Cuckold thoughts and porn addiction. Please HELP. Literally dying for help ...

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by saand420, Aug 4, 2021.

  1. saand420

    saand420 New Fapstronaut

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    This may be a slightly long read but it’s because i want to let you know all the details as I’m in DIRE NEED for HELP. So I’m a brown guy around 22, Pretty muscular and a handsome dude. I’ve never had any issues flirting with and picking up girls. In fact they’ve even admitted to me that I was intimidatingly attractive. However for the last couple years (not many chances to get laid) I’ve been into watching cuckold porn which gives me peak erections.

    A year ago I had a relationship with a nice girl who loved me with everything. Because of me being used to cuckold porn, I wasn’t able to get peak erections during sex like before but still managed well and she even claimed that I was amazing and her best in bed right from our first hook up. I have strict parents and they had made me travel away and live with them for a while because of my partying and sexual encounters. And on top of that It was also difficult to get back as the pandemic made International traveling harder. We continued dating long distance for a year until she couldn’t handle anymore with me being unable to head back. So we broke it off peacefully and I even realized I was with her for the emotional support she gave me during this depressing period (parents, etc) rather than fully being in love with her.

    Now I am finally about to leave my parents place after securing a job and am happy about it. But the issue was that during these 6 months after breakup, I can’t stop masturbating to thoughts of her with other men. Moreover living with such controlling parents I haven’t been able to hook up or rebound with anyone else either. Meanwhile she’s hooked up with tons of dudes and I can’t stop picturing it when I masturbate. I started watching small penis Cuckold porn (sph) even when I’m pretty hung and have been called the biggest they’ve had by multiple lovers. My mind has become disgraceful and I cry when I’m in my senses!!! Now that I’m finally leaving my parents, I am afraid how my sexual encounters in the future would be as what really turns me on now are cuckold thoughts about her or in general. I am sure I’ll be able to pickup women but am utterly scared about how I’ll perform sexually as it’s been over a year without intercourse.

    Also when I don’t masturbate for 3 days, I feel great erections during normal masturbations (imagining real life girls, celebrities, watching the usual normal porn etc) and don’t need cuckold porn/thoughts for my peak erections. So I guess the answer is to abstain from masturbating till my mind gets back to being turned on by usual things. But my issue is that the depression and boredom from living here forces me to masturbate for relief. Please please provide me with ways to abstain even during this boredom. And i hope there is a surefire way I can get rid of these thoughts?

    I thank you for patiently listening to my dilemma. I would be so grateful if you could offer advice on reprogramming my brain and not get distracted by cuckold thoughts. I absolutely despise them and I cry looking at how physically, I am attractive, muscular, good in bed and endowed but still my mind is reduced to these trains of thoughts.

    PS, Asian parents are a pain, especially when you lag behind a year in education. Thus the reason for them to keep me at home without distractions till I graduate and secure a job. Pretty depressing year and a half but I’m looking forward to the next phase of life soon when I can be independent
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2021
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  2. Spiritual Redemption

    Spiritual Redemption Fapstronaut

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    Hello brother.

    I identify a lot with your story. I see a lot of myself in you and what I was going through 3-4 years ago. I am not a psychologist or a professional by any means, but I have been in a similar space as you, so I can share what I've learnt and how I've managed to heal. For a long time I was so hopeless and crippled by fear, I doubted that things could ever get better. I feared that I was damaged beyond reproach. Take heart, the light within us can heal anything.

    I am sorry that you're in pain and going through this difficult time, but let me give you some encouragement. Things can get better, even if you don't believe it or believe in yourself. Although it might not feel like it, being in a place of this much pain is a good thing. Going through problems and experiences like this will force you to grow and evolve as a person, even if you don't want it or you feel you are not ready for it. I am going to tell you some things that you might not like hearing (I know I wouldn't have 4 years ago) but it depends on how you perceive it, and it's the truth. That is:

    There are no quick fixes. There are no easy answers, and there are no magic pills that are going to make your problems disappear. If you're looking for instant gratification, a pain free solution or to stay in comfort, you will not find it anywhere, trust me I looked.

    You need to understand that you have two choices: carry on as you are, which will only result in you continuing to experience the madness and pain that you currently are. Our problems do not go away, we must face them. The second choice is that you can commit to change. You can accept that you will need to put in a lot of work and effort in order to change your mind and to overcome these things. You have to be willing to change who you are as a person. No only do you need to change as a person, but your whole life needs to change. But that's an exciting concept isn't it? From here you get to re-evaluate, decide on the kind of man that you wish to be, and set a new vision for yourself. You are more than capable of becoming this person

    My story. I went down into a black hole of addiction. I went into the depths of sissy pornography. I couldn't stay off porn and masturbation, was cross dressing, and having sex with transsexual prostitutes. My life and my mind became a living hell. For two years I lived in constant fear, obsession, and paranoia. My mind swirling backwards and forwards: "Am I gay? No I'm not. Then why do you watch this porn and do the things you do? Come on, admit it to yourself. Am I trans? No I'm not! But look at the porn you watch, you cross dress, you must be....." It was constant mental ping pong that nearly drove me insane. I'm 6'4'' and 200 pounds. So having this war with myself and the thoughts plaguing me; the thoughts and sexual behaviour of a weak, feminine, slave, who desired to be dominated, consumed my life. I lived plagued by these thoughts constantly fighting the confusion of my own identity and sexuality. Trust me, it is a hell I would wish upon no man. This was especially painful when I had a girlfriend at the time. I was absolutely terrified of telling her the truth. Terrified that she would find out that this stuff lay within me, terrified she would use it against me. I stopped watching porn and masturbating, and through love and sex with this woman I felt myself beginning to heal. The fear and obsession wore me down because of the mismatch between my real sex life and intimacy with her, as opposed to my old porn habits, the thoughts in my head, and the things I used to do. Living in and fearing the past brought it into my future. I kept recreating it. When she broke up with me, I went back into the black hole of prostitutes, porn, and behaviour that had me in a place where I couldn't look at myself in the mirror. I seriously wondered for a long time if I would be permanently damaged. THIS IS NOT THE CASE. I have healed. I think very differently now, and my thought process about myself, life, sex, and sexuality has changed immensely.

    A couple of very helpful tools I've learnt:

    a) Know that most people struggle with the sexuality issue or some weird fetish at some point in their life. It is a part of being human, so give yourself a break, know that you're not alone, and that in some way shape or form, everyone is struggling with something in the sexual department. All humans have some kind of sex problem.

    b) It is a bit abstract, but try to follow me. If you start meditating you'll understand this concept. Try and stop creating rigid identities and perceptions of yourself. Allow your perception of yourself, life, and your problems to become flexible. The only constant is change. Things in life ebb and flow, and that includes us as humans. What might be the case now, may not be the case in 5 minutes, or 1 month, or one year. Whether that's an idea, belief, pattern. THINGS CHANGE. Try and not rigidly think of yourself as either this or that. Whatever you are, does it really matter anyway? Allow your thoughts and your behaviour to become fluid. If you do this, you can simply observe them as thoughts. You are not your thoughts. You'll no longer be constantly anxious when you're experiencing yourself as something you believe to be outside of the boundaries of what you are. So what I'm saying is: yes, I've been a sissy and a cross dresser, but that isn't who I am. They are things I have done, it is not who I am, nor does that have to be who I am permanently unless I become obsessed and fixated on this rigid identity, and thus I will always be trapped in that rigid identity that I create for myself. This fear and obsession does not sum up all of you as a human being, nor does it define your potential and who you can be as a human being.

    Several years later, having healed immensely, I can honestly say:

    That this stuff IS NOT who you are. What you are experiencing is simply an experience. Learn from it, grow from it.
    These thoughts and behaviour is the damage of pornography and the consequences of not taking responsibility for your problems or your life. Porn absolutely warps a persons brain. It is no joke, this is a scientific fact. Fortunately, our brains can heal and rewire themselves.






    I can give you all the advice in the world, but essentially the decision is yours. No one can walk the journey for you. You need to understand that you have to make a long term commitment to abstaining from ALL sexual activity. You need to give yourself time to heal. Stop all porn, all masturbation, and all casual sex for as long as you can. Many people say 90 days of no PMO, I believe that we need longer, especially if the addiction was severe. If you don't want to stop watching porn or masturbating, then sorry, I don't think that these thoughts will go away. Many men report issues with weird thoughts, fantasies, and fetishes. The evidence is that sufficient time away from them will cause the thoughts to stop, and this side of you to eventually die away.

    Also, if you abstain from PMO for a significant time, all your erectile strength and health will return, I can promise you that.

    I also used to be a party animal. I had lots of casual sex, I drank, used drugs, all of these things will mess with your mind and will interfere with your healing. If you truly want change, a happier life, and to stop being plagued by demons in your mind, you are going to have to sacrifice things that you like, but harm you. For me, I had to realize that this isn't just about stopping porn or masturbation, or getting rid of painful thoughts. It's about change. Building new habits, actions, and beliefs that will create a new mind within you and a new life.

    If you don't change, build a new life, new thoughts, and become a new person, all you're trying to do is not watch porn and masturbate, or trying not to think those thoughts. Trying to "not do something" is unwinnable, and fighting an enemy that you cannot beat will always lead you back to porn. I was stuck here for a long time. Years in fact. I wanted the pain of my porn addiction and its thoughts to stop, but I didn't want to change and build a new life.

    So here is something that's VERY important. Stop thinking about the cuckold thoughts. The more you judge your thoughts, label them, fear them, try and suppress them, or fight them, will only make it worse. The more attention you give them, the more it is going to manifest. This is a great paradox, but a profound truth that I can attest to. Once you stop fighting your thoughts, once you stop feeding them, they eventually starve and die. How do you do this you ask? Focus your attention on building a new life. Focus on building new habits disciplines and goals. Set a vision for yourself and the kind of man that you would like to become.

    "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new." - Socrates

    Right, first and foremost, before I give you a list of practical tools that you can apply, I would strongly suggest that you get help. I would never have healed, and I would have carried on running in circles in an endless amount of pain if I did not break down and get help. Remember that you really don't have to do this alone. We all need support and community in life. Where can you find that? You can get support an help at the following places:

    1. A professional therapist. I went and saw many psychologists and psychiatrists, for me they didn't help, but for most people, they can be life changing. If you haven't tried it already, going and seeing a therapist would probably help immensely. Have no fear, they are bound by confidentiality, and most of the ones that I saw have no judgment, an immense amount of compassion, and were able to talk me down from hysterical emotional states. So if you haven't seen one, this is probably a good place to start.
    2. The Nofap community. Get involved on this site as much as you can. You will find a lot of support here. If you're struggling, post messages, get friendly with people, and help wherever you can in whichever way you can. I cannot stress this enough. IF YOU ARE IN A BAD WAY LOG INTO THIS SITE AND TRY AND HELP SOMEONE ELSE ON THE FORUM. It doesn't have to be professional, but share your experience, try and encourage others, and you'll see how much it helps you. Addiction is a disease of selfishness. It's always about our own pain and problems, and we essentially drown in them. By helping someone on this site essentially it's an act of selflessness and sacrifice. By doing this, you can get through any difficulty, pain, or urge. We forget about our own problems by helping others solve theirs.
    3. If you are truly broken, can't stop watching porn, masturbating, and nothing else seems to be working, I would suggest getting help in a 12 Step fellowship. I know this isn't for most people, most people don't need it. A question to ask yourself is can you change on your own power? Meaning, the other tools should work for you. If they don't however, and if you're really powerless, and you want to try another way, you'll find all the support you need in Sex/Sex and Love Addicts anonymous. I am a member of these fellowships. They saved my life. You'll find people that have struggled with similar problems to you. You'll find help, understanding, and support. And you'll get tools for living that will change your life.

    Right, now the personal tools that will change your life if you apply them. I do these in conjunction with my 12 Step program, and they work miraculously together. The tools are:

    1. Meditation. I cannot stress how important this is. There is a reason this practice is at the heart of all spiritual traditions. It literally changes everything within your mind. Practicing this has changed my life, and given me an immense amount of calmness and clarity in my mind.



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwQkfoKxRvo

    2. Exercise. It doesn't have to be anything extreme, but find something that you can channel a good portion of your time and energy. Remember what I said about shifting your focus.
    3. Cold showers. Look up "Wim Hof." Cold showers will build your courage and your discipline. Discipline is absolutely crucial to moving forward successfully. They also wipe out depression and help immensely with your physical and mental health.
    4. Kundalini Yoga - This is completely up to you, it might be a bit scary to some, so only approach it if you're comfortable with it. It is however one of the most powerful tools I've ever experienced. Give it a try. It is a yoga technique to purify your sexual energy and thoughts. For me it calms me down, clears my mind, and changes my experience of life. Try this for a week.



    5. Mantra's - These are essentially ancient prayers that carry power within the vibration of the words themselves. These are predominantly used by Buddhists and Hindu's, but anyone can experience the power of them if they are used sincerely. If you're not religious or uncomfortable with it, then rather stay away from them, that's no problem. But from my experience when I use them and am disciplined with them, it absolutely destroys fear, lustful thoughts, and paranoid sexual obsessions.



    6. Focus on building relationships. We all need people. Addiction is isolation, addiction is disconnection. We need to be with other people, connect with them, and lean on them in difficult times. Cut the bad friends out of your life, be present and spend more time with your family members, and focus on being with people who build you up, care about you, and bring you joy. If socialising is difficult, you're going to just have to force yourself to get out there and spend more time with others.

    7. Set goals for yourself. Have fun with this and enjoy the experience. See this as an opportunity to reinvent yourself. What kind of man do you want to be? You have the power. You have the power to change and become whoever you wish to be. If you set goals and a vision, you'll have some direction, otherwise you'll continue wandering around aimlessly.

    8. Journal at night. You will have a lot less madness in your head if you write it out and put it on paper. It will also allow you to document your growth and put things into perspective

    9. Start living by principles. Take responsibility for your life. Only you can change it, and its no one else's fault that you are where you are. You are in control of your destiny my friend. So what will you choose? Also start telling the truth. I cannot tell you how much this will benefit your life. Relationships, happiness, and our own internal conscience will never be at peace if we lie.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzsQAsR1DcQ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7R-FUA0ZBJc


    My friend, if you desire to change, I have given you more than enough to set you on the right path. I am here for support at any time if you need. Send me a personal message. If you're really struggling and in pain, and you really desire to heal and change, I'm even willing to speak to you over the phone. I know the journey can seem scary, but it begins with the first step. Don't give up, you can do this! I promise you it gets better. I am now barely ever plagued with those old thoughts, and if they come, I have people around me to help me, and I can move through them quickly. I am a different person, and my whole life is a different universe compared to what it used to be. This whole process wasn't easy, it took time, and it took a lot of effort, but it was so worth it. Good luck my friend.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2021
  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Your self esteem is low. Find ways to raise it. Maybe that will help
     
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  4. my name is...

    my name is... Fapstronaut

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    english is not my main language , so excuse me if you see some sentences that are gramaticaly incorrect

    Look, I really can't relate much to your case, I also have a not very pleasant history with porn addiction, just like you, I want to quit with all my might, and I've also been desperately begging for help, I know what It feels like begging for help with tears in your eyes and morale on the ground and that no one comes to help you.

    So it was until my life was too precious to waste masturbating or watching porn, life is too precious to waste on something so insignificant.

    I would advise you to install porn blockers on your phone or computer, as for your thoughts, try to find a hobby that keeps you distracted and with clear thoughts outside of your addiction, for example, music, series, video games, relationships with friends etc. .

    convince yourself to give up pornography, there is more enjoyment in other leisure activities that do not involve ponography.


    Remember, the most important thing is not to give up, no matter how many times you fail, I wish you the best on your journey,

    I wish you luck
     
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  5. saand420

    saand420 New Fapstronaut

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    My brother @Spiritual Redemption, first off, I am at an absolute loss for words over your genuine, detailed, and most of all caring response to my situation. I am so thankful for the time you spent.

    I had enough of my depression and this addiction and made the account today just to post this and hear some thoughts for some mental alleviation. However, your response has done more than just that. Also I am overwhelmed with the number of responses I have received so quick. Had no clue or expectation for people to respond to me so caringly, but this forum proved me wrong. I thank everyone from the bottom of my heart.

    I am touched by the experiences you have gone through and by the way you have turned it all around. Your thoughts on keeping my mind flexible and susceptible to good change and growth will be forever resonating in my mind now, not just in this context, but in all aspects of life. It makes so much sense to me that I am worsening it for myself by making myself rigid and creating boundaries that often when I step out of it, I feel devastated and that feeds unnecessary attention to those thoughts. That, I hope to rectify and cease giving unwanted time and attention to insignificant thoughts. I understand that I am young and this is just a hiccup in my journey. However like you rightly pointed out, it is by no means a process to see fast results... I will persevere over time with all the resources you have bombarded me with.

    This mental depression is what is aggravating my pornography habits and I am happy that I will soon be away from the sources of my depression and be independent. In essence, my mental dilemma is due to my overcontrolling and over expecting parents (whom I admit to have disappointed but in no means in a disastrous way, basically delayed a year and half in graduating..). While my peers with lesser accolades and potential are able to enjoy life but responsibly, I am hindered from even doing that and that hurt my mental health a lot (for exmple: having the occasional drink with friends is a huge no, going out at night with friends is always looked upon with doubt, and my opportunities to meet girls are limited). But thats the issue in the society of my culture, where parents have expectations to uphold family standards in the face of society. I wont let that bring me down with the help of your advice on my mentality, and I will be independent financially soon anyway. Knowing my potential and my new found inspiration, thanks to you, I am sure i will overcome that mental state, which in turn exacerbated my sexual thoughts. (yes, what you put into perspective is so helpful in assisting in all walks of life and not just this sexual context).

    I am an avid gymmer (upto 5-6 times a week) but it was mainly an outlet for me to bust the stress and tension this last year, with the physical aesthetics and benefits being just a bonus. I will definitely add to my routine, meditation and yoga in the mornings to keep my mind relieved and away from distracting thoughts. (mornings were times that I succumb to masturbation, as during evenings my self esteem felt higher after gym etc.). My social life has been dry over here (I am not where most of my friends are, and also my parents doubt my activities outside) and that has been a pain but hopefully it will be fine when I fly out this country and begin my job. Social life definitely will improve my mental state, thoughts and addictions, Im sure, like you said.

    Venting onto paper and journaling my emotions sounds like a great outlet too. I will definitely begin that. I have watched quite a few videos on porn rewiring your brain, on the benefits of abstinence, and read multiple suggestions and advice from people on other forums. However nothing was as riveting to me to enforce a major change. But your personal anecdote of relating to me, and then your success beyond that is truly inspiring.. And your concerned reply and considerate thoughts from this community undoubtedly touched my heart. I shall keep referring to your advice and the helpful videos/resources youve attached thru my journey.

    But of course, overall the main short term goal to see my long term results is to abstain from masturbating. It feels like a tough ask when it is one of my only means of brainwashed "pleasure", but with the inspiration I've received from you and this support from the nofap community (to my honest surprise), I am sure I will persevere. Staying active on this forum through my new changes and journey seems like a huge plus now to me. Thank you so much for helping me begin to instill these ideas in me.

    Cheers sir. Cant thank you enough my brother
     
    TiaS, Spiritual Redemption and Ed74 like this.
  6. TrentBenjamin

    TrentBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    First of all congratulations on getting your own place, that's a huge accomplishment!

    Dude, we all get caught up on our exes from time to time, your heavy porn consumption mixed with the feelings and memories of your ex sound like they have intertwined. Like every heavy porn user, the more you consume, the more depraved the material gets to get the same hit.

    You said after 3 days you can start to get off to attractive girls and celebrities which is a great sign. I would urge you to get on a streak, if your brain is resetting that well within 3 days, imagine what benefits you can get from 30 days, or even more. When we are stuck in a pmo cycle, it's so easy to convince ourselves that no woman would ever want to get with us so I may as well just stick with the porn. I promise you dude, get on a good streak, start building some confidence and get started on some healthy habits and you will shocked by how many women take more interest in you.

    I would say to you, pick up some habits, boredom is the main factor to relapsing, it helps cover up the feelings of sadness, loneliness, or anything negative. Start to practice meditation to help you connect with your pattern of thought. Read up on some coping techniques you can use when the urges present themselves (and they will arise).

    In summary, get on a streak, pick up some healthy habits, hit the gym harder than you ever have and your life will change so much for the better. You've got this soldier!
     
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  7. sa33id

    sa33id New Fapstronaut

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    hello, this is a new user "saeed" , this is my day 0 .
    my main problem is that idk what makes me addicted to watch porn, I hate the porn, I hate these ladies but for some reason i don't know i still watch , do it , regret and get back for that circle many times till i fall asleep, sometimes i face that for day or two tops bur i always get fail ......
    what makes me feel more sad and sorry for my self is when i talk to my gf we do it about once a week ,
    " just talk and sometimes she asks me to send some photos for mine .... this is bad :("
    these days is the worst in my life. i has been 4 years of that addiction
     
  8. TrentBenjamin

    TrentBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    You are very welcome to your opinion, however, there's a great book called 'Your Brain on Porn' by Gary Wilson.

    I suggest you do some more research on the subject, the effects porn has on your brain are very similar to hard drugs, if someone is consuming multiple times per day, you can see why that behaviour can become an addiction.
     
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  9. RavenGT

    RavenGT Fapstronaut

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    Shut the f#ck up idiot

    GTFO this forum

    Stupid homer
     
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  10. RavenGT

    RavenGT Fapstronaut

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    I never watched P everyday

    I realized i had addiction when i wanted to stop watching it for good but always came back once or twice a month

    Addiction can also mean wanting to stop but wont
     
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  11. Asdor22

    Asdor22 Fapstronaut

    Man I see you makin a great progress when abstaining, keep it up! When bored or in mood for cuckhold I'd recommend cold showers and meditation..just google out Wim Hof Method my man!
     
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  12. sa33id

    sa33id New Fapstronaut

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    fu**ing idiot
     
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  13. Asdor22

    Asdor22 Fapstronaut

    could ya elaborate bro?
     
  14. TrentBenjamin

    TrentBenjamin Fapstronaut

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    Wim Hof method is awesome
     
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  15. modernstore99

    modernstore99 Fapstronaut

    Exercise, socializing, and spending the least amount of time in the places you PMO are the best ways to adhere to your reboot in my experience. Exercise makes you physically tired, takes your mind off compulsive thoughts when you train intensely, and recycles blood from your penis, balls, and pelvic area, reducing blue balls and physical arousal side effects. Socializing distracts you and calms the parts of your brain that desire connection and affection. You also release hormones that reduce dopamine flow. Spending time in areas where you do not PMO or cannot PMO helped me immensely during my first reboot. I was in school at the time, and would wake up at 7am, leave my dorm at 7:30am, spend the entire day either in class or in the library working (I would bring all my books and food for the entire day), get back home at 8-9PM, talk with my roommates for an hour, then sleep. Spend as much time at school or work as you can if you can't spend extra time with friends. I realize Covid has made this hard, so you have to improvise. If your bedroom is your normal place for PMO, don't do work in there or just stay out of there the entire day. Stay in open parts of the house all day if you need to, even sleep on the couch if you feel the need to PMO at night. The first 2-3 weeks are the toughest, so as long as you get it right the first time, consider this a temporary solution.

    Getting rid of the cuckold thoughts will take more time. But you can reduce their effect on you and how often they come up. To reduce their effect on you, you just have to accept for the time being that this is what turns you on. Sounds paradoxical, but just here me out. I was deep in sissy porn, which is very relatable to cuckold porn. Nothing turned me on more than the thought of getting tied up, forcibly dressed like a person, getting my penis locked in a cage, and then anally savaged by numerous men FOR YEARS. These thoughts never left my mind and were so incredibly terrible. For the duration of my reboot though, I just had to accept "Hey maybe this is who I am and this is what I like". Now you shouldn't ENGAGE in these activities, but when the thoughts come, you just have to learn to brush them off. Remembering that time a few months ago where I crossdressed and stuck a vibrator in my ass for hours? Hilarious. PMO to forced feminization hentai for months? Wow what a weird phase. Thinking of giving a blowjob to a guy at work who was mean to me? Sheesh. You just gotta take it for the time being and brush off the thoughts. Maybe they're what you want, but right now you're rebooting and can't deal with those thoughts. Do your reboot, and then deal with your cuckolding thoughts.

    Dealing with intrusive thoughts about porn is tough, but dealing with the same type of thoughts with people you know can be even worse. I'm truly sorry things didn't work out with your girl, especially during this tough time. In terms of having a relationship with her, right now is the time to pick up and move on. Due to simply geography there is no way a relationship could happen, so scrub that entire notion from your mind.

    On the account that you can't stop thinking of her having sex with a lot of guys, that's just the reality you need to deal with. People have sex. People you're into have more sex because you're into them and they're probably good looking. It's how the world works. Wish her well, and move on with your life. There is no possibility her having sex with other guys affects your life, so you really should not care. I apologize if this sounds rough and mean, but it's really good to move on here. The more you focus on yourself, your needs, and your relationships, the less you will care about her. Hey you never know, this could strengthen your relationship! For a while I was hooking up with this Tinder girl, but stopped when she told me she was hooking up with other guys multiple times a week (sometimes rather close to our times together). I got upset, stopped talking to her for a while, and couldn't stop thinking about her with all these other dudes. I just had to let go, think "She's having a great time with other people, I shouldn't be upset", and focused on hanging with the boys for a while. Months later she responded to a snapstory of me at a bar and told me to come over, and we were even better FWBs for the next few months! Take this as a positive experience for you to work on yourself in other areas of your life, and wish her well with all her human dildos. You'll feel much better about everything
     
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  16. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    sup buddy..

    been there, done that. 90 days hardmode will fix ya. make a concious effort to think about something else when these pop-up.

    make a list why you wanna stop PMO.

    pray to God.

    exercise, cold showers..

    it's a phase, with nofap and a bit of persistance it'll pass.
     
    RavenGT and saand420 like this.
  17. cresyhorse

    cresyhorse Fapstronaut

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    wrong forum buddy
     
    Asdor22, RavenGT and saand420 like this.
  18. Spiritual Redemption

    Spiritual Redemption Fapstronaut

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    I am sorry it has taken me this long to respond. My brother it is an absolute pleasure to help, and I am humbled by your generous words and that it has left you inspired. You have no idea how much this process helps me to deal with my own difficulties. It would seem that a law of the universe is: "whatever you wish for yourself, give it to another." I was helped out of the darkness, through the kindness and support of others, and if I can repay even a fraction of that debt and of what was so freely given to me, it will have been worthwhile.

    You seem to have a lot of self-knowledge, and you sound ready to begin to move forward towards your goals. Remember that action is the key to all of this. Be patient, persevere, and reach out for help. If you need support at any time down the line, reach out to me in a PM. I know that when I started withdrawing off porn and masturbation my brain played all sorts of tricks on me. My worst fears, doubts, insecurities came up, and I thought I was going mad. You'll experience this too, so don't panic. Just ask for help. If you don't give in and push through the pain, on the other side you'll find a breakthrough. The awakening and change I have experienced in my life by pushing through these times is priceless. Good luck my friend, truly, you can do this.
     

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