DAY 120 SPECIAL - How to developed NO PMO MINDSET and What i have learned and whats next.

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Kratos_GOW, Jul 12, 2022.

  1. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    ** I have just updated my post that you can find at the very last page, Below is the postings when i completed my main streak goals and my thoughts. Thanks **


    Day 75 completed. New rank achieved - SPARTAN GENERAL! ( 100 DAYS SPARTAN CHALLENGE)

    Currently on FLATLINE. Status NO P, NO MO, still i need to work on how to better avoid all the the things that are hidden in plain sight. Before I had Instagram, Telegram, Twitter, P-subs comics. etc.
    • Now with better Control i have been able to get rid of all of them by meditating between the reality and fiction. It usually depends on the amount of self control you have on yourself. I would not recommend you to go onto the extreme and get rid of everything at ONCE. Rather take it slow get and introduce productive habits in your life to replace it, If you cannot leave these, then atleast follow some good people with quality content that makes you a better person, NOT A SLAVE TO THEIR BODY.
    • Instagram - now deleted on phone, only present in laptop which is always in company of people. Rather i have did my best to avoid all those "social media influencers" that want to show how perfect there body is and how minimal there coverage they can wear. Its a real Shitshow and further you are away from it the better.
    • Twitter - Since It doesn't have to follow community guidelines, the best it does is to not let you view mature and sexual content if you don't have an account. Since the inception of google, you are one click away from viewing all of that material by just making an account. The best i did was get rid of the twitter account by deleting it. Since i was not a big fan of twitter it was really easy to not have this ich to see everything. STILL STAY AWAY FROM IT.
    • Telegram was relatively easy, i just deleted it from my phone. SINCE it has the search option, you should always be on guard against yourself
    • P-Subs - Now there is a lot of grey area here, what it usually boils down to is everything which is not exactly pornographic but highly sexual which can make you arouse and later lead to relapse. All the above are some source of P-subs, models, pages, the weird ass cuts for a Porn video so its not visibly, all of that is the stuff you should avoid. Also if you are fan of comics and manga's, there are also creators which make a more mature mangas that has sex and nudity involved. ESPECIALLY STAY AWAY FROM THOSE, specially the KOREANS Full colored ones, these are like slow poison and you may think as its fine i am not really doing anything. IT IS STILL PORN, BUT AS A DRAWING! Its essential in your reboot to cleanse yourself of this whole PERFECT BODY WOMEN mentality that the media has twisted your BRAIN into.
    THATS ALL PRETTY MUCH WHAT YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF.

    • HOW DO YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU DENY THE CRAVINS TO SEE THEM -
    • Let me tell you this encounter i had not to long ago.
    Last night i was in predicament. At least that's what your mind wants u to say.
    I had in my hand this phone and twitter profile was open which in one click would take me to this MEGA storage site which has collection of all my fetishes that i was addicted to.
    Back in my mind there was this tussle, not whether to open to it or not. It was this voice almost commanding me to go ahead, you are here already watch it , yes its fine go do it.
    AAAAAAND I DID NOT. I said to myself -
    1. I am not weak, I will not go back to my old self, I am in control not you.
    2. THIS IS NOT REAL.
    3. THE WELL ANALOGY I DEVELOPED TO FIGHT ALMOST EVERY URGE TO WATCH OR M.
    • SO THE QUESTION ARISES, HOW DO YOU GET TO THIS!?
    • Well for me specifically, my last streak was around 2019 when i was serious. afterwards it was chaser effect and for 2 years i was the same doing all of them crazy things.
    • What i did was-
    1. GATHER ALL THE KNOWLEDGE YOU CAN ABOUT THE REBOOT, WORKINGS OF THE BRAIN, HOW ADDICTIONS WORKS, TESTIMONY OF PEOPLE WHO ARE OLDER THEN YOU AND HOW THERE LIFE HAS EFFECTED WITH PMO. Some books to get started
    1. 1. The Porn Trap by Wendy Maltz
      2. Breaking the Cycle by George Collins
      3. Sex and Porn Addiction Healing and Recovery by Scott Brassart
      4. Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson
      5. The Porn Myth by Matt Fradd
    2. UNDERSTAND YOUR REALITY - You are addicted, WHY? There is always an answer. You just haven't looked your self in the mirror and asked yourself important questions. See, this PMO is like a defense mechanism, which you mind is accustomed to whenever you feel yourself in a compromising, stressed, vulnerable situation. You always solve your problems when you are facing them not by running away. Most of the stories i read her has one thing in common, they got introduced to P and M. they had a certain trauma growing up, or a thing that happened which kickstarted this whole PMO defense mechanism. That's why SELF REFLECTION becomes mandatory in REBOOT. YOU NEED TO HAVE A BETTER UNDERSTANDING ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOURSELF.
    3. STOICISM - Just recently i saw a forum here talking about how Stoic mentality helped them overcome the barrier. At first i was a bit skeptical as i never was introduced to it, it has this book recommendation called The Daily Stoic , it has 365 pages of daily stoic lessons that you can incorporate in life for being a better self. What i learned was - How to build stronger mentality, what is in your control and what is not. How to not let them affect your spirit. how to have a better perspective on life, how a good mindset can help you in longer run and so much more. I YOU ARE INTERESTED I WOULD SUGGEST THE BOOK AND A YOUTUBE CHANNEL CALLED GRAVEMIND. Watch its video and you will understand.
    4. YOUR WHY NEEDS TO BE THE STRONGEST - Frankly this is the most important support one can have in this reboot. You need to have a purpose, you need to have a reason for committing to this discipline. Before i had all the above in my arsenal i had and very well still have a strong reason to why i needed the REBOOT. SO if you are failing STOP, Sit down and think deeply about your reasons, i am sure you will find it.
    5. THE WELL ANALOGY - I WILL FIND THE POST AND QUOTE IT BELOW AS IT HAS EVERYTHING TO IN IT SO STAY TUNED.
    So these are what i considered the MENTAL aspects that helped me make it this far. I plan on making this whole reboot as part of my life rather then counting days. There are Physical aspects as well but i will talk about it after Reaching day 120 and i havent been developing that area of discipline.
    In the closing statements i will just say, YOU CONTROL YOUR MIND, YOUR MIND DOES NOT CONTROL YOU. YOU HAVE THE POWER!
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2022
  2. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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  3. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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  4. TiredOfFailing

    TiredOfFailing Fapstronaut

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    I really like that youtube channel. Good find, thnx for posting
     
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  5. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    Another day in. Man i cant stress enough how shitty last night was. It was like a hijack. I was constantly leaning towards both ends of right and wrong. What wasn't helping was what ever i was doing there was always a trigger involved. Watching a movie, playing a fantasy game, YouTube, even fucking comic books. I couldn't sleep properly, and worse I think I got something along the lines of anxiety attack. I was on cusp on PMO-ing yet i was able to not indulge in that. It was so hard but I was hanging in there, reasoning with myself. I was almost at the doors of P sites which i used in the past but i was able to rationalize and get away from there. I also had this Hugh space growing in my chest which made me all kinds of anxious and all of the sudden i got an erection. I don't even know what happen, maybe it was constant back and forth but I got hard. Old me would have been caught up in the chaser effect but now this ME. I was able to talk myself out of it and remind myself the reasons why, people who look up to, my duels of nofap match, all the things i was able to remember. And whew, I nearly dodged a bullet there. I constantly told myself, if I do this, things will go back to the way they were. I would like to thank NOFAP emergency button which showed me this video of NEO from matrix taking the pill for truth. I helped me put things in perspective at least. It was a hard fought battle but i won. Now I have won the battle, a bigger war lingers. I have to prepare myself, all the things i neglected came crashing down last night and now i will fix them as I should have all those times. I will not fall this time. HOO-AH
     
  6. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    How to win mental battles.
     
  7. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    A friend asked me this and i hope it can help you guys in any way. Peace

    "Q . have you passed the flatline ?

    My take - To be honest man, the flatline phase is different for everyone. You can say there are levels to this discipline, say a heavy addict a medium to occasional PMO user. I think i was somewhere between heavy to medium considering the shit i used to do.
    about flatline, i would say i dont feel much different. Like the only thing change is i dont really crave for porn or insta models pics to the point that i cant sleep at night. You can say that i just bulldozed my way into with a heavy "WHY" to my reasoning. Now I can say that i havent been doing much self improvement say meditation or working out or going out much due to reasons, you can say that may have been the reason why i dont feel much. I plan on making a routine after this week and implement self imp with my discipline.

    Now if you are wondering about when you will feel the flatline has passed or results of the discipline, i would suggest this.
    1. Unlike me, actually make a good work out routines, or meditation in your daily life.
    2. Go out more, because we are not meant to stay in a room for most of time, preferably new places you wanted to visit.
    3. Make new habits or try new things such as learning guitar or anything you wanted to do for the longest time.
    4. I feel like this is imp step and helped me in my last streak. "Do something each day that you generally would not do" It can be anything, say talking to strangers, feed an animal, some community service, etc. Anything which you either fear or just moving down the queue.
    5, Stay consistent. I cant honestly tell you what it would like when you pass flatline, but the thing in our hands is keep going. You must have seen yourself, that things were harder on day 1 comparing to today in your discipline.

    I hope my words help you in any capacity. Goodluck."
     
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  8. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone, 100 days are complete, YAYYY, party lets goo, blah bah yada yada.

    Didnt know what i was expecting when i clear the streak and pass even 90 days but it is different really.
    Pretty much everything i went through is what i have written above so i would try not to go too much into those.
    Lets just have a casual talk eh? Also i would suggest You read my previous entries so things below become more clear.

    1. So 100 days, what it means? depends on how you see it. If you are the kind who loves seeing your days at the end of the signature, good for you.
    Are you the one who doesn't care, but aim for this being a lifestyle? It is a testament of your discipline and self control. You learned a lot of things coming this far, give yourself a credit. It doesn't matter, if you are day 1, 20 , 40, 60 or whatever, what matter is your resolve to thrive in this discipline. As rocky says, One punch at a time, one step at a time, one round at a time and add another ONE DAY AT A TIME!.
    My story -
    I am not really a fan of counting days, i am planning to do make this into a lifestyle. It was an addiction that went as back as 9 years. Until 2019 i didnt even know this was a problem. What started was curiosity, then pleasure, then addiction. It was a once a week, then once a day, then 2 times a day, then 3 sometimes 4. I knew something was wrong but i didnt know what. Then i found nofap. Tried for 2 months, relapse, then a week, relapse, then again for a bit, whoops a relapse. Then i stopped till 2 years, i said fuck it, who cares. MORE IS NEXT SEGMENT

    2. WHAT IS IT? YOU CANT CONTROL YOURSELF? YOUR MIND PLAYS TRICKS? YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR PAST OR FUTURE?
    I understand your situation. Fighting this addiction is a fight against our worst self. But don't you think in the fight against your worst enemy, the demon, YOUR DEMON, at least your body and mind is the best weapons you have? Your body is the SHIELD and your mind is the LEGENDARY SWORD that is customed made for you. Its just that the Sword does not recognize its master. How do you make it yours? Well YOU TRAIN WITH IT. I have mentioned most of the tools above in how to prepare mentally above so give them a read. If you have already, aint you a smartass!

    While doing this and while fighting for control, remember this, your past doesn't matter neither your future, its this moment, this is the battle you fight. You fight to win, if you loose, you learn and get better. and again you fight but this time you win. With each win you stack up your victories and on top of mountain is the freedom you so wish for.

    My Story -
    Well after trying and failing and giving up, after 2 years, some stuff happened which made me rethink my situation. ( dont worry it wasnt something along the lines of my dick didnt get hard when i was about to DO THAT), I guess you can say it was a combination of having a stationary, non growth, unemployed, failing at progress kind of life that made me realise i cant go in like this. SURE doing NOFAP is not going to solve my problem, but rather then be freed of this nonsense then just leaving it for my future self. So i thought for a bit and learned about the whole process, what is the best practice, what works for me, what doesnt, what is the best case scenarios? Well for me, as i mentioned above THE WELL ANALOGY i developed really worked well. Being up late without a purpose is not the very best choice. ALL this due to a good amount of SELF REFLECTION.

    3. SELF REFLECTION. WHAT IS THAT NEVER HEARD OF IT! WHO HAS TIME FOR IT? -
    Now Now. Calm down, I promise It will make sense.
    1. “Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes.” –Lawrence Bossidy
    2. “It is always our own self that we find at the end of the journey. The sooner we face that self, the better.” – Ella Maillart
    3. “The journey into self-love and self-acceptance must begin with self-examination… until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.” – Iyanla Vanzant
    So can you figure out what you can achieve from self reflection? As i said above We are not fighting someone else, but it is ourselves that we are in war with. A good strategy forms when you know what your strength and weaknesses are. Your demon knows that before hand, It will crush your strength by exploiting your weakness. Before It gets the chance, shouldn't you be the one to atleast know about yourself more then your demon?
    Self reflection is one of the reasons that gave me my "WHY". Everything we do or think of has a simple reason behind it and thats a "WHY"
    You are hungry WHY? Because you did not eat.
    You cant sleep? WHY? Stress? Insomnia
    You want a vacation? WHY? Because you want a fucking break.

    Our actions have a bigger impact on ourself if we have a strong Reason behind it. Thought it is not a major revelation, yet many seems to overlook this fact. Since we are talking about this i want you to answer these questions below in your head and remember them while being on this discipline -
    1. Why are you here?
    2. Why do you want to do this NOFAP?
    3. What are you Trying to achieve? Are you running away from something? Do you have a past trauma?
    4. Why do you expect from NOFAP? Are these expectations achievable?
    5. Do you think it will solve all of your problems?
    6. Do you know exactly why you are doing this?
    7. What self improvement activities are you currently pursuing other then NOFAP?
    8. Do you have the resolve to leave behind all your demons? Are you sure?
    9. Its gonna be a tough roads, chances are nobody other then this forum will know about your accomplishment. IRL chances are you will be alone on this journey. There will be NO THANK YOU's or pat on the back when you need the most. Are you still willing to walk this path.?
    10. Do you have all the basics and the knowledge you need for this discipline?
    Okay these above will pretty much get you some answer. Be honest about yourself and your feelings.

    4. WHAT YOU SHOULD DO THAT I DID NOT - For reasons, i couldn't do the following -
    1. Join a gym or workout in any capacity.
    2. Meditate more than 10 to 20 minutes.
    3. Learn a new hobby or work on existing ones.
    4. Go out and meet new people.
    5. Take care of your skin and how you look and dress (What did you thought? You wanna get laid looking like a zombie?)
    I feel like the aura everyone here talk about is not only because of abstinence, rather self confidence and the way you carry yourself, if you work on yourself, people will notice that and will want your company. I plan on doing it for the next phase of upcoming 90 days.
    But I will say this, DO THIS FOR YOURSELF NOT FOR ANYONE ELSE!

    5. So What exactly improved? Is this worth it? What if i don't get results? What is even the point?
    Lets see, Below is strictly my story, it may differ from yours. and also, I was a guy who used to do it 3 times a day, i am still feeling flatline phase so i may not be able to list many things as a normal guy would. I didnt do any of the things above

    1. I am much more calm and can handle my emotions better, make no mistake i still get agitated but i am able to rationalise my thoughts better.
    2. You get a curious mindset about things.
    3. The things that you don't want to face, you will have courage to address them.
    4. You will have courage to seek out old people and also some old contacts may get in touch with you too.
    5. You rationalise things and build a logical mindset. Hey, it helped my find Stoicism which helped me a lot.
    6. Your concentration improves, some amount of brain fog goes away.
    7. As i couldn't move out much, i don't have many attraction stories for you. But i can say, if you have any kind of social anxiety, you will feel much more comfortable dealing with it. For some places i visited in this time period, i can say yes, there was many instances of staring or stealing a look. i could just feel it. Same girls watching you but turns away when you meet her eyes, may happens a lot to you, just don't freak your lady out lol.
    8. Your sleep quality will increase and also you will have much more energy, which in turn will make you need less sleep hours.
    9. From constantly thinking about PMO to now rarely thinking about it. It has been a journey. I have changed so will you if you commit to it.

    The things above you may not get them, or you get better results who knows, it works differently for everyone. My next milestones are for 120 and 150 days. I will let you guys know if things happen differently. You are free to comment or ask anything you want. Good luck on your journey. I stand with you, so as everyone here. Give em hell!
     
  9. Baki Hanma

    Baki Hanma Fapstronaut

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    Great advice brother
     
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  10. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    Thanks man
     
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  11. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    I want to add something else too. What i am about to say is purely based on the success stories and post i read online.
    WHY YOU FAIL TO HAVE A GOOD SEX WHEN IN PMO PHASE?

    1. The reason you or anybody using PMO as an outlet, DONT GET HARD fully is because of the ecosystem we have created while watching P on a screen. For eg, remember when you searched for P for MO, you searched for THE PERFECT VIDEO? We are not supposed to hold standard specially while watching the girls on a P video. Because we have indulged ourselves with this perfect video and perfect body standards, hell even our own fetishes, our mind only gets its reaction from those things only.
    2. Now i haven't had the pleasure of being intimate with a partner but the above is the best conclusion i could make. Also we are not supposed to masturbate, as by doing the practice ourselves, robes us of the reaction we aim to achieve while having real sex. I have seen many testimonies of the people who Masturbated even after sex because they were not satisfied with the sex they got. Because with Masturbation, you can sort of control the pressure, which you will find absent when you perform sexual act.
    3. Also, Because we have indulged in the PMO act over the years our dopamine receptors are messed up. Their is nothing wrong with your D, or anyones, rather its the case of us getting a much larger dopamine hit with seeing our choice of P each time that our mind crave for better dopamine rather then the intimate act. That is the reason why many have erection problems while doing sex with a person in real life.
    4. FIX? - NOFAP is the fix. Be resetting our brain and bringing it to normal is i believe one of key factors you will get 100% erections. Your standards according to your brain are at 200%. We need to bring it back to 100% and you achieve it by abstaining.
    If anyone else have any insights, they can reply to this and add their opinion and observations. Good luck
     
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  12. ARCEUS

    ARCEUS Fapstronaut

    Brother :( Please help me, I am hopeless now, not because I am not able to control my urge, I have almost complete control, just gets a little weak when too strong urges comes. Actually, even if I am leaving pmo consciously, its not leaving me unconsciously :emoji_confounded::emoji_confounded: Means, when I am in sleep, in a proper position, in the middle of the night my eyes just opens and I may say my half of the brain still sleeps, I unconsciously start M and I have no clue that what am I doing, after the task is done, my brain starts working and than I realize what I have done, is it sleep insomia or something? This unconscious M is really overtaking me, its interval is like 7 days or directly 20 days, I am thinking is it god who don't want me to get over it, bcz even if I left it consciously, I am like hypnotized in the sleeping hours and do it in place without even knowing I am still in bed, please share if you also face this problem, really fed up with my life, only bad things are only happening with me :emoji_confounded: I am at the lowest position of self respect since 16 years, please help me anyone, really my psychology is changing to a mad person who is seeking help with anyone, it shows how drastically I am in need of help pls tell me the solution help me fight this situation.

    Also, if this happens, means I am unconscious and M, do I have to reset my streak counter?
     
  13. ARCEUS

    ARCEUS Fapstronaut

    My avg conscious streak since 3 months is 15 (means ~20 3 times and.)
     
  14. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    Hey man! I understand what you are saying. There is nothing wrong with you, first understand this. It happens to all of us. It's a phase that everybody goes through. Ok let's talk about this.
    Firstly, you said that your brain unconsciously works against you. I see. In the most basic terms your brain is hyper active right now, which you are not able to calm down. In the link below, from a youtuber called Hamza, ye talks about meditation and how it can help to calm your brain when going through such activity.

    Please try this and i promise you will feel better.

    And another note on urges. It happens man, you are currently not giving your brain the dopamine hit by doing PMO, so like a little kid, it is throwing a tantrum. You have to get it on a leash and you do that my meditating daily, practice self discipline and self reflection as i said above. Good luck. As me if you need more help.
     
  15. ARCEUS

    ARCEUS Fapstronaut

    Also, if this happens, means I am unconscious and M, do I have to reset my streak counter?
     
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  16. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    I dont think i have seen any unconciously M case yet so i cant say. Rather please try to implement what i told you. What we need right now is to fix your active brain.
     
  17. Kratos_GOW

    Kratos_GOW Fapstronaut

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    AFTER completing my original goal of 120 days, i was looking back at how things started and where i am now.
    Part of me says you should start over, reset the clock because the naïve you though, NOFAP will fix everything and it will fix all of your problems.
    I wasn't doing the self improvement part like should have and now, other then amounts of energy i have at my disposal, i feel like i didnt truly achieve the benefits of NoFap. So here is what i was thinking - (no way it gives me an excuse to relapse)
    Start over with doing the important things you intended first. I made a list.


    1. A good morning routine.
    2. A good night routine.
    3. A progressive bodyweight work out routine. I wanna build abs now.
    4. I have got to get my diet in check, I have a subscription coupon that can help to get myself back on track.
    5. As @tivruh suggested to work on focus blocks for improved productivity. I am telling you a LONG TERM CAREER GOAL HERE You guys.
      TERM - NEXT 5 years.
      GOAL - GET HIRED IN GOOGLE AS DATA ANALYST/DATA SCIENTIST. I am doing courses of google and datacamp. I am gonna acquire all the knowledge i can get. I am doing these courses daily and i can see progress.
    6. Other then the pro skills, i feel like i should also get into new hobbies i always wanted to , I have a guitar i never used, I can learn that, i have books i never finished, I would like to read them, i also have a good audiobook platform. I am gonna listen to those. Also look for more and DO ONLY 2 of them at one time.
    7. As a gamer, i think i can use one of those things where, i can make these daily tasks as DAILY EXPs as one of the those games. I think productive is a good app for that, i just need a good reward in the end to keep it going.
    8. Also i have been skipping meditation so i think i can add that here too.
    I feel after getting the career goal of Data analyst, I am making progress. THAT WAS WHAT I WAS MISSING THIS ALL TIME. NOT PROGRESSING. ABOVE might seem overwhelming but i believe i can do it and by doing this i can finally get rid of the void I had in myself for eternity.
    I was merely going through the motions, not LIVING AS I SHOULD HAVE. It is time to MOVE FORWARD.

    IF you didn't take anything from this, just take away this one thing.
    NOFAP is not going to magically solve all of your problems, fix your life, get your a gf from heaven or your dream job. Its gonna give you an opportunity to focus on these things and WORK FOR IT. Get your mind together and get your shit together, because the WORLD IS TOO BIG TO BE HOLED UP A PLACE AGAINST A SCREEN MY FRIEND. Ciao
     

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