Dating app addiction

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Danb339, Sep 14, 2021.

  1. Danb339

    Danb339 New Fapstronaut

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    I'm 27, and I've only had a handful of relationships throughout my life. Nothing very serious, but in the past 5 years or so I haven't dated anyone. Sure I've been on a few first dates, but they haven't gone anywhere.
    I have a tendency to get on dating apps every so often In hopes that I find someone. I think part of it is being alone, while another part is fantasizing of what could be. I can't tell you how many times I've deleted my tinder account and remade. This is how the timeline goes.
    I get very excited and motivated to meet someone, So I create a new profile or a login to an existing profile that I haven't been on in a while ( I mainly use tinder, bumble, and Facebook dating). I'll then spend about a week, Maybe two, swiping and matching with people sporadically. I don't get a massive influx of matches like I used to when I was younger, but that's just because of how these apps are set up with their algorithms. At some point it kind of dies down to the point of getting absolutely nothing. I could swipe on 200 plus women and not get a single match. And when I do get a match, it's typically a fake profile or someone offering some sort of SW services. After about 2 weeks of this, I end up just deleting my profile feeling even more lonely than before. Maybe I'm not lovable? I'm not here to say that I blame anyone for not swiping on me. I don't demand women to like me and I have never believed in the " sliding into the DM" method. I understand my boundaries, and I know that might be what's holding me back but I also don't want to Make people feel uncomfortable. I also struggle with meeting people in person and approaching women. It's not so much that I'm afraid of talking with women because I went to his school that was predominantly female and felt very comfortable talking with different women. It's just when it comes to taking the next step and asking a woman out or approaching a woman in class or in public. I feel like it's generally not allowed in today's atmosphere. I don't quite know who to approach and I'm not good with reading body language or expressions, So I tend to avoid it.
    So after deleting my profile I take about 2 to 3 weeks off, Maybe more or less depending. I then find myself right back in the same cycle the following month or so.
    Do any of you struggle with this? I know tinder is not great, and it's mainly a hookup app. But I know so many people who have found relationships on that app. Even if I don't find relationship, Just making new friends would make me happy as well. Let me know what you think about this!
     
    Renorylok likes this.
  2. kumarach

    kumarach Fapstronaut

    trust me buddy,i have been at the exact place in life's journey,what you need to do is self-introspect,ask yourself what exactly is it that makes you feel lonely or depressed.give yourself some time rn.Work on yourself,read more,try mediation it really helps to clear out the emotional blocks that might be holding you back from being your best self,take out time for yourself.some very personal time in which you detox,everyday,even if it just half an hour everyday or maybe just before sleep.
    get to the depths of your thoughts and feeling. acknowledge the harsh things that you don't wanna face,it'll be tough initially but helps in the long run.i have been through the process after my breakup,nothing helped more than telling myself that what has happened is behind me,it's the past. our lives must be lived forwards and understood backwards.people tend to interchange the two,which causes problems.
    it's like riding a bicycle,u stop or slow down suddenly,u fall,u look back and tread forwards you fall,you go too fast you fall.maintain a balance feel yourself understand yourself.
    and this is just a suggestion,nothing forced.try out spiritualism,helps a lot.all the best.
     
  3. BoraxKarloff

    BoraxKarloff Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for posting this. Not Tinder, for me, but another dating app catering to the type of woman I am attracted to, and the women looking for such men.

    I had a news feed that was well-followed, and had 39 or something following me (the women would typically get hundreds or thousands of followers)

    But out of the hundred or so "Hi!" private messages I sent, not one reply. Didn't matter how I approached. One big silent "fuck you." I started thinking it was me. Still, I was on this site on and off for about 6 years, always hoping something would come of it. I met one person, we had dinner and hugged and that was that.

    Then I started asking women out in person, they began saying yes, I began dating like a normal person and here I am. On Friday night, I took a woman out and the first thing she did after getting in the car was to grab me and kiss me and put her tongue in my mouth. YOW!

    Fuck apps.
     
    NoEdgingForever likes this.
  4. The Consigliere

    The Consigliere Fapstronaut

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    Dating apps have been annoying for me. I rather bet on myself than an algorithm that simply isn't getting it right for me. So if anyone here is like me, I'd go the "old fashion" route and take my chances that way. Even if it's a bit more daunting.
     
  5. kumarach

    kumarach Fapstronaut

    i agree and also,in the former case we have the complete control over the process rather than (in some cases) being vulnerable to phishing and fake convincing ids
     

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