Day 135 and no longer fantasizing as much

I’ve successfully gotten over the flatline phase. Mine lasted 1.5 months… it was awful and disheartening to a point where I almost said f*ck it, let me wank it once. I didn’t want to jeopardize my progress though… Everytime I controlled my urges it boosted my self-esteem. Gotta think long term sometimes.

I’m at a point where the thought of sex and hot girls is truly fleeting. I did have this on instance last week where I kept thinking about this one girl I knew. I felt compelled to text her and just let my feelings out sexually. She never responded but I instantly felt better after texting her. I didn’t need a response. I just needed an outlet and she was the one on my mind. I’ve actually texted a few girls I dated awhile ago just recently to see how they doing. Sometimes you just need to reach out and don’t expect anything.

I’m not on the dating apps; I’d rather meet girls out and about. Rejection sucks until it doesn’t; until you don’t give a sh*t anymore. You really do realize that fear is an illusion. If you don’t feel awkward then conversations won’t be awkward; it will just flow, mistakes and all. It’s better to be flawed but authentic than try to be perfect… there’s a feeling a restriction and unworthiness sometimes.

I did meet this girl at my complex though and after a few run-ins, we finally exchanged numbers. She’s literally pornstar hot. The makeup, lip-fillers, etc. She for sure entices me sexually but she’s actually really sweet and I’d like to get to know her more. I’m starting to get the hang of this whole starting off slow in relationships thing. I used to be in such a rush and it was because when I did porn I would fast forward sometimes to the good parts. There was no build up. This all transcended to my personal life. I’ve always wanted things in a hurry and almost never enjoying the process.

But yeah there you have it. 135 days in. My advice right now is that if you feel like you’re flatlining and it’s taking forever to get over it just remember to stay the course. If you don’t flatline you’re lucky, if you do and want to jerk it I suggest you don’t. Totally not worth it. You need to do everything but jerk it, it’s a trick; a ruse. It gets better I promise just got to stay strong.

 

Both besides erections. I still had that. It was more so the self-esteem and confidence that went down. It sucked and made me rethink this Nofap thing but glad I saw it through.

 

Glad I can help!

 

Hey man I’m no different than you. You can do it as well. We all can. Just remember your mind will do everything possible to convince you to give up. It happened again with me last night and was getting on the verge of slipping but got up and logged into this account and saw your post. Really happy I resisted another time. I wish you the best on your journey.