Dating game is rigged.

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by PrinceOtaku, Sep 10, 2019.

  1. Quoowahb

    Quoowahb Fapstronaut

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    Confidence may attract social status and money, but it doesn't require it. A person who exercises, sleeps well, maintains good relationships, seeks mastery in what he does, and takes care of himself, will display confidence beyond his social status and money. I hear stories all the time about people who quit fapping and grow in many areas. The rewards often, but do not always follow this. I respect confidence in others even if they are not rich.

    People develop confidence more from their competence, rather than their social status or money. People seeking social status and money without developing themselves is not attractive. I think women are attracted to this type of confidence, maybe even more than money. In one of his YouTube videos, Jordan Peterson says that psychological studies of women prove that women prefer the attributes that produce wealth over wealth itself. Of course, competent, confident people often do acquire social status and money.

    Maybe you mean "arrogance." "Insolence" requires someone to be actively rude and disrespectful to others. Anyway, the big takeaway from this is that we can all develop ourselves, and this helps us attract women.
    There is a difference between testing someone's character and asking someone to sod off. It takes some discernment to recognize this.
    The woman might be one of the 2/10 that thinks she deserves a 10/10. The woman you approach might not be single. Maybe he isn't attractive, but if he goes into his shell after he is rejected, he'll never meet a woman. There are plenty of unattractive people that pair up.
    The latter.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
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  2. lukasz.luk

    lukasz.luk Fapstronaut

    One rule from my experience - if You want to really engage in relationship with girl and you know each other even a little - You should show that You are not interested in. And try to make her jealous f.a. talking to go out to theatre with someone else… That would make her interested in You.

    If You show too much engagement You will be for her less attractive cause You are "too easy" to achieve.
     
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  3. Quoowahb

    Quoowahb Fapstronaut

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    Please explain why you believe this.
    These definitions, based on a google search, shouldn't be too controversial:
    Arrogant--having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.
    Insolent--showing a rude and arrogant lack of respect.
    Please, at least, have some kind reasonable argument why you disagree with these commonly accepted definitions.
    Some kind of ad hominem attack?
    People test each other intentionally and unintentionally as potential mates. It is part of the human experience. You can spin it however you want. If a man refused to ever be treated like a "circus monkey" and ran from every potential relationship the moment he was tested, he would spend his life alone.
    It depends on the type of woman. Some women genuinely invest in their children as part of a reproductive strategy and desire stable family relationships. Some women jump from man to man. There may even be a bit of K and r strategy differences among humans.
    There is always the possibility that the woman welcomes the advances.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
  4. OK so I'm a woman and it seems an interesting discussion here :D
    Could be but I think that it should be vice versa, first we need to take risks in life and then take risks with men/women in our lives. First we need to get ourselves and our lives in order and only then we should take risks inviting others into our lives. This doesn't apply to players of course, men and women do that. I'm talking here about serious people.
    I agree completely. As for 2/10 woman seeking 10/10 man - that has to deal with low self esteem of such woman. If she gets a 10/10 man for herself will she be able to keep him? If she works hard and handles her own stuff, maybe but if not - I think 10/10 people are looking for another 10/10 to pair up. They are looking for deeper connections mirroring themselves. If you as a man got rejected by a woman, maybe it wasn't even your fault after all, maybe it was her own problems. Maybe she was not your woman after all and it's even good you got rejected because you could have ended up in a relationship with her and suffered a lot if she was for ex. a narc. I think we all need to work our part in a relationships and make our own conclusions after break-ups.
    Nope, this won't work for me, if a guy started playing such childish games I'd rather be alone than play them. And I read the same advice for women - if he loses interest in you, stop texting him, stop calling, live your own life, and he will come back :D Bullshit most of the time I guess because if a man is no longer interested, he is no longer interested, period.
     
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  5. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Online dating is hopeless because girls are the main attraction and they’re getting so many messages. It’s a crapshoot getting a message back.
     
  6. A woman subconsciously tests men for fathering qualities, even if she never intends to have children. Part of it is behaving like a child and checking the corrective response.

    Men who don't lead, teach and correct their women, lose them. All this happens entirely subconsciously, you will never get the real reason for the breakup. It will usually be "the tingles are gone".

    Playing the childish games is her part. His part is behaving as the adult in the relationship. ;)

    A casual sex dating relationship lasts for two years and nine months on average. That is not long enough if the goal for example is raising children. So for stuff which has to last at least 18 years, the initial courtship phase is actually the test for that long term relationship (traditionally called marriage).

    For a high value man looking for such a prospect the most important aspect is weed out women, who are in for instant gratification only, because these are unable to teach children anything but instant gratification. Such children are unable to function in society as an adult and usually end up in welfare, as drug and porn users. A high value man therefore will let the woman put in some effort to get what she wants (the man) and let her wait for it (delayed gratification), giving her some opportunity to show virtue. Only if she passes, she actually qualified herself as a potential mum.

    Of course, in a world of quick hookups, perceived male abundance and single mums most women don't even consider passing male tests. However nobody of those raise successful children. They either never have any or their offspring ends up in sub-forums like these or in jail.
     
  7. Wise words - on condition that neither the playing part nor the adult part is exaggerated. And also sometimes women expect men to get involved with them in their games and vice versa men expect women to act and think like men. We're wired differently for a reason.
    The same is true for high value women and I would argue that there are more men who seek instant gratification only and cannot delay it for themselves first and foremost (for ex PMO) and there is this wide-spread notion that men need intercourse, it's biological, so why wait, stop being such a prude etc etc. I've seen a few during the period of my celibacy after the divorce and I don't respect those men, they need to handle their own shit first. Or maybe not, they are welcome to look for a girl with similar values, that's all.
    That single mum part.. ugh. I represent one and I think that if you have become a single mom bc of experiencing an abusive relationship (those who have experience with being in relationships with toxic people and manipulators would agree that sometimes their "tests" are fake and just a mask) and did the inner work and analysed your patterns you will also have some serious tests for any male to pass because you've been mocked at and judged and put down for being a single mom aka a loser and you pushed through all of this and you survived and never gave up on commitment to be a good parent, either single or not. After all, it is better than living with the abuser and pretending to be a happy family raising future abusers and victims so to say.
     
  8. Indeed. I just described the biological basics. In my worldview these alone aren't sufficient. I see the need to put the Christian commandments on top of it to make it work. Like the one to love our neighbor like our self.

    It used to be that women looked for intercourse (to become pregnant) and men gated commitment (aka marriage). That's the reason why in the past parents paid a man to take their daughter.

    Now in modern society this order is inverted (and in my belief system the devil likes to invert and turn things upside down) and that obviously doesn't work.

    Ending up here on this forum means something did go wrong, and that is because nobody is safe from making mistakes.

    The thing I was talking about is that single-parenting is culturally praised now and you see lot of women at my age looking for a seed donator, so they can raise their kid as a heroic single mother (while collecting alimony of course) with the resulting children becoming very broken.
     
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  9. oh OK.. that's perverted business, no self-respect nor respect for other people whatsoever. In my country single moms are not praised, they are mostly blamed for not "saving" the marriage and looked upon as women only good for hookups. That is the next level of objectification I guess :D single dads are not regarded in this way but anyway, I digress.
     
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  10. That's great advice
    Again spot on
     
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  11. It shows that we are from different cultures and Lithuania isn't that far gone yet. This kind of social control doesn't exist anymore in Western Europe. In fact a marriage and (usually only one) child is considered as kind of a bucket list item to check off in the late 30s.
     

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