Cuckolding is my main source of sexual stimulation. I'm not happy about it.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Howff, May 15, 2019.

  1. Howff

    Howff New Fapstronaut

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    Exactly what it says in the title.

    Initially, I would identify with the "bull" when watching cuckold porn.
    A little over a year later, my mind flipped a switch.
    The idea of my significant other being fucked senselessly by someone taller and stronger is uncontrollably arousing. I hate every bit of that part of myself.
    I want cuckolding out of my system entirely. How should I go about pulling that one off?
    Any answers would be appreciated.

    P.S. Could my newfound kink be in any way related to the fact that an old girlfriend broke up with me to be with someone else? Chronologically, It makes sense. It would also explain my sudden change in role from bull to cuck.
     
  2. Welcome to the community.
    Porn use can lead us into many different genre's, this is one of them. Getting yourself rebooted is going to help tremendously, along with opening up to your SO.
     
    Zorglub and Blackjedireturns like this.
  3. Blackjedireturns

    Blackjedireturns Fapstronaut

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    What's up my friend sounds like a term called "escalation" your brain is basically getting num to the vanilla porn. And now it needs more shocking and extreme content to get the same rush that it use too. It's the same reason why straight guys get into sissy and gay porn.
    The best thing for you right now is staying away from P videos.
    Start your no fam journey . You can kill this thing.
     
    Deleted Account, Zorglub and Tryingto like this.
  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    You have to understand first that all "boy-girl" porn is literally cuckold porn - the woman you are sexually attracted to and want to f$% gets f by another man while you watch and masturbate. That's literally cuckold stuff. You "pick" a woman you like and "send" her to get fu$cked (by starting the movie) and you enjoy seeing it.

    Now, the stuff gets more complicated if it's a black actor and you're white (or vice-versa), because it's 100% you're not f#$ing her and any mental gymnastics you try to do to "believe" you're him are pointless. You can't ever be a black person nor can a black person ever be a white person.

    Which is why IR porn is worse than "straight" porn.

    I used to get drawn to cuckolding like you did.. being the bull, but the thing is 90% of cuckold stuff is black man as the "bull", so i involuntarily cucked myself. Fitting punishment really cause wanting to be a bull is also very degenerate.

    I would never actually want cuckolding, not even as a fantasy, but that's exactly what i was doing to myself every time I watched "boy-girl" porn and especially IR stuff (which is MUCH more common now). I realized that my turn on was not f$$ing a woman but seeing a woman get [email protected]$cked. Which is cuckoldry stuff.

    Yes, getting dumped like that may play into this as well, but watching porn will make things ten times worse. What you must never do is sexually fantasize about an ex (even if it's you as the male) because it's also tangent to cuckoldry.
     
  5. 6 years ago, a girl left me for another guy without warning, completely ignored me and pretty well denied the relationship, it was horrible. Worse still was finding a video on a tube site of her within a week of finding out, being
    fucked in the arse
    by said guy.
    That led to me being largely focused on that, when I had no real interest in it beforehand. I'd had many opportunities and was kind of intrigued but always passed it up. I had that awful realisation that she left in part because I wasn't going for it.

    I reckon it could well be so, like you're trying to work through the pain of that relationship ending by watching it over and over and over.
    I think you've made a good choice in coming to this forum. You'll find a lot of support and people who know exactly what you're going through, or at least from their own perspective.

    Nofap's bloody hard, but even just getting away from pornography in itself is a highly beneficial thing. I basically went two weeks, relapsed, said 'fuck it,' signed up here, got some very much appreciated help and honest discussion which has put me on a really beneficial path. The work's all up to me but the support is never-ending and almost instant, there are so many people posting here.

    WELCOME! Do the thing!!
     
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  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Your fetish is induced by porn as it you only got it by watching cuck porn. Stop watching porn and see if the fantasizes go away
     
  7. Dakshinamzrti, sry to hear that. Never was in a same situation, but I know that must have been so difficult. I can imagine the feelings u had. Suxx. Glad u over it!!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Thank you!! It really did kickstart a series of events which have led to me being here, posting this, and I have never been better. It actually led me to discover many years down the track that I've classically been drawn to women who really don't treat me well. As a result of all of that, I am a lot more aware of what a red flag is, and not to run towards it, particularly when there are many ;)
     
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  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Stop watching that shit.
    Next time you're going to bed think this: did i watch that crap today?
    If the answer is yes, you're deserving it all.
    if the answer is no, you made a little step.
     
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  10. Howff

    Howff New Fapstronaut

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    Quite the answer. And in case your wondering, I've abstained from all forms of porn for a little less than a week. I don't feel any different yet, but I've learned to not think about my old fantasies. Thank you very much.
     
  11. Good to hear, keep it up.
     
  12. PolarOtter

    PolarOtter Fapstronaut

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    Stumbled across this thread and it really has me struggling tonight... always imagined myself to be the willing cuck (in chastity) in a male trio. I do not plan to watch porn or touch myself, but again, wanted to document my struggle. It is frustrating how quickly you can be transported back to thoughts you are attempting to eliminate.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  13. And how. I started reading a recovery journal from a woman posting on this site and had to stop. Damnit, pornographic mind-taint!! Begone!
     
  14. Yes, woman reboot logs are triggerring. No go zone
     
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  15. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

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    Like what someone else said, it’s an escalation from “vanilla porn” to more extreme categories and genres of porn, I used to have this issue, I kept moving up to more and more shocking and extreme pornography to get off, until I realize just how sick I was when some of the things were too abhorrent to even mention here.

    You need to go cold turkey, forget about it.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  16. Howff

    Howff New Fapstronaut

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    I'm doing alright so far. Question, have your issues left you entirely, or are they just less prominent than before?
     
  17. Sharksvv

    Sharksvv Fapstronaut

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    They’re less prominent but they are still there, I am like an alcoholic I can’t have one sip at all. The key is to be able to control those urges, those things were like a monster in control of me and I have slayed that beast, that monster now answers to me, I don’t answer it anymore.
     
    oneotwo likes this.
  18. hitnmis

    hitnmis Fapstronaut

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    Had enough yet
    I would quit immediately if I were you
    Stay STRONG
     

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