Crush said what I feel for her isnt love.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Potato93, Jul 10, 2018.

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  1. TheCrazyThingIs

    TheCrazyThingIs Fapstronaut

    LOL wait a sec my g,

    She says she is not into you? That she will NEVER be into you?

    THAT is the end. Okay? That is when you STOP. That is when it ends. It is over, yeah? She said she will never be into you?
    Okay, so, you have two options from here;

    Number one;
    You continue to pursue a woman (*CONSENSUALY*) THAT IS CLEARLY NOT INTERESTED and you end up not being able to get over her, and so you waste your entire live, everything that you are and could have been, on a woman that will never be with you and is only using the word "Maybe" in order to drag out your love for her so you love her forever and waste all your energy for her only to die a miserable, bitter old fuck with know hopes or dreams other than the woman you WILL NEVER HAVE

    Nuber two:
    You continue to pursue a woman (*NON CONENSUALY) in which you get arrested and waste your life in jail, OR live your life in extreme guilt for the horrible crime you commited, and thus cannot form new relationships, have sex, form friendships, love anyone, until you get toward the end of your life and decide fuck it I might aswell kill someone now considering I have already done the worst crime that someone can commit to another human being might aswell display their corpse in a serial killer fashion? And who knows you might be so warped up by porn and "WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN" feelings that you actually end up displaying your corspses in devil worshiping symbolism in order to shoke those of the "NORMAL" mentality, because you feel like you are beyond that, but instead you have regressed into the animalistic beahviours that humans grew beyond, and hoped to better in order to achieve the next step in evoultion, well done you set back out race by another ten years you idiot.


    <3 <3 Love you my g

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  2. TheCrazyThingIs

    TheCrazyThingIs Fapstronaut

  3. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

    Lol, thats not my experience, I was answering from what the other guy told me... no need for all that drama. ahah
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
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  4. TheCrazyThingIs

    TheCrazyThingIs Fapstronaut

    I am sorry I am sure you are a good person judging by the boat in your siggy. Obviously anyone with a boat in their siggy is truly invulnerable to any criticism because they are NOAH and deserve the UTMOST respect because GOD SAID SO.
    (Genuinely all jokes (whatever they are... I mean, what is a joke? I am unsure to be perfectly honest (This is genuine please tell me what I joke is I have no fucking clue people tell me "jokes" all the time and IDFK what they are on about) I like your boat)

    pls pls pls <3 <3

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  5. Eleanor

    Eleanor Moderator Assistant Staff Member Moderator Assistant

    Ask her then: What's love for you then?
    It might be a misunderstanding. "Love" definition might vary, but Love definition is unique. So, maybe she understands Love as "Love".
    I think that you might reconsider your feelings upon her if your definitions aren't similar because that may lead to a lot of misunderstandings. It might not work out. Blessings!

    Attached Files:

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  6. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Some red flags going up in regards to the user TheCrazyThingIs . . . Hmmmm.

    Anyway back on topic, to the OP, time for some home truths. You're a insecure pathological liar - here's why. . .

    1. I am telling you what love and infatuation is, and you may disagree with me. Either way it doesn't affect the truth. You are infatuated. Meaning your emotions are mutually EXCLUSIVE. She does not feel this way about. LOVE (the non platonic definition) is strictly a two way thing.

    I always chuckle when the term 'unrequited love' is bandied about the interwebs. Really it should be 'unrequited infatuation.'

    Take the time out to go away and honestly ask yourself do I really, really love this girl? Or do I just want to get some action, and a relationship would be a welcomed after thought. The TRUTH is, for you and most guys, in your situation, you are experiencing the latter.

    2. Strip this girls beauty and you do NOT love her, hell if she lost all her hair and teeth you would run a mile.

    LOVE is when such a thing like this happens but you still LOVE and care for her.

    ^You think that's an unrealistic scenario? NO, when cancer touches someone in a long term relationship your love for that other person overshadows ALL physical deficits. That right here is LOVE.
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2018
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  7. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    I appreciate leaving it as that is rather unhelpful to the problem at hand however, so I will later add some useful ways / behaviour patterns to experience 2 way love.

    You want a relationship, nothing wrong with that, you're just going about it wrong. . . to be continued.
  8. Maybe "destroys any chance" was a bit too nihilistic, but in the context of.....asking a girl out that hasn't given you any signs that she's into you? It definitely dampens the future possibility of a friendship maturing into a love interest. Maybe if you didn't play your hand too soon, maybe she would've seen you for the great guy you are, but since you brought it up before she could get to that point, now the odds are against you.

    Before you asked her out, you were just some guy. You may have seemed like a nice person, but in her eyes, you didn't spur any sort of romantic interest.

    Now that you asked her out.........there's still no romantic interest.........and now you might have came across as desperate.

    And that very well could be a misjudgment on her part. She could've just seen the desperation and didn't bother to think maybe there's a Prince Charming behind it all. She's definitely not above getting things backwards, but it doesn't matter whether she was right or wrong in her logic. She said she'll never be into you. End of story.

    Do what you gotta do to get over and get on with it, cause this one is probably gone for good.

    ......and now for the good news......

    You ever heard that cliche about there being more fish in the sea?


    She'll generally give you some clues that she's into you, but if she doesn't (or if you miss them (no disrespect, it just happens))....................shoot your shot, appear confident, and if it doesn't stick, then try with someone else.

    PS - The thing to remember with confidence? It's not so much about knowing whether the other person will like you, but not caring if they do or not.
  9. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Yeah kind of a poor elevator pitch.

    'I'm in love with you, I would travel thousands of miles just to see you smile. P.S Wanna go out with me?'

    If a car salesman, tried to pitch you a car that was worn and tired, broke down a shit tonne of times, but if you purchased it, it might just start running like the wind. Would you buy into that?

    ^Raise of hands anyone, c'mon now don't be shy.
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  10. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    Love means not needing to own or control somebody for your own selfish needs.

    She's either interested or she's not.

    Were you clear with your intentions? Did you ask her out on a date? Whether she accepted or rejected you, this is the way forward in reality.

    It's only a crush or unrequited love if you care more about your needs than what she wants. Meaning you're not moving on (if you took any action at all in the first place) because you want to own or control her rather than respecting her decision and what she wants.

    Anybody can throw around wild declarations of love and do grand gestures to prove your love towards someone, but not many actually try to setup a date to see if there's actually something real there and respect whatever decision they make.
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  11. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    Great post @elevate. After having been at this point multiple times, I came to the conclusion that love is more about a relationship than a person. Thus, it is something you create together, and yes, such a thing as "unrequited love" does not exist, only unrequited emotional needs do, or unrequited hope for the imagined meeting of emotional needs, while you might come to realize that once you finally get what you wanted, it does not make you as happy as you hoped for, and you will keep searching and feeling empty nevertheless, until you realize you have been lying to yourself all along, and you in fact just need to get your sh*t together. As I said, I am speaking from experience here. Hollywood movies and stupid love songs certainly play a role in these common miconceptions.
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  12. Theultimatefighter_21

    Theultimatefighter_21 Fapstronaut

    It is love, and in one of the most pure stages.

    Maybe she wasn't into you really, or maybe she cannot understand the real meaning of your love, she thinks it's just aa weak passion, or lust, or even that you're lying, but believe me, it is love, and one of the purest loves.
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  13. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

    If that is what love is, love is entirely about circumstances. In your life you will probably come across thousands of women you would "fall in love" with if you met them within the right circumstances. There are probably hundreds, at least dozens of women which you would have been able to date, had you always been in the perfect mood and with a good attitude, and which you would have "fallen in love" with just as "deeply" as with the contingent girl who will make you happy forever once you are with her.

    If you make love entirely dependent on the person (instead of the relationship, as I stated above) there is a higher chance you will break up once there are a few problems. Moreover, no matter how much you love someone: Statistically seen, it is quite unlikely that you end up in a relationship with the perfect woman for you in your life at all, as there are billions of people and you'll only get to know a few thousand at best. So you always have to prepare that you will come across a better one, and for the sake of love you would feel inclined to leave your girlfriend as you'll realize you love someone else more.

    If you make love mainly about the relationship - not with the perfect woman, but simply with a good woman - you don't want to break up, because this would ruin the relationship (unless the relationship has been ruined before - not gonna exclude that this might happen). In the relationship, she will be your one and only, as your relationship is your one and only. If you hadn't come across her or if she had already been married the day you met her, it's fine - you look for another woman, you will find another woman, and because you make love about the relationship, you will be just as happy with her. If you go about it assuming that love is only created when a relationship is there - and before, there's only interest - you are also less likely to fall into the trap of clinging to an image of the person (which you created in your mind) instead of the person herself, because there is no necessity to cling to anything.

    Another love, which is not about circumstances, is the love for god. Christians were wise enough to separate worldly/sexual and spiritual love from each other. Hollywood and love songs treat worldly love as if your lover was not only your lover, but god, too.
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  14. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

    The danger of seeing love as something equal to infatuation or excitement, is that those feelings aren't constant. Especially in a long term relationship.

    Just because you love somebody doesn’t mean you should be with them. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who doesn’t treat us well, who makes us feel worse about ourselves, who doesn’t hold the same respect for us as we do for them, or who has such a dysfunctional life themselves that they threaten to pull us underwater and drown with them. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who has different ambitions or life goals that are contradictory to our own, who holds different philosophical beliefs or worldviews or whose life path merely weaves in the opposite direction at an inopportune time. It’s possible to fall in love with somebody who sucks for us and our happiness.

    This is the definition of a toxic or unhealthy relationship: people who don’t love each other for the person they are, but rather love each other in hopes that their feelings with each other will fill some horribly empty hole in their soul.

    What most people define as love is really just an extreme form of self centered and desperate neediness. It's immature, inexperienced, and impatient.
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  15. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

    This forum section is for people who feel alone and are extremely insecure. Simply dropping the word "confidence" in here is far from being empathic at all.
    Think twice before spitting what you guys call "reality" over the face of someone just because you think what happened to me is similar to your backstory. Im the OP, and I'd really like some of you to stop over rationalizing this thread or saying "just move on" or "accept she never will be into you" nonsense.

    People post here in a hope to get better and feel secure, not to internalize other's already fucked up insecurities.
    This forum is good sometimes but if you dont take care you can read some extremely toxic shit.

    Im requesting this thread to be closed.
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2018
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  16. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Don't worry buddy, we empathise with you in the sense we've all been there before and got the T-shirt.

    The important thing is how you move on from here good luck!
  17. Potato93

    Potato93 Fapstronaut

    Thanks! I wish you never get to move on from yours and stick your whole life around this forum!
    Get cancer!

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  18. tweeby

    tweeby Banned

    Here's a little after thought for @Potato93

    Realise right now, while you're sobbing into your pillow, SHE is definitely NOT thinking about you, well she might be telling her friends about this creepy guy that suddenly told her he was in love with her and wanted to travel thousands of miles to see her smile.

    And all her friends will be chuckling oh so very hard at your expense, whilst painting their toenails. Hell, she might even be with her boyfriend who is giving her a foot rub? Who KNOWS?

    It really isn't a nice thought, but believe me, this is HAPPENING right now.

    What you must do, is pull your head from the dirt, clearly you have NO clue about LOVE. I recommend the following exercise. This can be completely at leisure. Go to a mirror and pull down your pants. Make a cup with your hands and feel in between your legs. If executed correctly you should find two egg shaped objects down there. Give them a little squeeze to make sure they are yours. Now Please Start using them.
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