I also need to know what I can do in order to repair damage that I've done.