Day 0 and tips from a serial giver-upper

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by d.testman, Jun 29, 2020.

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  1. d.testman

    d.testman New Fapstronaut

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    Hi All,

    I'm long time follower of the NoFap community but a first time poster. I am 26 year old male who's been struggling with porn addiction for about the last 10 years in that time I've tried to give up PMOing on a 100+ occasions with success ranging from 32 days abstinence to just a couple of hours. I've decided to post my latest attempt as well share some tips that I hope will help other people not repeat the same mistakes I've made.

    1. Appreciate that there is probably a reason why you are PMOing. Like most addictions there is probably an underlying reason why you are turning to PMO, in my own experience I found after the initial good affects of abstaining wears off and the grind of daily life comes back I often find I simply can't cope with life and crave PMO just to give me some relief (however fleeting) from the pain I'm experiencing. Be prepared when undertaking NoFap to also do the work on yourself, the porn addiction is often just the symptom of some deeper issues in your life.

    2. Triggers. Try to keep a track of triggers that result in the urge to PMO or substances that lead to PMO, for me it happens to be alcohol and cocaine, after a night out when I'm feeling hungover I often find myself feeling sorry for myself and as a result overwhelmed with urges to PMO. By keeping track of this trigger I've come to realise if I want the best chance of success I need to remove these habits from my life.

    3. Routine, Routine, Routine. If you want to have any chance of success work out a routine. Plan your day from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Keeping yourself occupied with Tasks and chores will stop boredom setting in which often leads to PMO.

    4. Exercise. Linked to point number 3 you should try and plan an element of exercise each day that suits your level of fitness, this way you're out of the house away from distractions, expending energy and hopefully tiring yourself out enough to make sure you sleep well at night.

    More and progress tips to come over the following weeks and thank you to everyone who is part of the community.
     
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  2. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this! I have also tried to get rid of PM for around 7 years now and have failed and failed and failed. So these reminders are useful. I tend to slack on 2 and 3, and I still struggle with 1: I have a pretty good idea of what it is that drives me to PMO, but I still have troubles finding actual solutions that work whenever a real crisis hits me. And if that happens at a moment when I've started to be less mindful about my triggers and my routine, which usually happens when I'm some time into NoFap and I start to feel safe, then it's all downhill again.
     
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  3. d.testman

    d.testman New Fapstronaut

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    Day 1 - No worries Merry Terry I know you feel, you get in this comfort zone once you get a streak together and then any urge to PMO can be rationalise by thinking "We'll I've done 15 days without PMO once won't hurt" and you end up back at square one. I think the approach I'm going to take now is breaking it down to one day at a time, however bad I feel if I can focus on just getting through the day without PMO I will have achieved my goal.
     
  4. d.testman

    d.testman New Fapstronaut

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    Day 3 - Had a lot of urges last couple days although I've implemented a good routine, just looking forward to getting to Saturday without any PMO. I'm in a relationship of 4 years with my GF who I love very much, we have sex once every 14- 16 days which isn't great and I always end up PMO the day after because I don't feel satisfied. The best times in our relationship and sex life have come when I've been PMO free for more than 10 days so I know abstinence works. I'll probably keeps these posts going for a while as I'm finding them therapeutic. Again thanks to the NoFap community.
     
    Merry Terry likes this.
  5. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    I feel you about the infrequent sex with your girlfriend. My girlfriend and I have been together for 7 years now and we sometimes have sex only once a month. It's frustrating. And yet, PMO is never the solution, it just makes the problem worse, definitely in my case because it makes my insecurities and irregular ED stronger.
     
  6. d.testman

    d.testman New Fapstronaut

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    Back to Day 0 , exact same pattern, not feeling good but knowing I shouldn't PMO but then doing it anyway because I've rationalized in that moment that its OK to do it because I'll get that 15 mins of feeling high. Although it's back to square one I know that as long as I keep trying there's hope and I've realised that I'm gonna have to do an extended period with alcohol if this is ever going work.

    And thanks as well Merry Terry I've always known there are people going through similar things to me but its really good just to hear someone talk about it and know I'm not alone, all the best with your GF and you're right PMO is never the answer.
     
    Merry Terry likes this.
  7. Merry Terry

    Merry Terry Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, it sucks to heear that. I know so well what you're going through. There is hope. Try and analyse what made you fall this time and what you could have done differently. That might not prevent it from happening again, but just repeatedly observing might. It's okay. We live and learn.
     
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