Dangerous. Be very careful.

I write this as a warning. I'm posting it here as i feel it pertains directly to the thoughts that can lead into a relapse.

I was just pondering how "i don't M anymore" which is one of the ways i maintain abstinence.

I reminded myself that 'when i encountered LP, i immediately became obsessed with it'.

Immediately after that, i thought of how intensely powerful the effect of this type of P had fueled my addiction, and the memory a particular scene entered my mind as a memory.

At this moment i caught myself before it went any further. I have to write this out as a reminder as to what can happen when i allow myself to think of "how much progress i've made".

Thoughts can come from anywhere and once they cross the mind, if they are reflected upon, can cause a tempatation chain reaction that is harder to contain the longer it goes on.

Despite my daycount, I must focus solely on today, not how long its been since my last PMO session.

Not only do i "not PMO anymore", but "i do NOT want to PMO anymore" and i must avoid all chains of thinking that lead to that subject. Especially when i am alone. I cant trust my thinking and i may actually think that PMO is a good idea, or that "i have to do it" just because.

For me, the only safe place to think about my recovery is within this community.

Stay aware and stay safe. Please.