DAY 128! How i became an addict, how PIED afflicted me, how i'm defeating it. The entire story

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Santa Claus, Apr 28, 2017.

  1. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Hi to everyone, as you can deduce by the title this is a long story so i decided to upload a file.
    I really hope that this story could inspire you a little bit :)
     

    Attached Files:

    Nikolai, Sharn07, BuddyLee and 7 others like this.
  2. PotentLife

    PotentLife Fapstronaut

    Congratulations, Santa Claus. Especially since you're a new member, I'm a little hesitant to download a file, but I wish you the very best. Could you copy and paste some as inline text to give us a little taste of it?
     
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  3. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Hi PotentLife, thank you very much for your answer. :) It's a 5 pages Word file, i preferred uploading the file 'cause i thought that maybe it was easier to read than here but if you want i can copy and paste the entire text. If i have to write a little "abstract", this post talks about my entire sexual life since i was 12 (now i'm 24), the birth of my porn addiction (mostly about muscular girls), my 4 years relations in which i discovered my PIED problem and finally about my last months, the period of my reboot that let me see already very good results.
    I think that it could be an interesting story to read (i've been very precise about wet dreams, morning woods, erections with girls) but i strive to know what u guys think about it... in fact it's the first time that i share my secret life with someone, and i think that NoFap is the best place to do it.
    I really hope that you can trust me but if u prefer i'll copy and paste the entire post.
    By the way, my name is Federico ;)
     
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  4. GivingItUp

    GivingItUp New Fapstronaut

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    Hi Federico, truly this is a touching story. Keep up brother and have the best in your journey. I have planned to recommend NoFap to some friends. I know people are always shy to talk about their hidden habits but it's a disease that can be cure about helping each other as we do here.
     
    Santa Claus likes this.
  5. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Hi @GivingItUp , thank u very much for taking the time to read my story. :)
     
  6. GuitarDude

    GuitarDude Fapstronaut

    I'll read the story once I get home:emoji_thumbsup:
     
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  7. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    Good story, very grateful for your share. By the way, I have a fit/muscular girl fetish too. I agree nothing wrong with liking that, but I my goal is to maybe meet that woman in the real world, but the fetish needs to be dialed back lol.
     
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  8. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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  9. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you very much @BruceD , i obviously agree with you. The main thing that made me understand that my passion for muscular girls was kind of fetish was the fact that i wouldn't like going out with one of them, but in fact i liked them only in front of my computer. I'd love instead being in a relationship with a fit girl and i'm certainly not ashamed of it.
    But this is a quite superficial point of view, i have to say that during my reboot i really started to fantasize less about sex and to be more connected to girls (and people in general), sex is something beautiful but it has to be a consequence of attraction and not something to be obsessed by, at least this is my point of view. :) It's strange, in fact thanks to the reboot i'm much more arousable but i think about sex in a healthier way and not objectifying women (i never did it so much but more than know that's for sure); before the reboot although i had less libido i fantasized much more.
     
    Last edited: Apr 30, 2017
  10. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    Great points. I always liked sporty/fit girls and the muscularness was just a fetish that developed rather strongly. Of course those women are not super common, but someone who is healthy and takes care of herself is desirable. I have ruined my past relationship sexually because of this fetish and that is why it is not a good idea to still look. I never got into a lot of hardcore porn, but softcore fetish stuff. Anyway, look forward to continuing on the conversation my man! Thank you again!
     
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  11. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    I understand you perfectly... but i can assure you that time is the better medicine and it works. Today i'm 130 day free and in these months my interest towards that kind of fetish is almost disappeared. I cannot already say that i've beat it but the road is becoming brighter and brighter. :)
     
    Buddhabro likes this.
  12. PotentLife

    PotentLife Fapstronaut

    Federico, thanks so much. I'm glad I read your story and am very inspired by it. Actually, muscular women had been my number one fetish, and I have felt depressed by my own pervasive laziness, too. It kind of makes sense that fantasizing about being dominated and being lazy go together. In my case, I'd want to be weaker than the woman, but only in fantasy. I'd hate being dominated by women in real life, mostly, and would be terrified of the humiliation of it. I felt it held me back in real life when I would go to lift weights and exercise because my addict self wanted to be weak and dependent, while my public self wanted to be strong, energetic and attractive. So my body in the gym always felt strange, shameful, confused.

    I hope I haven't been too graphic, but I'm really excited that somebody with a problem akin to my own is seeing progress like you are.

    One of the reasons I've been trying to overcome this addiction is that I believe in the power of creative visualization, of imagining success. It just makes sense to me. The important thing is that I don't imagine contradictory things to neutralize or even reverse the effect. It seems that my PMO fantasies (submission, weakness, helplessness to an arrogant and powerful woman) have been reversing the effect of my hopes and ambitions. They seem to have made me a man divided against myself, barely able to achieve anything in my life.

    But I've been seeing some success with Nofap, and am happy for yours! I wish you great things, Federico! Please keep us posted about your further developments.
     
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  13. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your reply @PotentLife I'm glad to see that i'm not the only one on this forum with this kind of passion. Like i said before, thanks to my personal experience (and you've see how fucked up i was), things are going better and better. It's clear that everyone has his own preferences for what concerns female bodies, i think that i'll never be aroused by a super thin woman as i am by an athletic one, and i don't see any problem in this, it's perfectly normal. The problem has been the fact that my natural sexual preference created PIED because of massive PMO so that i was no more able to have sex with my girlfriend without fantasizing about muscular women and this thing shocked me. But it's never too late to change ;)
     
  14. GuitarDude

    GuitarDude Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing your story Federico. I found it quite intresting and amusing. Cant say I approve of all your wild sexual encounters but thats just me. Wish you the best and congrats on such a long streak ! ;)
     
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  15. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Thank @GuitarDude , good luck to you ;) Ahahah, my "wild sexual encounter" it's a funny definition but it doesn't fit the reality at 100%. In fact i'm really into Sara now, and i want her to leave his boyfriend, otherwise she could no more have me 'cause i don't like this situation (thursday we'll meet and we'll talk about it). For me by the way it's fundamental an intellectual attraction (and sentimental of course) towards a girl, a phisical attraction isn't enough to have sex and the demonstration is that i refused to have an intercourse with a random friend of a university colleague in Mars... she was pretty but really insignificant to me. I know that i've been very synthetic on the sentimental side of my story but i can assure you that i'm not a "bad guy" ;).
    P.s. i'd like to say that with nofap you're
    gonna suffer no more 'cause of sentimental feelings but obviously it's not true, actually the emotions are stronger i think. :D
     
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  16. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    I would venture to say preferring muscular women is on the milder side compared to what some folks have looked at and gotten aroused by, in our defense! Ha ha. But yes, these continue to be great specific, thoughtful, and helpful posts. I also don't like skinny as rail/model bodies either. I dig curves and some muscle tone. But yes, a kinky yet playful fetish developed into a gargantuan monster with the help of high speed internet in the past 10-15 years. It's time to cut the cord and fly off resetting my "natural" sex drive. Keep this great stuff going!
     
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  17. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    It's absolutely time to "cut the cord" and resetting your natural sex drive and it's absolutely possible. I see by your counter that you're on your fifth day... keep it strong, these are the most difficult days, when you arrive about to 15 days you'll start to have stronger defenses. ;)
     
  18. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    Well I fell down last night. I had a busy week and not getting enough sleep, not to mention eating out some. So I caved last night. I haven't binged so far thankfully. Was one PMO session and I was done. One too much though. Feeling rather depressed and bummed out about this. But I need to be accountable and just move on. Your posts really do help! Very appreciative and grateful.
     
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  19. Santa Claus

    Santa Claus Fapstronaut

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    Sadly it's more than normal relapsing, you don't know how many times i did it :D It would be too easy if in the moment when you decide to stop PMO you did it without relapsing anymore...it's a long way. But every single day of your old streak is not deleted, it's part of your past and it makes you stronger to start a better streak, you only have to be patient and determined. ;)
    Today i'm reaching the 20 weeks mark and you can't imagine how easy it's now abstaining from PMO... in fact i don't think no more about masturbating at all. Sometimes i find myself fantasizing, it's normal after only 20 weeks of rebooting with an experience of 12 years of dipendence, but it didn't transform into the urge of ejaculating. Trust me
     
    Last edited: May 10, 2017
  20. BruceD

    BruceD Fapstronaut
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    Santa Claus, you are a good guy, much grateful for your support. Thankfully, I do have some streaks built up, and my Dopamine rush was not as strong but still there. However, the cord has to be cut completely. Working on being present and mindful. Day 7 or 8 are the difficult ones, probably because they say testosterone spikes? Moving on, and already feel better.
     
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