Dating apps giving me anxiety

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Kman20, Jun 18, 2020.

  1. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    I want to preface this by saying I'm a little over three years clean of PMO. I joined a dating app about a week ago (covids got me feeling really lonely and I'd like to date). At first It felt good to put myself out there and I even felt more confident in my everyday life by being vulnerable but I also started feeling anxious. I don't know why but I felt in my body and still do so I attributed this to the swiping. I began limiting myself to 10 swipes a day two days ago but I still feel anxious. I've always been kind of anxious but I haven't felt this kind of anxiety in years, I'm attributing it to using the dating apps for sure because there is nothing else it could be. I do get a high from using the apps but I don't use it to gawk at pictures of women I use it to try to date and connect but now I feel anxious after using it. I don't know why this is happening because I am well over my reboot and I've seen other post on here of people using dating apps with no problem so I'm just curious and a bit worried. Thoughts ? (I barely use them now, probably a max of a minute a day honestly but I still feel my anxiety going up a bit).
    Innervision likes this.
  2. Innervision

    Innervision Fapstronaut

    My personal experience with dating apps is that it has so many downsides and pitfalls that it's not worthy at all. I share with you that feeling of longing to be connected with other people and be on the date scene, but honestly I don't see dating apps providing these "services" on an honesty and meaningful way. Time to time I give it another try, but the overall experience almost always is of the same quality. I know I cannot generalize this to every person, but that's my experience with it.
  3. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    It may not be porn but it's still reducing people to an image, and that works both ways - you swipe to judge someone and someone out there is judging you the same way. I don't know about the platform but my guess is people don't read shit if they even have much of a profile in the first place - AND a profile still doesn't tell you that much about the person.

    At least here you have a forum and people talk about different things, not necessarily just on rebooting so you get to know people indirectly that way. I realize you may not have much choice when that's mostly the norm especially at a certain age but it doesn't change the fact that it sucks.
    Innervision likes this.
  4. ahighertruth

    ahighertruth Fapstronaut

    First and foremost congratulations on 3 years. You have beaten an addiction many of us have difficulties with. In my opinion a lot of your anxiety probably stems from fear of acceptance. I have the same thing, but I usually don't put enough work on my dating profiles to care if someone matches with me or not. Online dating is a scam really. I don't think most of them work out in the end, and a lot of the girls are picky and looking for someone specific.
    Kman20 likes this.
  5. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

    Thank you man I appreciate the congrats. I actually don’t think it’s anxiety caused by outcome though. I’m not dying for every girl to talk to or match with me. It’s more just the act of putting myself out there I enjoy and talking to women is very fun on there but I’m not going to cry if things don’t work out. I’m thinking it’s caused by stimulation caused by the swiping and seeing pictures. It may be because I have a very addictive personality and sensitive mind so it could be affecting me easily.
  6. takezawa2

    takezawa2 Fapstronaut

    I’ve been active on dating apps for about 3 years now. NOT ONE single good relationship has come out of it. From my experience, people treat dating apps like a game- make a new match, get validation, go on date/ maybe hookup and then on to the next, Ive been through this cycle enough times. Along with joining NoFap I decided to cut out the dating apps as well.

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