Cruising parks

W

Wheretogofromhere

Fapstronaut
Hello, can anyone provide any insight on cruising for oral sex... possibly more than that? Would straight married men ever do this? No indication of being bi before but this is an easy release with no emotional connection.
 
I totally do not understand the question, but I want to answer. Could you rephrase it, please?
 
Sorry about that. These are public parks where men go to get a release from another man. Kinda like a brojob. A lot of these men consider themselves straight. These kinds of parks were more popular back in the day but they still do exist. Think about men’s bathroom stalls... tapping on the floor.
 
Wheretogofromhere said:
Sorry about that. These are public parks where men go to get a release from another man. Kinda like a brojob. A lot of these men consider themselves straight. These kinds of parks were more popular back in the day but they still do exist. Think about men’s bathroom stalls... tapping on the floor.
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Why are you suspicious of this?
 
Here is a little more info.

I’m not even sure where to begin. This is the closest group that I can relate to and am thankful I came across it.

I’m not 100% sure my husband is addicted to porn or whatever he may be doing. I have A LOT of gut instincts telling me something isn’t right. I’m not proud of myself the way I’vefound out but I did and now I have an idea of what might be happening.

Basically, I caught my husband visiting parks in our city where men can meet other men for sexualencounters. He lied about where he was or said he was going. I confronted him and of course he denied everything. Then why lie about where you are??

Sometimes he takes his iPad to work with him. This isn’t used for his job at all. Then I notice data charges under his phone number on OUR phone bill. He’s a very sexual person and I don’t really think he’s gay... perhaps a little bi curious but maybe he’s into voyeruism and exhibitionism.

I now know that I cannot confront him without hard facts and proof that he’s up to something but my intuition istelling me he is.
 
I am a married man and I have hooked up with many married men. People do this in their homes or at parks, etc. These hook ups have no emotional connection whatsoever and are usually pretty fast with the only motive of fulfilling sexual desire. It is basically like two men wanking together, no matter what their actual practice is.

Some married men who do this see themselves as straight even though they engage in homosexual acts. I think they live in denial about their bisexuality.

You have every right to feel cheated if your husband indeed engages in such activity without your consent. I can't tell you how you should act on your suspicion. From what you are saying, it seems like there is some basis for your suspicion.

If this turns out to be true, then --- I don't know whether this will make you feel better --- but your husband is seeking something which you simply cannot offer to him. He probably still loves you just like ever before but he could not resist in giving in to his homosexual side.

It is up to you whether you can forgive him for not asking for your consent first. Many people feel ashamed for their urges and also feel they simply can't come out this way. I understand that sounds shitty for the partner, especially considering there is a danger of catching STDs.

You have a real problem at hand and only good communication between the two of you will help resolve this issue. I wish you all the best.
 
BartlebytheScrivener said:
I am a married man and I have hooked up with many married men. People do this in their homes or at parks, etc. These hook ups have no emotional connection whatsoever and are usually pretty fast with the only motive of fulfilling sexual desire. It is basically like two men wanking together, no matter what their actual practice is.

Some married men who do this see themselves as straight even though they engage in homosexual acts. I think they live in denial about their bisexuality.

You have every right to feel cheated if your husband indeed engages in such activity without your consent. I can't tell you how you should act on your suspicion. From what you are saying, it seems like there is some basis for your suspicion.

If this turns out to be true, then --- I don't know whether this will make you feel better --- but your husband is seeking something which you simply cannot offer to him. He probably still loves you just like ever before but he could not resist in giving in to his homosexual side.

It is up to you whether you can forgive him for not asking for your consent first. Many people feel ashamed for their urges and also feel they simply can't come out this way. I understand that sounds shitty for the partner, especially considering there is a danger of catching STDs.

You have a real problem at hand and only good communication between the two of you will help resolve this issue. I wish you all the best.
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I think you are scaring her so much and being too dramatic.
The fact that you are calling her husband a bisexual in denial is so wrong.We got many threads here and all over the web of straight men who seek mutual masturbation or oral from men after a whole life of being straight.and they are not bi. That curiosity comes from porn consumption. Some men act on that curiosity on those cruissing areas and some dont.
In my case I acted upon them and gave orl ot men,but few weeks into nofap I went back to be repulsed by the thought of it. So yes there is hope.
And no I dont consider her husband is cheating,theres no emotional connection whatsoever with those sexual partners...if they can be called sexual partners at all.She shouldnt feel cheated.Its just a release just like PMO and we dont conider PMO cheating. I think her husband would not do it if it was cheating in his mind.in his mind he is still respecting her wife cause he is a straight man,its just a game for him. she shouldnt feel betrayed she should just help him deal with it.Warn him about the daners of that lifestyle,scalating etc
Your husband is probably more turned on by doing something forbidden and break his ordinary politically correct life..rather than truly be atracted to men. He is getting a dopamine rush thourgh that risky park scenario.
I agree that the STD risk is there.
You need to talk him into NOFAP asap cause yes theres a risk of him escalating to be a full blown homosexual over time.
The fact that you say he is very sexual says it all. ironically Its the high sex drive macho men like myself the most vulnerable to porn addiction and sexual fluidity.
Trust is everything. I think you shouldnt ask him.You should tell him that you actually saw him doin it.Cry if you can fake it. Maybe then if he truly sees himself caught up he will open up about it.
Ive tried t give up oral sex with men for years without success,I tried the hardest i could and I always ended giving head again..the only thing that seems to be working is NOFAP.
I feel like my oldself again with no atraction to penises.The memories are still in my brain though so I cant say I wont do it ever again but it surely would have to be while ina drunk state r something like that. I just dont feel atracted to do it anymore on a daily basis like befre. I used to think about doin oral to men all day long. My guess is your husband is on thhat stage. another option is accept that your husband is a bit freaky and let him know you would agree to some games or fantasies here and there. I mean its better if you as a couple bring a third person,no cheating involved and reduced STd risk.If you think you can accept it of course not every woman can.
 
hijodelaluna18 said:
I think you are scaring her so much and being too dramatic.

The fact that you are calling her husband a bisexual in denial is so wrong.

And no I dont consider her husband is cheating,theres no emotional connection whatsoever with those sexual partners.
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I have not called her husband anything. I have said what married men who hook up with men like me are in my opinion. I phrased everything as a "maybe". IF her husband is cruising... then .... whatever I said applies.

There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. I don't see how someone who is hooking up with same sex people not to some degree a homosexual.
I feel that people who are just homophobic simply refuse the label homosexual or bisexual. Many bi and gay people feel somewhat offended by that behaviour. People who hook up should at least show solidarity. It is ok that they remain in the closet, but insisting they are straight while they fuck men is just absurd and reeks of homophobia.

We don't know how the husband identifies, and that is not the real issue here.

Yes, the husband is cheating if he is indeed cruising. He is engaging in sexual intercourse without the consent of the partner. Agreed, there may not be any emotional connection in the cruising, but that does not mean the wife has no feelings about that behaviour. She obviously does.

I just explained something about cruising and married men who hook up. I do not mean to scare anyone and am sorry if I did, but she clearly asked for information on this.

I add to my information given that men who cruise but don't tell their wives probably don't tell them because they feel the strong sexual need but believe that the wife will never consent. So sadly they don't ask.
 
BartlebytheScrivener said:
I have not called her husband anything. I have said what married men who hook up with men like me are in my opinion. I phrased everything as a "maybe". IF her husband is cruising... then .... whatever I said applies.

There is nothing wrong with being bisexual. I don't see how someone who is hooking up with same sex people not to some degree a homosexual.
I feel that people who are just homophobic simply refuse the label homosexual or bisexual. Many bi and gay people feel somewhat offended by that behaviour. People who hook up should at least show solidarity. It is ok that they remain in the closet, but insisting they are straight while they fuck men is just absurd and reeks of homophobia.

We don't know how the husband identifies, and that is not the real issue here.

Yes, the husband is cheating if he is indeed cruising. He is engaging in sexual intercourse without the consent of the partner. Agreed, there may not be any emotional connection in the cruising, but that does not mean the wife has no feelings about that behaviour. She obviously does.

I just explained something about cruising and married men who hook up. I do not mean to scare anyone and am sorry if I did, but she clearly asked for information on this.

I add to my information given that men who cruise but don't tell their wives probably don't tell them because they feel the strong sexual need but believe that the wife will never consent. So sadly they don't ask.
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Its great that you wrote cause you are one of the gay or bi guys in those areas that meets married men who call themselve straight and she also has my point of view a man who calls himself straight and has had sexual encounters in those areas in the past.Ive explained my side of the tory and you explain what you think we are.
Im tired of talking about this subjet in chatrooms,eery gy or bi feels ofended if we call ourself straight.tey think we are in the closet...
To begin with we dont know if her husband is having intercourse.Many of us straight guys in those areas go only to recieve and or give head and I repeat we dont go there because we are secretly gay more atracted to men and dont want to admit it cause we are hommofobic.Of course there may be some closeted cases but for the most part its just a freaky secret lusty game..a xscape of excitement from the 9 to 5 job married Mr right boring life.I dont mean to ofend any bi or gay but thats just haw it is.Most guys going there would not trade their wife or gf for anything and absolutely love women.
If I was her...knowing the mindset of a married cruiser..I would not feel cheated cause for us its like M or PMO but thats up to her to decide.
Like I said Ive had this convo many times.And it seems to me as if gay and bi guys seem to look at it as...hey dont think that you are better than us you are gay too...and to me that shos lo selfsteem cause I dont think anybody is better than the other person being gay or straiht.But like I said if you reach lets say 16 and you dont like men you are straight.Anything coming after that is experimenting and its up to you how far you want to take it and up to you if you want to cross all the way to the other side and stop having sex with women. But calling a 40 married man who seeks a BJ in a cruise area by a man ocasionally gay or bi is toofar streched.
Anyways anybody wanting to stop those recurrent cravings needs to o nofap hard mode,it worked for me like noting else.Its not that bing gay or bi is bad,its just not who I am and Im not gonna alow the porn industry to change my sexual preferences behaviors.Mybe cause Im conservative and prefer to be straight? a big yes.If you prefer to be gay or bi good for you.
dont understand the interest in labeling people as gay or bi...what do you guys get from it? you talk about solidarity as if it was a cause and you needed support..nobody supports an straight man.just live your own sexuality freely and dont label others.Not everybody has to carry your label or feel the way you do.people go to cruise areas for diferent reasons sexuality is not black or white.
many many straight guys start goin cause 1 its free compared to 20bucks for a BJ from a female,2 its fast you need to take a girl on a date once or more times in order to have sex so its time consuming and money consuming 3 its dark discreet and no strings atached so its a btter option than having a side cheek that you text to and meet in the open that your wife may find out..4 its against the law so its exciting 5 you dont feel bad about it cause its a quick release witout feelings involvd not a side relationship
 
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My prediction is that in the near future more and more women will find it difficult to keep their man by their side cause the power of women over men is sex,once men start to give mutual oral hassle free their power will be gone.
In my town it has escalated so much that its becoming easier meeting a girl from a chat room than meeting a guy to give him oral.Everybody is desperate over the internet tryng to find D. its crazy.If all the girls knew what their boyf are doing in the low...
 
I can't agree this is normal and I think it is problem if your husband secretly blow other guys. He could always discuss that idea with you and invite other guy or something. I know he can feel ashamed, but you should not accept such things. He is lying to you and don't even think about stopping it.

For PMO addicted guy, even straight, novelty is exciting. Such guy don't need to be aroused by other males, but he is aroused by totally new, fresh and pervert situation. It does not mean he is gay, but does not mean he is not cheating as well. I think you should talk with him immediately, because he has a problem, which affects your marriage.
 
Wheretogofromhere said:
Hello, can anyone provide any insight on cruising for oral sex... possibly more than that? Would straight married men ever do this? No indication of being bi before but this is an easy release with no emotional connection.
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Hi wheretogofromhere,

I believe we connected on a different conversation. I too have done what your husband does. To be honest, I feel like I am hearing about myself.
 
GaryMayor said:
I can't agree this is normal and I think it is problem if your husband secretly blow other guys. He could always discuss that idea with you and invite other guy or something. I know he can feel ashamed, but you should not accept such things. He is lying to you and don't even think about stopping it.

For PMO addicted guy, even straight, novelty is exciting. Such guy don't need to be aroused by other males, but he is aroused by totally new, fresh and pervert situation. It does not mean he is gay, but does not mean he is not cheating as well. I think you should talk with him immediately, because he has a problem, which affects your marriage.
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Why do u assume that if he is going to these parks he is blowing guys? This husband is a porn and sec addict with a high sex drive which means he has esculated to being excited over deviant sex acts. This really isn’t a gay/straight thing. He is attracted to perverts. He isn’t going for a guy mouth on his knees behind trees, he has reached a point that deviant acts arouse him. I bet the excitement for him is going to the park and looking around and if he annonmysly sees an opportunity there are no words and they may not ever make eye contact. He gets his release and when it’s over he zips up and races away. No interaction and probably couldn’t identify the person in a lineup.....it’s the same high u get with a gloryhole... it will never stop unless the place gets raided and activity stops. Biggest worry for the wife is high risk of STDs and that is the conversation she should have where it might sink in
 
Devilinme2 said:
Why do u assume that if he is going to these parks he is blowing guys? This husband is a porn and sec addict with a high sex drive which means he has esculated to being excited over deviant sex acts. This really isn’t a gay/straight thing. He is attracted to perverts. He isn’t going for a guy mouth on his knees behind trees, he has reached a point that deviant acts arouse him. I bet the excitement for him is going to the park and looking around and if he annonmysly sees an opportunity there are no words and they may not ever make eye contact. He gets his release and when it’s over he zips up and races away. No interaction and probably couldn’t identify the person in a lineup.....it’s the same high u get with a gloryhole... it will never stop unless the place gets raided and activity stops. Biggest worry for the wife is high risk of STDs and that is the conversation she should have where it might sink in
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Is it really matter if he give or receive a head? The same thing. It is not okay. I understand what he is feeling, but addiction is not excuse. Nevertheless I get that he can be unable to stop by himself and this is why I suggest sincere talk and finding for solution together. I think his wife don't need to allow such things. I would not allow if my partner had been doing this.
 
BartlebytheScrivener said:
I am a married man and I have hooked up with many married men. People do this in their homes or at parks, etc. These hook ups have no emotional connection whatsoever and are usually pretty fast with the only motive of fulfilling sexual desire. It is basically like two men wanking together, no matter what their actual practice is.

Some married men who do this see themselves as straight even though they engage in homosexual acts. I think they live in denial about their bisexuality.

You have every right to feel cheated if your husband indeed engages in such activity without your consent. I can't tell you how you should act on your suspicion. From what you are saying, it seems like there is some basis for your suspicion.

If this turns out to be true, then --- I don't know whether this will make you feel better --- but your husband is seeking something which you simply cannot offer to him. He probably still loves you just like ever before but he could not resist in giving in to his homosexual side.

It is up to you whether you can forgive him for not asking for your consent first. Many people feel ashamed for their urges and also feel they simply can't come out this way. I understand that sounds shitty for the partner, especially considering there is a danger of catching STDs.

You have a real problem at hand and only good communication between the two of you will help resolve this issue. I wish you all the best.
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Way over the top. You don’t even know anything is going on yet.
 
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