Dating while rebooting, I see all women are ugly :(

kale_

kale_

Fapstronaut
I started my nofap journey (90 days challenge) just less than two weeks ago. At the same time I am dating with intention for long term relationship (intention of eventually getting married).

I'm having an issue where I meet women but I don't get attracted to them at all.. like nothing happens to me, no spark, no emotion, no heart racing..

I started seeing an amazing woman where we are compatible in everything (background, values, education, ...) but I have zero attraction to her, she shows that she is attracted to me though...

I have a huge FOMO of letting her go as I wonder if my pmo is impacting my taste..

do you have some advices for this situation.. really appreciate any help here..
 
you could be under the ‘flatline’ or excessive pmo, but it also could be the case you are not attracted to her. PMO could be making you attracted only to ‘the most beautiful women’ and not ‘normal’ women. This is hard to say without knowing all your circumstances. You have to decide for yourself. Did you meet her recently after starting nofap, or did you know her before (and if so were you attracted to her)?

I will say: It’s easy to find people who you can appreciate the outward beauty of. It’s much harder to find someone with compatible long term life goals. I have also let go of many girls who share my humour/life approach and became good friends with them because I wasn’t attracted to them, and it can work out fine with other girls in the future.

sorry there is not more advice. All i can say is that its possible its pmo but dont force anything unnatural. You are the best judge for yourself
 
Woman's perspective: let her go or tell her you're not attracted to her. No woman wants to be with a man who isn't attracted to her. If you can't be honest with her about your feelings, you're essentially tricking her into dating you because she's making an assumption that if you're trying to date her, you're attracted to her. Don't be a skeezball starting a relationship off with an enormous lie.
 
CrushedandLeaving said:
Woman's perspective: let her go or tell her you're not attracted to her. No woman wants to be with a man who isn't attracted to her. If you can't be honest with her about your feelings, you're essentially tricking her into dating you because she's making an assumption that if you're trying to date her, you're attracted to her. Don't be a skeezball starting a relationship off with an enormous lie.
Click to expand...

Hi! Just wondering your opinion on this. I have a friend who originally did not find his gf attractive but loved her kindness, humour etc. And as a result he became attracted to her. They are now together for around 2 years and are sexually active and whatnot.
Cheers
 
W0nderfulLife said:
Hi! Just wondering your opinion on this. I have a friend who originally did not find his gf attractive but loved her kindness, humour etc. And as a result he became attracted to her. They are now together for around 2 years and are sexually active and whatnot.
Cheers
Click to expand...
Did he tell her that? It's she okay with it? Or is it something that has been kept from her? If she's fine with it, cheers. If she doesn't know and might not want to continue in those circumstances, boo. But she should get the choice. Would you want to date a woman going on the Internet and saying she thinks you're ugly while lusting after men online that she's attracted to?
 
CrushedandLeaving said:
Did he tell her that? It's she okay with it? Or is it something that has been kept from her? If she's fine with it, cheers. If she doesn't know and might not want to continue in those circumstances, boo. But she should get the choice. Would you want to date a woman going on the Internet and saying she thinks you're ugly while lusting after men online that she's attracted to?
Click to expand...

He told her eventually a year in I think. She was upset but not enough to leave him. None of us knew that he didnt find her attractive either; she told us iirc.

The latter thing - you’re right, it’s awful. I think the difference is he never told anyone but her.

I’m luckier because I found a girl who is the most beautiful girl in the world in my eyes and I can’t feel attracted to any other women now literally. I love her so much. But it was shocking to me that he had felt that way and dated her, and that he did find her beautiful and then told her that he didn’t before…
 
W0nderfulLife said:
He told her eventually a year in I think. She was upset but not enough to leave him. None of us knew that he didnt find her attractive either; she told us iirc.

The latter thing - you’re right, it’s awful. I think the difference is he never told anyone but her.

I’m luckier because I found a girl who is the most beautiful girl in the world in my eyes and I can’t feel attracted to any other women now literally. I love her so much. But it was shocking to me that he had felt that way and dated her, and that he did find her beautiful and then told her that he didn’t before…
Click to expand...
Yeah, bit she deserved that choice from the start. It will haunt her always. That's why this guy either needs to drop it or be honest with her. She deserves the right to make decisions about her relationships that aren't based in someone's lies or omissions.
 
CrushedandLeaving said:
Yeah, bit she deserved that choice from the start. It will haunt her always. That's why this guy either needs to drop it or be honest with her. She deserves the right to make decisions about her relationships that aren't based in someone's lies or omissions.
Click to expand...
Fair enough. But I suppose she’s made her decision to stick with him even if she’s haunted by that fact… I’m not sure how it will go for them.

Cheers for engaging with me
 
I had a 3 year relationship my longest and broke up a couple of times ending it. I was thinking I was not attracted to her enough I see was due to the porn addiction setting unrealistic expectations and causing less satisfaction for myself with the good woman I had.

Now I regret it as we didn't have issues and great sex in a peaceful wonderful relationship. However I figured if you see your partner 1-2 times a week in an average relationship and watch porn the other 5 days it's just unbalanced in the porn side causing confusion.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top