Damn I am weak

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Davikch, May 17, 2021.

Just curious, have you used to watch erotic material with anime girls?

  1. Yes.

    12 vote(s)
    52.2%
  2. No.

    10 vote(s)
    43.5%
  3. I already ascended and it's too dirty for me.

    1 vote(s)
    4.3%
  1. Davikch

    Davikch Fapstronaut

    I like woman. I like drawn woman. Woman without many clothes are even better.

    It was just 3 days without masturbation, but I already have watched some porn/ecchi.

    I don't know, maybe it's just aesthetically pleasing to watch at female body. I am just lying to myself, I shouldn't be addicted to it if it was the case.

    How? How to get strength?
     
  2. Mr. Brightside

    Mr. Brightside Fapstronaut

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    When you are aroused, go run, do pushups, do jumping jacks, call 3-5 male friends one right after the other, or if you're still aroused call your mom/wife/sister/grandmother and ask permission to look at porn (it's weird, but it's a really good incentive to not look).

    Don't give up!!! It does get easier over time as you succeed. But you must work hard to stay clean. You can do it!
     
    Davikch likes this.
  3. Set small goals and celebrate small wins. Understand the strength of these addictions and trust the process. If you want to change strongly enough you will do so. Keep at it man.
     
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  4. Fishn1

    Fishn1 Fapstronaut

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    Women's bodies are beautiful, no doubt about it. But do you want your life to be about looking at them, or would it be better to focus on yourself and find some goals that define who you are without all those temptations? You wouldn't be normal if it didn't arouse you, but how about how you feel afterwards? I always feel like crap because they make me want to jack off, and when is it ever enough. Let's find a way to focus on something good for ourselves that will further us, not make us a slave to pictures and videos. They are not going to save you.
     
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  5. Camienard

    Camienard New Fapstronaut

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    Just accept it as a fact. There's nothing wrong with admiring a woman's body.
     
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  6. Mr. Brightside

    Mr. Brightside Fapstronaut

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    Lust -> Fantasy -> Porn -> Masturbation -> Inappropriate sexual relations
    Just saying :)
     
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  7. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    Of course it's aesthetically pleasing, few things look more beautiful to an heterosexual man than the female body, does that mean we should masturbate to it? What's the point? How does masturbating relate to enjoying the beauty of female body? It's because you've created a habit, a pattern: beautiful female -> masturbation. If you never had masturbated you wouldn't think that way, you would most likely go: beautiful female -> either seduce, or just move on with your day.

    So don't make excuses, finding women beautiful is in no way an excuse to masturbate, to me the way to get the strength is not to get strength per se but to gain understanding, once you understand that PMO won't ever give you anything, but instead will only take from you, that it will make you feel pathetic, ashamed, disgusting, have no confidence, etc. If you really see this then it won't be as hard. Then in the beginning you should probably use this forum a lot, read a lot here, read Your Brain on Porn, documentaries etc. to get extra incentive, understanding that will make you want to stop even more, you can also journal each day to have your mind really focused on this thing.
     
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  8. Starshower

    Starshower Fapstronaut

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    I feel like I'm in the minority on this but I never really found looking at an attractive woman arousing in and of itself. I often hear about how other guys will end up fantasizing about sleeping with a girl that they think is hot, but that hasn't happened with me. At the most, I'd get butterflies. The only time fantasies and stuff pops up with me is if I see something overtly sexual happening then the fantasies start to proliferate. I thought it might be because I'm a porn addict but apparently this even happens with other porn addicts, sometimes even more so? Also, that never changed even when I was on my 60 day streak, but maybe that just wasn't enough time. I don't know.
     
  9. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You aren't weak, we are all doing our best.

    As far as anime girls go yea I've fapped to it plenty of times. To be honest, I'm surprised that not everyone on this thread has. I thought most people did, and a form of porn addicts would have tried this at least once.
     
  10. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    I also noticed that M. without P. makes little sense for me, even M. wasn't that important. It was always about watching female bodies and faces. Even now, after so many days of no PMO and fantasizing, when walking street I am searching for woman bodies and faces. Even when I look down all the time, some radar inside me locates all hot bodies around. Will it ever stop?
     
  11. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Detecting pretty women is baked into being a man
     
  12. It's not about being weak, people who rely on willpower may have more of it but evidently they are using a more primitive part of the brain to control the behavior - for more on that see the quotes I posted in this thread.

    So if it's about insight rather than self control in the form of fighting urges only, (which only amounts to one part of yourself fighting another part of yourself) then how can we understand this phenomenon? I would suggest it is about ideal forms. In this case it is just visual, whereas in other contexts it can be more conceptual.

    But what I've noticed is there is a way even visual representations can be TOO perfect, and it just looks fake to me. This is not necessarily in a sexual context, although after watching a lot of porn I think many will be able to relate to how fake produced porn looks, or even so-called amateur which looks fake since they know they are on camera, but another example just on the visual sense is how when I look at really high def video it just looks fake as hell. It can be the exact same show but it looks 'more real' when in standard definition. I think this is like how fashion magazines airbrush pictures of models, and there's a certain tipping point it's just TOO perfect - and I've lived long enough to know that basically means fake, especially when it comes to people.

    So instead of framing it in terms of strong/weak and fighting urges, I would frame it as real/fake and instead of effort and energy and fighting, insight and perception is your friend.
     
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  13. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    I don't either, I'm extremely attracted to the beauty but I don't picture myself doing whatever sexual stuff with women I see, it sounds really creepy to me if people actually do that. Some addicts have issues when they use too much porn they don't have the desire to be sexual with women IRL, that's not my case, I would happily have sex, it's just not the first thing that comes to mind when I see attractive women. I don't know if that's what you meant.
     
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  14. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    [Sorry OP, but this is a response to responses.]

    Looking at women sexually, identifying curves for example, is purely due to societal influences. When it comes to P addicts, the factor of how women look in the videos also comes into play, but that is because of overstimulation, not because of our "nature". Our "nature" isn't to stare at women that look a certain way, our "nature" is to keep the species going, which we could really dial back on nowadays.

    We need to understood that when people say "the female body" they are referring to the " 'model' of a female body", the symmetry that is involved in such a person. Something about the shape of a "model" is pleasing to the human, not just men. But, that doesn't mean you want to have sex with that image, that part is programmed by society. Things that have a certain geometric symmetry in nature are also appealing and pleasing to all people (buildings, and things in nature that seem balanced, etc.).

    When people say "the female body" they aren't talking about all female bodies, they are talking about the highly fake one, the one exploited because of the geometry. This is the focus, not because it is "our nature" but because people have identified too much with the body. A link was created between geometry of women (fake model in media) and sex. What about other components? Pheromones, genetic compatibility, health, etc.
     
  15. Starshower

    Starshower Fapstronaut

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    That does seem to be the norm, though from what I hear. When I used to hang out with friends sometimes, and we'd see a hot girl they'd often talk about how they'd like to bang her and stuff. At first I thought it might have been anecdotal experience, but I even read about these types of thoughts on forums and male populated groups. I mean I'm sure 95% of them all watch porn, but I wonder if that even has anything to do with it. And same, I have interest in sex but I don't mentally undress and fantasize about women in a non-sexual context. Maybe it has something to do with me leaning toward a more demisexual orientation, which sounds sorta odd being a porn addict and all.
     
  16. Being that the visual stimulation is more immediate, I think that's why chat rooms fills this 'need' or craving for fantasy in the form of a role play narrative. I suppose from one perspective it is not just the idealization of the female form but the story, which is less the happily ever after than the lucky chance encounter between people who may not normally connect. In some way I feel like that's the basic lure of being online, because there are so many people on one level you might figure okay there's a better chance statistically, and on the other hand we want to tell ourselves it's really special when there's some willing participant. Of course, the actual content of the dialogue is hardly anything to write home about and would not be a pull if it weren't for the fact that is leading in a sexual way, but I grew up with chat rooms around a time when people did actually (sometimes) spend quality time getting to know you and talking about interesting things, these days it's way too scattered for me so it's like 1% of an occasional happening back then. I don't know if anyone relates to this slightly longer term narrative aspect but thought I'd mention it since you mention demisexual and on this general note of it not being only about the visual stim.
     
  17. MindfulWarrior

    MindfulWarrior Fapstronaut

    It might be the norm nowadays but I think if it is then it is only due to the current state of affairs of our society, TV, porn, cultural norms. I think if men do think that way it's because they were conditioned to think that way but I don't think they actually do visualize themselves doing anything to women just from randomly seeing them if they're not overly showing off their bodies that is. If they do, something went terribly wrong somewhere. I highly doubt men used to do this two/three generations back. I'm not demisexual, I would enjoy sex without emotional bond even though that'd be less satisfactory, I think if it is the case that men do that, then we've gone insane. Sexualizing everything, missing the point.
     
  18. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    I'm not sure whether my reactions are the consequence of P. addiction or natural men reactions. I am often overwhelmed when being near pretty woman or even woman of certain age (20 to 40). Sometimes I think it's like scrolling Instagram to find some hot pics - the so called p/subs.
     
  19. silentmike

    silentmike Fapstronaut

    It's often said that to start getting up, you must first reach deep bottom. How far can you go with your addiction is up to you. Some will scream for help when they get PIED. Some other when they lose everything they loved.
     

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