Critical porn addicted ,Ruined my life

pjain261

Fapstronaut
I was a smart boy as young kid (age around 14) when I exposed to porn .
Before I found this I was confident kid ,
Then I did not go much with friends instead was searching nude magazines , went buying porn film CDs masterbafing most of the time and almost lost my teenage to porn.
This continued in young age and I was in my engineering college, I do remember many things
1.I was a confident student in first year .
2.Was exposed to some college fights
3.Got in depression
4.Was started following to one of college senior who was himself porn,alcohol addict
5.Day by day I also cut off from college mates , lost my reputation in college due to my closeness with unreputed people.
6.I totally stopped going college and attending classes
7. I was totally free did not have any task
8. I stayed at college hostel , day time when everyone was in college meeting with friends,studying hard, living golden moments of life , I used to wake up at 11 -12 pm and did not go college , on computer and watch porn
9. This porn quality and quantity degraded over the time .(burden of life)
10. Whenever I masterbate I used to start having suicidal thoughts.


Anyways somehow I completed engineering but still porn existed.

Same continued from past 6-7 years of my job duration.
1.In this timespan I did not learn any social skills
2.overturned many good opportunities due to ruined decisions taken .
3. In every few months in frequently I was having a time period for one week or two week I would say it 'severe porn consuming duration' when I just did PM
4. In that duration while I was in job I did not care of consequences of this and lost reputation , exposed myself to office politics, did not took any measure to keep my job designation and lost many good opportunities. Not to mention one where I was in foreign and sent back to my home country as I was out of office for one week for no valid reason.
5. Not to mention PM greatly reduces

A. Emotional attachment
B. Focus on important things
C. Confidence on oneself
6. Over the last 18-20 years of PM quality of porn degraded too much and became burden on my soul .

Right now still it exists and I am married but now I have lost all my emotional touch with family members, have no close friends and missed almost golden period of my life.

I have totally ruined my life because of porn .

Will I get my life same energy to live my life .
Can I see beauty of this world as normal guys see and feel it.
Will I ever be able to love anyone.
Will I ever be PM free.
 
You can be free. I started today, you can start with me. Let's take the journey together buddy. My name is Harrison. I've been using since I was about 14 heavily.

Feel free to private message me. We can keep each other accountable man
 
Thanks buddy sure let's do it ,
I am day 2
Have started my 30 day challenge as if now ,will extend it once done ..
 
  • Like
Reactions: vet
Thanks buddy sure let's do it ,
I am day 2
Have started my 30 day challenge as if now ,will extend it once done ..
Sounds good man ! Congrats on starting. I'm going to go for 90 days PM - hoping to have a lay soon. I'm Going on a cruise in may !
 
Man your story is not new. Many of us are in the same boat. A part of being an addict and starting to become sober is the main theme of your message: Golden opportunity Lost.

We all have lost opportunities and missed chances to grow and develop. I personally had hundreds of moments that I lost simply due to an error in judgement and having become entrapped into the trance that is pmo. I wish that I could go back from the early days of college or heck even the night it started when I was a little 14 year old fiddling with the Tv channels. But we cant. Part of this healing is acceptance and when we first let go the missed opportunities are going hit us like a tsunami. It will drown you with pain, slowly accept it and let it wash over you.

I had many moments entrenched in my own tears because of the situations I reminisced about. What if I did this or that maybe I could have become someone of value. But let me tell you there is hope. Even if you ask yourself: Is there even a smallest chance that there is hope and I can still have my moment? the most negative/critical mind even would see that there is hope

So if there is even the smallest chance that that is true, hold on to it. you'll start to see that it will grow day by day. Its tough. So get tough.

I wish you the very best and hope that you remain to grow strong and help oothers as well

Stay Clean
 
Man your story is not new. Many of us are in the same boat. A part of being an addict and starting to become sober is the main theme of your message: Golden opportunity Lost.

We all have lost opportunities and missed chances to grow and develop. I personally had hundreds of moments that I lost simply due to an error in judgement and having become entrapped into the trance that is pmo. I wish that I could go back from the early days of college or heck even the night it started when I was a little 14 year old fiddling with the Tv channels. But we cant. Part of this healing is acceptance and when we first let go the missed opportunities are going hit us like a tsunami. It will drown you with pain, slowly accept it and let it wash over you.

I had many moments entrenched in my own tears because of the situations I reminisced about. What if I did this or that maybe I could have become someone of value. But let me tell you there is hope. Even if you ask yourself: Is there even a smallest chance that there is hope and I can still have my moment? the most negative/critical mind even would see that there is hope

So if there is even the smallest chance that that is true, hold on to it. you'll start to see that it will grow day by day. Its tough. So get tough.

I wish you the very best and hope that you remain to grow strong and help oothers as well

Stay Clean
Hey mate,
Thanks for hopeful positive words . yes will get our self free from PMO.
 
Back
Top