Day 19 of Reboot reflection journal

Background circumstances - self-isolation providing the space and time over the summer for going through reboot, vegan diet which has helped minimise superfluous urges in the first two weeks, an end goal vision and road map of self-mastery and success which the reboot process is a crucial first step in, ABSOLUTE COMMITMENT which allows for no hessitation or self-manipulation to relapsing instead proving a solid grounding in the mind of positive self-talk and will especially during urges, every day activities which align with true inner self. Instagram account deleted (to prevent PMO fishing through looking at the models on there). No alcohol, no drugs.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it!”

The reflection -
Up until day 16 I thought the difficulty level so far had been a 7 out of 10. The last three days have been harder, 8.5 /10; the urges really hit their stride, after experiencing no urges in the body at all until day 15; in the first two weeks I only had a few sexual thoughts arise on different days but they only seemed to be in my head as opposed to experiencing full blown withdrawal symptoms or even light sexual energy built up in my body. This really surprised me as all the times I had tried to reboot before I would experience symptoms as soon as 5,6 or 7 days into the reboot. My theory would be that this is because of diet; sugar and processed foods increased urges early on and so I call these early urges superfluous because perhaps they can be avoided through dietary changes and adopting a diet of no sugar or processed foods; 2 whole weeks went by and I had no withdrawal symptoms, the biggest catalyst seems to be diet.

Yesterday I experienced withdrawal at the strongest it's been so far; the fantasies and physical sensations appeared a few times and I let them be instead of repressing, laying in bed with them until they passed, exploring what they say about me. The fantasies were of pure dominance and power over women, like a sexual monster of the uncontrolled sexual human instinct; this is the consequence of not discipling and learning to control and transcending the primal sexual animal; one becomes addicted to the pleasure at the expense of morality, empathy and connection, pure egoic sexual pleasure, which compromises your true self and allows your dark side to thrive.

In order to be your true conscious self this reboot journey is inevitable for all of us, and unless battling with an even more serious (drug) addiction, then this is a fundamental step in self-mastery.

Hope this helps