Crossdressing addiction

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Staystrong2020, Dec 13, 2019.

  1. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Crossdressing triggers the physiological response from the autonomic nervous system which is why it's masochism.
     
  2. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it s true that i like crossdresing since i was very little, but then when i was crossdressing, i was doing it because it gave me a nice feeling, but i fantasized about girls... now my fantasies are related to sissy stuff, and that s not who i am... even i like crossdressing, crossdressing somehow combined with porn and orgasm turnt me into a gay... but i dont like men, i like them just into my fantasy, after i orgasm i don t like them anymore... maybe not the crossdressing is bad, but maybe the porn, but still after abstaining one year from pmo, still having homosexual dreams... do you think i would have got these kind of dreams if i would have not watched sissy porn and tranny porn? I don't think so..
     
  3. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I think it's because of your porn consumption, but ... anyway ... try not to blame yourself for that. Try to relax and stay away of PM as much as you can. Let time make things clear in your mind.
     
  4. NeverTooLate

    NeverTooLate Fapstronaut

    I responded here to a person in a similar situation:
    https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/womens-underwear.259249/#post-2346363

    https://novagirl.net/the-psychology-of-sissy-porn
    (This might contain triggers for you. Use the reading mode, or don't look.)
    See the part '2. Why do men appear in my fantasies? Am I bi?'

    Imo it could easily be that you are transgender, look at this:
    https://www.genderspectrum.org/quick-links/understanding-gender/
    'A 2017 Harris Poll of millennials found that 12% identify as Transgender [the umbrella term] or gender non-conforming.'
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2019
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  5. NeverTooLate

    NeverTooLate Fapstronaut

    @fedmom I am interested in what you are saying. Where can I read more? I will read your thread.

    In the meantime I also found this:
    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19243704
     
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  6. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    Believe me man, for me it s just a fetish. I don t like to do feminine things, i never wore make up for exemple,because i don t like this thing, i just like sexy lingerie and sexy clothes , that s all. I don t like to shave my hair, i like to have hair on my feet because im actually a man. For some months now im going to gym, i like to exercise, i lift weights. Im not a transgender or these sort of things. i always turn me head after women on street, not after men. Men become interesting in my mind only when i put lingerie on. I can watch a video where a crossdresser or a tranny has sex with a man, but i can t stand a video where i see sex between 2 men. yes, it s true that i m an anxious person, maybe crossdressing helps me getting rid of my anxiety, and also the fapping does this thing a lot for me. But i want to have real sex with a girl. All i want is to be able to get erect with a girl and share my time with her. I m sure that if i would be able to have a girlfriend and i would stay with her in the same house, my fetish will be gone. My problem is that i try to avoid girls and getting into relationships because of the erection problem... im too embarassed to confess to a girl that i have this problem and that i m a porn addict and i like to crossdress. Give me some advice if i should consult a doctor or i just need to get rid of my anxiety , because how i said above, after one year of No PMO, when i was at that hooker i couldnt obtain the slightest erection, and that probably caused my relapse, or that was one of the reasons ( probably i said unconsciously in my mind that ,, if anyway i cant get erect with a girl, then what s the reason to continue with no PMO?") . Should i try nofap for longer than one year, should i consult a doctor?
     
  7. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    I'm afraid ... that will not happen. It's like saying that because your girlfriend likes pop and you love heavy ... you will stop liking heavy. There are some things that excite you ... accept it and continue trying to get rid of that anxiety of yours that is complicating your entire existence.

    I've never felt attracted to anybody from my same sex and I've never fantasized with men. But, once in a while, I've got excited with some sex gay video. That doesn't mean anything to me.

    And about the hooker ... I'm more than sure it was your anxiety.
     
  8. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    But it s not the same as a music genre, let s be serious... but anyway my problem is getting erect with girls in bed, and for me to cure this thing, as for many others from here ,is probably to abstain from PMO and thus from crossdressing because crossdressing leads to PMO in the end. If i crossdress, for me the streak is over. That s why i say that crossdressing is bad, because it makes me to fap.
     
  9. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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  10. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Status increases serotonin so it could help. Although now I think about it it probably won't make enough difference.
     
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2019
  11. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    @fedmom : I'm starting to love your fixation with serotonin. o_O

    I'm still not sure at all about the link between both. I don't believe that a rigorous study about the link between crossdressing (or any other fetish or mild harmless paraphilia) and any deficiency in the brain could have ever been conducted. Why? Well, because it's impossible to get a significant non-skweded sample. Nobody that crossdresses or does any other fetish and lives a happy life without any stress is going to take part of a study about his/her private and most intimate sexual life. Only the really fucked up (suffering from a fully-fledged depression and with suicidal thoughts) will.

    As you surely know, correlation does not cause causation, so ... could any fetish cause you to lower your serotonin levels and lead you to have depression and suicidal thoughts or is it because the depression and suicidal thoughts that you have lower levels? My personal opinion is that it's because of all the anxiety, self-loathing, negative distress and internal conflicts that come up when you try to deny and fight against that part of yourself.

    But maybe you're right ... who knows? ... who cares?
     
  12. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    Well, to me it is the same as a music genre. Do you know why you have your musical preferences or why you feel attracted by some physical features from girls? The same happens with this.

    Maybe your problem is that you're taking all this "issue" too seriously and that increases your anxiety a lot. I don't mean that you shouldn't worry about it, but that worrying too much only worsens the problem. My recommendation would be to look for professional advice and to practice meditation/mindfulness and go to the gym to lower your anxiety. I would also abstain totally from PMO and ... of course,as you mentioned, from crossdressing, as it could easily feed the cycle again.
     
  13. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    Well there's almost no other users getting to the root cause. And telling people that paraphilias are harmless is not helpful.
     
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  14. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    well ... the difference between you and me is ... you're telling what you think ...I'm telling what I've experienced first hand.
    Paraphilias or fetishes that only imply you have some uncommon likings ... are totally harmless ... unless you reject them and live in conflict with them. I think I told you I went once to a psychiatrist .. and she said it was perfectly fine. That was when I started taking it as something normal and acceptable.

    Anyway, I think the people involved on this forum is here to share their stories and tips that have worked for them (that was my only intention). If someone has REAL problems ... they should visit a REAL expert.
     
  15. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

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    I've just realized you were probably referring to me, not the author of the link I posted. This is just what I found out recently and it backs my own experience. Most psychatrists are not specialists in paraphilias so saying they are not problems is not correct. An easy way to tell if transgender or not is if you feel regret after cumming.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2019
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  16. CodeTalker

    CodeTalker Fapstronaut

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    Cross dressing seem really weird for me. If it’s associated with sissy stuff it does make me think of some kind of masochism. In any case that doesn’t sound healthy.

    What your mom would think knowing you still wear her clothes ? What’s your future girlfriend will think ? I think there is a reason why it sounds wrong in the first place.
    You should drop that like I’m trying to drop mine's

    One thing for sure, your life isn’t just your sex life. Even if you have weird fetish that may never leave, don’t let yourself defined by that, you are much more. Same with the virginity, who cares ?
     
  17. Staystrong2020

    Staystrong2020 Fapstronaut

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    I care man. I mean the thing with the virginity... knowing that there are so many girls out there that wish to have me in their bed and i can t perform because of the ED... its painful... I can accept that the fetish is a part of me, but the thing with the erection i cannot.
     
  18. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

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    He doesn't need to care about what about other people think.

    For me Cross dressing is strange too, but just because I dunno much about it.
     
  19. engelman

    engelman Fapstronaut

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    There is nothing much to know, @Nil1991 , you get aroused by wearing some women's clothes or underwear. For me other people's fetishes are also strange, so ... I understand it could be strange for others. The important thing, or so I see it, is that is not the only thing that arouses me. I don't need it at all, it's only something that excites me, that's all. And I don't see it problematic, btw.
     
  20. Nil1991

    Nil1991 Fapstronaut

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    Oh yeah, I understand.
    It seems that because it leads with sexuality it causes more drama than a feet fetish
     

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