Dating app

Hey, guy! Thanks for posting and congratulations on your nearly 2-month streak, with no necessary end in sight! We're no doubt all impressed!

So, about your question. Neurological issues aside, porn addiction clearly masks emotional and social issues and/or gaps in our life and I've never been one to think that the reestablishment of physiological health means that the rest will automatically sort itself out. (I do not think that at all, in fact.) The rest will sort itself out to the extent that it can be returned to or developed in tandem with rebooting, only. In other words, we can eliminate P but that does not mean we've created a healthy life. Subtraction without addition makes for a big ... vacuum.... which is what I think you may be feeling.

So... about your social life, it sounds like it could use a little development. Address it! Go for it -- but very very slowly with regard to S, since I've no idea how pervy or emotionally unhealthy P's made you in the interim. It's likely that's hard to assess for you -- even after 57 days. Perhaps it's best not to do dating until past 90 days or more, depending on a critical assessment of where you're at. (If you'd post more details of your inner life and feelings, NoFappers may have useful feedback about that). But, whatever you do... do, please, develop some kind of engaging social life. What's this talk of drinking? What's wrong with fishing, hunting, tap dancing, bungee jumping... yeah and of course _perhaps_ ultimately some light dating? I guess I'm suggesting that you, of course, should legitimately address and eventually eliminate loneliness for your reboot be anchored and for the future of your life to be different from the one that led to PMO addiction in the first place!

Best of success, guy, and thanks for sharing!

 

I know the incredible loneliness you speak of. But, I don't think online dating is the answer ...

Until January or February of this year, I used dating apps/websites regularly for the past couple of years and had some fun. It definitely jump started my dating life. I developed a few relationships and made some lasting friendships with some cool women.

But ... I often used these dating apps as pron substitutes, as I would 'seek and search' for the perfect profile (scene) and became a source of quick dopamine hits, checking and checking and swiping and messaging ... also, it got to the point where I could easily get first dates that became rehashes of other first dates, but not real connections. It got old and not so fun anymore.

So, this year since I've begun to really attack my PMO addiction, I deleted social media and dating apps, and it's helped me in my reboot. Because all of this stuff is digital quick hits of dopamine. Alas, since most my dates and relationships have come from dating apps/websites and phone chat lines, my brain is not wired to approach women in real life. But, that's what I'm committed to doing, once I've cleared my 90 day reboot.

No offense to online daters -- I've done a lot of it and still have women who are friends from it -- but, I'm going to reboot and become an overall better, more attractive man and get out into the world and start being more sociable and eventually, approach women in person -- just as our fathers and grandfathers did. That will be a much better story at the wedding and there's a magic in the whole approaching and meeting a stranger who turns into your lifelong love.

All of that to say, that you made the right decision to delete the dating app. Focus on your reboot, hit the gym hard and clear your 90 days. That's what I'm doing.