Crying

N

nevergonnarelapse

New Fapstronaut
Today I cried because I realised how out of touch I am with myself and I started to feel ashamed because of it. I'm not living the life that I want to live and I don't even know what kind of life I want to live. I just feel so small compared to everyone else. It just seems as though everyone else has something that makes them happy whereas I don't. I feel as though I'm not good enough to fit into society, as though I pretend to be special when I'm really just a fraud. I feel as though everyone is looking at me and judging me because of how much of a fool I make of myself by trying to understand the world. It's as if I shouldn't be in the world because I'm getting in the way of other peoples' existence.
 
Hey man I know where you're coming from because I was exactly where you are now back in 2019.

If you can afford it and if you're really ready to get your shit together and face your fears I can tell you from experience the best investment that I've made was to seek help from a psychologist. We've worked intensely for a year and it completely changed my life 180. I've come to understand why I was feeling ashamed and not worthy. I've come to understand my history, my family and most importantly my true self, including a lot of parts of my self that were inaccessible to me because part of my unconscious. Once these parts are revealed, the shame will go away, the feeling of not knowing who you are will go away, you will start to be able to feel compassion for yourself.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm still struggling today with anxious thoughts, but I'm on top of it now. Sometimes I'm thinking "hell man what the hell are you doing, what are you doing with your life". Everybody does though. These anxious thoughts will always be there. It's all about learning to change perspectives.

If you have 5 minutes I'd recommend you to read a bit about the concepts of False Self and True Self. From your brief message I can tell (from my own experience) that you are NOT who you think you are (you are identified with a False Self, someone you are not). Your True Self is hidden, you cannot see it now. But once you see it, you'll feel more "whole", "grounded" and "confident". That's exactly why you think you're trying to "be special when in reality you're just a fraud". You are not a fraud. It's just that you haven't connected with your True Self.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_self_and_false_self#Characteristics

Again, I been there, I done that. It might sound crazy but it's grounded in science. The experience of discovering your True Self is quite something. It's difficult to describe, because your True Self has ALWAYS been, it's just that you're not connected to it. Right now it's as if you had been experiencing life through a black and white filter. Once connected to your real self, you'll see the full spectrum of colors.

If you can get assistance from a psychologist or a trained therapist I have great confidence you'll get better soon.
 
nevergonnarelapse said:
Today I cried because I realised how out of touch I am with myself and I started to feel ashamed because of it. I'm not living the life that I want to live and I don't even know what kind of life I want to live. I just feel so small compared to everyone else. It just seems as though everyone else has something that makes them happy whereas I don't. I feel as though I'm not good enough to fit into society, as though I pretend to be special when I'm really just a fraud. I feel as though everyone is looking at me and judging me because of how much of a fool I make of myself by trying to understand the world. It's as if I shouldn't be in the world because I'm getting in the way of other peoples' existence.
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Same.. Like when u look around and see everyone with a plan or alot of money or a great partner.. And ur just sitting doing what? I've felt and still feel this way.. I guess what gets me through is focusing on the next day and trying to improve and better myself.. Also graditude.. I think about how blessed i am to be born in a country with clean water.. Food in the supermarkets.. Cars, public transport.. My hands and legs are all functioning when some people cant even walk or breathe on their own.. Then i start to feel a little better.
 
nevergonnarelapse said:
Today I cried because I realised how out of touch I am with myself and I started to feel ashamed because of it. I'm not living the life that I want to live and I don't even know what kind of life I want to live. I just feel so small compared to everyone else. It just seems as though everyone else has something that makes them happy whereas I don't. I feel as though I'm not good enough to fit into society, as though I pretend to be special when I'm really just a fraud. I feel as though everyone is looking at me and judging me because of how much of a fool I make of myself by trying to understand the world. It's as if I shouldn't be in the world because I'm getting in the way of other peoples' existence.
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Bro fuck what other people think. People will always be judgemental and stupid. Stop this victim mentality. I was like you last year. You wanna get tattoos, get them. You wanna go to a strip club, do it. Stop judging yourself so much. Give yourself permission to exist. Let loose and find happiness!
 
LordSinclair said:
Bro fuck what other people think. People will always be judgemental and stupid. Stop this victim mentality. I was like you last year. You wanna get tattoos, get them. You wanna go to a strip club, do it. Stop judging yourself so much. Give yourself permission to exist. Let loose and find happiness!
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Ahah exactly. The funniest thing is that other people probably don't even think about you. And if they are, in reality it tells something not about you but about themselves. It's not personal most of the time.

Like Sinclair said, stop judging your self because you are your own mental bully :). To "stop judging your self", you need to understand what it means not at a cognitive level (everyone get it) but at an emotional level. Would you treat best friend like you treat yourself? I don't think so :)
 
Optimum Fortitude said:
Hey man I know where you're coming from because I was exactly where you are now back in 2019.

If you can afford it and if you're really ready to get your shit together and face your fears I can tell you from experience the best investment that I've made was to seek help from a psychologist. We've worked intensely for a year and it completely changed my life 180. I've come to understand why I was feeling ashamed and not worthy. I've come to understand my history, my family and most importantly my true self, including a lot of parts of my self that were inaccessible to me because part of my unconscious. Once these parts are revealed, the shame will go away, the feeling of not knowing who you are will go away, you will start to be able to feel compassion for yourself.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm still struggling today with anxious thoughts, but I'm on top of it now. Sometimes I'm thinking "hell man what the hell are you doing, what are you doing with your life". Everybody does though. These anxious thoughts will always be there. It's all about learning to change perspectives.

If you have 5 minutes I'd recommend you to read a bit about the concepts of False Self and True Self. From your brief message I can tell (from my own experience) that you are NOT who you think you are (you are identified with a False Self, someone you are not). Your True Self is hidden, you cannot see it now. But once you see it, you'll feel more "whole", "grounded" and "confident". That's exactly why you think you're trying to "be special when in reality you're just a fraud". You are not a fraud. It's just that you haven't connected with your True Self.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_self_and_false_self#Characteristics

Again, I been there, I done that. It might sound crazy but it's grounded in science. The experience of discovering your True Self is quite something. It's difficult to describe, because your True Self has ALWAYS been, it's just that you're not connected to it. Right now it's as if you had been experiencing life through a black and white filter. Once connected to your real self, you'll see the full spectrum of colors.

If you can get assistance from a psychologist or a trained therapist I have great confidence you'll get better soon.
Click to expand...
I totally agree. You should talk to a trained professional. This also helped me in the past and it changed my life
 
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