Craving intimacy

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by onix, Sep 4, 2020.

  1. onix

    onix Fapstronaut

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    I've been single all my life because of low self esteem issues i development thanks to school bullies and every time i start to feel lonely i then pmo.

    I don't have any friends and no one to turn to so i pmo

    This very moment im craving intimacy and don't want to pmo

    What can i do?

    Thanks
     
    Kingler likes this.
  2. What does that look like to you, in your mind as you imagine it to mean?
    You need to define something before you can attain it. Maybe it’s not so out of reach.
     
  3. onix

    onix Fapstronaut

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    I'm just tired of being alone.
     
  4. Are you able to go out and meet people? Do you expect them to come knock at your door uninvited?

    Sometimes life requires a little bravery. An English saying I once learned says something like: "Faint heart never won fair maiden." You may face some rejection. Not every person will be the type who can relate well to you. But after you meet enough people, you will surely increase your odds of finding at least one with whom you can establish a friendship. "He that hath friends must show himself friendly," as a well known saw goes. One piece of advice, however: Do not come across to others as needy. Let them think you are comfortable with who you are without their friendship. No one wants to become close friends with a clinging vine. This is something that I learned late, and I wish someone had helped me understand it when I was younger.

    Hope this helps.
     
  5. Kingler

    Kingler Fapstronaut

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    Never Lose Faith In Yourself. We All Are Your Friends. You Can Talk To Us. Keep Trying You Can Quit PMO. I used to do it seven times a day now it is reduced to twice a week. :) :)
     
  6. Queek The HeadTakker

    Queek The HeadTakker Fapstronaut

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    Start by stopping vitimazing yourself and takedown yourself and actually do something d
    to improve yourself
     
    Kingler likes this.
  7. Well the grass isn't greener on the other side too. Life sucks whether you have friends or you don't have any.

    What you need to do is learn to cheer yourself and do what matters at this stage in time. If you need to get a degree to get a better job, do it. If you need to go out more and develop your social skills do it.

    There is no use being depressed and worried, because most of the time, things are going to be tough and people are going to be strangers to you and your concerns.
     
    Bethelightinmyheart and Kingler like this.
  8. Love2LongBoard

    Love2LongBoard Fapstronaut

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    Just know finding a SO (Significant Other) won't change anything. Be the kind of person that your future SO wants to be with. Focus on becoming. If you want to find a partner, that isn't bad, as long as you are healthy. It would be horrible though, for both of you, if you did so while you still aren't healthy.
     
    Deleted Account and Kingler like this.
  9. onix

    onix Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for all your advice.

    Its just that i am in a very "forever alone" state of mind and is one reason i keep failing nofap.

    I have noticed with myself that i find it difficult to meet people who are in groups but fine with individuals. And if i meet a individual and they introduce me to there group i go silent and just stand there.

    No girl has taken any interest in me which lowers my self esteem and deppression.

    Ive basically lived my whole life saying "whats the point" and just isolate myself and pmo.

    The only good thing at this point is that im on day 6 and even that road is starting to look rocky.

    It does feel like i pull the short straw in everything in life and im getting sick of it. Everytime i start to climb that ladder i get knocked off.

    I have been looking at escort profiles so i can have some companionship but not looking for anything sexual.
     
    Deleted Account and Kingler like this.
  10. Kingler

    Kingler Fapstronaut

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    Don't Worry Bro Your Day Will Come. And Yeah Keep Smiling :). BTW Try To Face Your Fears, I Too Have Been Introvert My Whole Life But I've Improved A Lot. Why Don't You Read Some Books? I Would Recommend You To Read "How To Win Friends & Influence People" A Book By Dale Carnegie & "The Power Of Habit" By Charles Duhigg :) . And Yeah All The Best For Your Journey You Have The Potential You Can Succeed. :) :)
     
    Bethelightinmyheart likes this.
  11. Bethelightinmyheart

    Bethelightinmyheart Fapstronaut

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    Also, advice is valid in this quote imho, however, don't push to hard early on. You might run into a wall: take it gradually...I know talking up women today is not easy for the best of them, remember male attention is at a all time low, it is a fire-sale fellas, so first I would just get some kind of sponsor or program for gainng confidence and a sense of self-worth from withing then let it resignate from others. It just isnt so that girls automatically bring you any kind of sense of intimacy or joy or anything like that, infact, having a girlfriend can be cause of stress, feelings of inadequacy, having to intensely face fears - maybe deep rooted fears - of intimacy and struggling with feelings if you are worth it or not. Also, depends what caliber girl you shopping for. For sure, not so hot are more easy maintanance however you might lose interest faster in those, in my personal experience.
     
    Kingler likes this.
  12. why escorts? that's paying three times as much for inexperienced companionship. you would be much smarter to invest the money in a coach or a therapist. if you're not lying about seeking nonsexual interaction, there are far more affordable options. i am working on a course that eventually will certify me for abuse and addiction counseling. if you are still struggling in 6 months, let's talk! ;) i'm kidding, but i do think it would be an act of self-love to put some real resources into your own well being. that could mean spending a chunk of money on the help. give yourself that gift.

    if you are going to spend money, spend it on something that will give you the tools you need to better nurture your outlook. the rest will come quite easily once you work on what's going on between the ears.
     
    again likes this.
  13. G77

    G77 Fapstronaut

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    It's really hard to face PMO when you're lonely, ik how it feels, from now we can become friends if you wish so? :)
     
    Kingler likes this.
  14. cd013

    cd013 Fapstronaut

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    How old are you OP?
     

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