So, I'm up to 8 days of no pmo. What a great feeling, something I hope to continue with for the rest of my life. My goal is to stop and never watch porn again. Despite this goal being reached why do things often still feel hopeless. I am just as suicidal as I was when I was pmo-ing close to every day. It's crazy, the cycle of addiction in an addiction-prone person. Addicted to porn, self-harm, food, alcohol, smoking, pessimism, isolation, suicidal ideation. Each one of these I have an equal addiction to. One will stop (mostly physical addictive behaviors), then another with start. It's a viscous cycle, seems to never end. How do I find something to take my mind off of these things? I've been trying music (uke) and it seems been helping a bit but I need something else as well. Why can't my brain just stop messing around, and just fucking shut up.