Dating during the 90 days challenge, should I date?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by m.kalipto, Jan 9, 2021.

  1. m.kalipto

    m.kalipto Fapstronaut

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    Hello friends!
    Hope everyone is doing great!

    One side-effect of being a porn addict is it lowers our self-esteem. This makes dating and getting to know girls (or partners) more challenging.. in my case I think this was a big factor in getting many rejections haha.

    During my reboot process, one of my friends wanted to introduce me to a girl, but I apologized and preferred just to focus on my rebooting (of course he does not know that -- I told him that I'm reflecting and focusing on my job).

    My main point here that I wanted to focus on the healing process that would improve my confidence and self-esteem.

    What other friends here advice in such cases
     
    FezMan76 likes this.
  2. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

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    Surely it’s good to get a partner who can help you in this journey, and if you want to do stuff with her, it’s much better than you PMO on your own!!

    I see no downside to finding a girl, I don’t understand what you mean by you need to heal before you find someone? What healing are you talking about? How has PMO made you lose your confidence, in what sense?
     
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  3. m.kalipto

    m.kalipto Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your reply!

    It could be different from person to person, but I think pmo got me to be more socially anxious with a bit of low self-esteem. I just don't feel myself when talking to girls haha
    My aim once finishing the reboot process is to increase my confidence and self-esteem this will lower my social anexity.

    That is why I preferred not or to pause on dating till I'm done or at-least when I fee it is the time.
     
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  4. FezMan76

    FezMan76 Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough. I myself remember back in school when my PMO addiction was at its worst, I could simply not talk to girls naturally at all (or even just people in general) and I often found myself losing interest altogether because I thought that all my hopes were lost and that Porn was my only escape. Of course I was wrong, and I severely regret my actions now.
    I'd say now that you've been on NoFap for some time and are aware of your actions, I'd say go for it! It's much better to be in a relationship that keeps you away from your vices. just make sure you're in it for the right reasons. But in the end, it's up to you.
     
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  5. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

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    I see, so this is how it affects you. The only way this affects me is I am constantly horny so I am PMO multiple times a day which is bad and time consuming (less time to talk to family/friends) and porn isn’t the best thing to watch is it?

    Therefore I want to stop for these reasons, I can talk to girls fine in real life that’s not an issue for me. I didn’t realise PMO could affect people’s interactions with other people.

    But like FezMan76 said, go for it! Try not to let PMO affect your life too much, as if it’s controlling you then PMO has won, and we want to be on the winning side. Try to be more sociable with girls, as then at least you’ve tried you know? Don’t let the effects of PMO shackle you from doing stuff in real life! And trust me when you’re with a nice girl, PMO will be less hard ;)
     
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  6. Slowlybutsurely

    Slowlybutsurely Fapstronaut

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