Crazy Courage Moment

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by TakingTheSteps, Feb 7, 2016.

  1. Okay, so I had an awesome moment today of realizing some major improvement in my life. This will take a bit of explaining, so bear with me.

    So at my church, generally after a few songs the pastor will invite us to pray with each other. People will raise their hands for prayer, and the people surrounding them will support them and listen and pray together. So anyway, there was a guy a few rows ahead of me, sitting alone, who raised his hand. I, along with many other people, laid hands on him to pray, and I just felt kind of... empty. Like I had no idea what was going on in this man's life and no idea how to pray for him. Of course God doesn't need me to know anything, but it was a strange feeling, nevertheless, because I really wanted to be there for him but felt like I couldn't.

    Okay hang in there, guys, I'm past all the "religious" stuff. ;) So I went back to my seat and I just couldn't get the guy off my mind. He seemed to be in a tough spot in life, but trying to be strong on his own, and I wanted to help somehow. My first thought was, "Maybe you should go sit by him?" and that thought kind of blew my mind.

    First of all, if you know me, the idea of walking up to some strange man and saying "Hey, can I sit by you?" is, in itself, a bit insane and panic-attack-inducing. Secondly, I'm a married woman, he was alone, I was alone... I didn't want to give off an "I'm single and looking" vibe by approaching him out of the blue like that. Thirdly, since getting married I've always been a little bit confused about how to have male friends, especially making new male friends, without compromising my relationship with my husband in some way. So for all of these reasons, the thought of approaching this guy was something that would have terrified the crap out of me a few months or years ago. But today, things were different, and that is because of the growth God is leading me through on these forums.

    I am so grateful for the growth here. My life has changed so much since I found NoFap, not just in relation to PMO. First of all, meeting so many new people, developing new friendships, experiencing such a vast variety of personalities, beliefs, morals, opinions, etc. has expanded my bubble in a beautiful way. I feel so much more confident in my ability to meet someone new and get to know them. I don't really feel uncomfortable about that anymore. On the contrary, it's exciting, because I know how much of a blessing it has been to make so many new friends here, so I'm even more excited to bring that into other avenues of my life as well!

    And secondly, having so many new male friends, some of them very deep and close and "intimate," if you will, has taught me so much. I feel like I finally know how to balance male friends and my husband in a healthy way, and that is seriously so huge for me. I've always had almost exclusively male friends, so this has been a really tough thing to figure out, for me. It's been such an answer to so many prayers to be able to have those great friendships with men again.

    So long story short (too late, amirite?), I made a new friend today, which is something I haven't really had in a long time, outside of the internet. Quitting PMO hasn't, in itself, changed my confidence in any drastic way, but being a part of this community certainly has. I was talking to my mom after church about all of this, and even she said "Wow, the forums have been really good for you. You never would have done that before." So big thank-you to our man Alexander and to all of my lovely friends here who have all, seriously every single one of you who has spoken to me in any way, played a role in building up my confidence and conversational skills enough to be there for someone today who really needed it. It was one of those beautiful, special moments of human connection that came at just the right time, the right place, with the right heart behind it. I'm excited for the possibility of more opportunities like today.
  2. All Married

    All Married Fapstronaut

    Your truly a beautiful, kind & caring woman. You yourself will go on progressing and helping others even more. Such a lovely experience you have expressed. Real life friends are so important. I, just like you, find friendship so much more natural with the opposite sex, and my best friends are ladies. Well done you for reaching out to someone you did not know. We are proud of you. :)
    taqwa likes this.
  3. Aw, thank you sir ^_^ I appreciate that encouragement! You're a sweetheart.
    yoyo1 likes this.
  4. taqwa

    taqwa Fapstronaut

    This is connection in action. Study it well. Thanks for sharing! Well done! I echo the statements of @Almost Married! Stay strong! Win!
    TakingTheSteps likes this.
  5. Dope read and kudos to you! I could never walk up to a random girl and start a convo like that. That is something I need to change.. I really do think platonic relationships are important. Oh and I hope everything is well with that guy.
  6. Platonic relationships can be really great :) And don't worry, I'm sure you'll grow in that ability. It took me a while to get to that point, and then I had a few years of being crazy shy again and not being able to approach people, and now I think I'm getting that confidence back.

    And yes, he is doing well. I don't want to share too much, of course, but he's hanging in there and has a lot of peace and trust in God, so that's a good spot to be in, in the midst of trial. :) He was also really glad I came over, because he was wanted to connect with people in the church more, so that's great.
    Lazarus Shuttlesworth likes this.
  7. VivaLaPunk

    VivaLaPunk Fapstronaut

    Congratulations on such huge strides and thank you for sharing! That's really inspiring. Hoping to get to the point soon where I can just have a good conversation with someone I'm not too close to or a complete stranger.
  8. You'll get there! After all, you're Ron F******g Swanson!

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