Day 10 of no PMO - (social) anxiety increase and intense (stomach) pain

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by daymare, Apr 20, 2019.

  1. daymare

    daymare Fapstronaut

    Hi to all fellow Fapstronauts,

    I'm currently on day 10 of no PMO, with no intention to ever start again; no specific 'this many days'-challenge. The first 6 or seven days went by pretty fast, I felt kinda good. But since day 7 I'm having this non-stop physical stomach pain, and my anxiety seems to be omnipresent. It seems at least the same, or even worse than before when I still PMO-ed, daily, to increasingly f*cked up stuff.

    About the anxiety, even typing this post is hard. With every word I type my mind goes like: what will people think when they read this, am I using the right grammar, and a lot more of this non-sense. Can't seem to shut it off. When I take a walk, for instance, go to the supermarket, it feels like everyone is looking at me - and judging me. I've been prone to having these anxieties for a long time - and also the stomach aching, amongst other pains, such as a constant burning sensation on my back and in my hands. Thing is, these pains weren't there 10 days ago when I still watched porn and masturbated.

    The day before yesterday I was so incredibly close to relapsing, and yesterday and today I am again. It's cravings, 24/7. Driving me kinda insane.
    People here on nofap report a huge confidence boost, after quitting - easy to talk to girls, etc - I know I am just on 10 days, and it might take a lot longer (probably my brain is rewiring or something), but I'm really uncomfortable around others, mostly in an hidden way; I mean - people have often said during my life that they never expected me to have all these problems, cause I seem like a really relaxed guy. Talking of problems: porn, sex is my core addiction. But next to porn I drink at least 2 bottles of beer every day, am prescribed with dexamphetamine, and lorazepam, I smoke cigarettes, a lot - I eat unhealty and stay up late, I'm still behind my computerscreen a LOT - playing games or just browsing Youtube or forums. Then there is marihuana, which I used to smoke every night, but I quit this on day 2 of no PMO. I don't even know where I'm going with this anymore, but - it's just that I am in constant pain, all day. It's hard to distinguish between PMO/marihuana withdrawal symptoms and my body just getting poisoned by the bad habits described above.
    I also tend to search for a replacement for porn in these bad habits, mostly alcohol and smoking. I don't overuse dexamphetamine, anymore - cause I see no point in taking it without porn (used to edge for hours while high on dex, combined with lorazepam and weed). Rationally I know that I should do things like sporting, going out there, enjoy nature - but this crippling anxiety keeps me from doing this.
    Not to be all negative, I notice that I took up some healthy habits - basic things like showering more often and brushing my teeth twice a day - but I have to be honest when I say that these good habits (how trivial they might be - I mean, what's so hard about taking a shower or brushing teeth) have been harder to sustain since day 7, when phyiscally and mentally everything went to sh*t.

    I guess the basic question is: will it take a LOT longer for me to feel better, or is it unlikely, since I have these other addictions? Is my brain really rewiring? Or will it stay tuned to porn - because of my dex, alcohol and lorazepam usage? Do they share the same pathways, touch the same circuit, if you catch my drift?

    A lot of questions, quite a long read too. It's kind of jumping from subject to subject, but thanks in advance for reading or taking the time to reply.



Share This Page