Cybersex and anonymous apps

Dear all,
I'll be 27 April 6th, a trauma on dating app woke me up. I'm virgin.
I look for porn since I was 17.
On the last year's I used normal chats and anonymous chats like telegram, searching for porn.
PMO was a ritual action for me, when I found these chats I used for exhibiting myself or my penis for women (sometimes not consentient), transwomen and transgendered person.
On telegram I chatted normally with everyone, don't know if they were >18yo, obviously I didn't search for underage porn but I played with fire.
Now I'm on a psychologist afraid of everything, I have had suicidal instincts, I thought I committed crimes, that I am a sort of Jimmy Saville or that pedo guy in Black Mirror, I have a sort of amnesia of what I did. This quarantine is killing myself, but I'm seeing it as an opportunity for reborning.
Is there anyone like me here? A person who is tired of this crap and wants a new life?
Are you with me?

 

I've been to a psychologist, he helped me.
I searched on groups, on chats.
Now in Italy telegram is on a scandal, I'm happy for this. But now I'm thinking that I was one of these psychopaths of this scandal, even if I searched for >18yo girls.
It's terrible, I fall in these perversions These sites have to be closed forever.