Today i won't do pmo again, because i want to recover as quickly as possible fron my mistake of yesterday and of this morning (3 relapses totally). I think i have learned something from it (i was stressed and rushed)... so i try to bring more ease & time (instead of rushing things) into my life. I feel sad because of the relapse.. like i can not trust myself, not sticking to princples. But on the other hand.. i believe the most healthy attitude to have i to learn from it, and to get back on track asap. I start more and more liking the image of the Buddha. Just sitting there.. letting be what is... just being aware & observing. I believe this is a mentality i have to adapt in times of storms, and just a general mentality of relaxing, not overcomplicating, not getting attached to all these mixed emotions.. just letting it be, not acting upon it. Day 0, no pmo today, because that is the best choice i can make. In essence, the answer to to all the many complicated questions i have lately, is just the simple: nofap.