Day 2 After 40± Years

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Boomer49, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, I’ve been at this for a long, long time. Been lucky that it hasn’t affected my sex life until recently with ED. Although PMO felt physically good, it never felt mentally good and I worked hard at hiding that from myself. We humans can justify just about anything, can’t we?

    I work from home and my daily routine after my wife leaves for her job is to settle in front of the computer for a nice pre-work session (the first of two). Instead, today, I am posting this and hanging around the NoFap site to prevent my surfing. I'm a bit nervous about getting through this as the habit has been long established. I understand the brain rewiring part and that it takes time, but I'm missing my pictures and my "habit."

    I haven't told my wife yet about the discovery of PMO and PIED, my addiction or my joining this community and plan to over the weekend. Whoa, that's going to be uncomfortable. Do I ask her to not have sex with me for a while so I can abstain totally to get my recovery going? Or is it OK to try to have sex with her in spite of my PMO problem, my ED and the possible lack of performance embarrassment? I know she will be supportive. I’m certain of that. That’s just who she is.

    Oh, and should I delete my private stash of pictures that has taken me years to collect? (You know it’s bad when you have them backed up on two computers and a remote data storage unit.)

    Thanks
     
  2. Meashy

    Meashy New Fapstronaut

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    Even though I have only been a member here for a week, spending time to reading what so many have said about their particular addiction to PMO, I have already learned so much about how PMO was/is my problem of ED and caused me so much guilt and pain. After viewing several documentary's/videos on "Your Brain On Porn", I was awakened to why I had ED for the past ten years and could not understand why. I talked with my primary doctor and urologist and the best they could do was a prescription (purple pill)...it did not help; however, I did no tell them of my addiction to PMO. To be honest, I think there are very few doctors who know the affects off PMO on a person...if they did, I believe we would see more changes in how ED is treated...starting with the brain.

    Since being educated on this subject and finding "NoFap" website, I decided to join and start a new beginning of NO PORN and/or MASTERBATION. To be honest, I have been able to go for weeks and a couple of months without masterbating but my number one enemy...PORN, was always my appetite that I craved to bond with; with that, I had already trained my brain that the two...porn and masterbation needed each other to give me the sexual high I wanted/needed - just like a drug fix.

    Since I am not an expert, I cannot give you the advise on whether you should abstain from any sex with your wife while you are rebooting your brain. I do know, for a healthy marriage, you both need that bonding that sexual intimacy brings. IF you can be intimate without visualizing the images that has been branded in your brain, I think (only my opinion) that you should continue being sexual with your wife; however, unless you can actually do it, you may want to hold off until your brain has had time to reboot.

    You asked whether or not you should delete your stash of videos you have saved over the years...are you serious? Without sounding harsh, you should not have to ask that question...PORN is your problem. You can't save it in hopes you can go back to it. This is why you are here! You, like the rest of us, got trapped by this pied piper - porn. Even at my age, I now know what has been my enemy and can defeat it with determination, will, encouragement from others that are here. Get rid of it!!! Love your wife...not porn or the unreal images that have been embedded in your brain.

    Just FYI, I lost my marriage because of this; sounds like you have a good wife/marriage...don't lose it. I hope you accomplish what you have set out to do. Think about this, "If it can be done, I can do it; if I can do it, I will". If I can be of help, I'm here.
     
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  3. Framones

    Framones Fapstronaut

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    Getting support from your wife is the most wise thing to do. Wiser is not to watch pornography ever again: it makes a huge flow of dopamine in your brain which override a biological mechanism genetically developed by evolution, the reward system. In other world you have trained your brain to get reward from images on your PC instead of from natural sex.
     
    Boomer49 and wally_s like this.
  4. wally_s

    wally_s Fapstronaut

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    Hello @Boomer49 and welcome to the forums! I share in Meashy's opinion as I think a lot of us here would. It really depends on how imprinted P is in your mind's eye and only you can make that call.

    Also, @Meashy wow, kudos, and only been here a week, eh? Very good stuff. Hey I suggest both of you come over to the 40+ and start journal threads. You'll find a good group and we always have room for a few more!
     
  5. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

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    Gang, thanks for all of that. Wow, I've deleted all my links and all three locations of my pictures. AND, I've emptied the waste basket, so they are all really gone, off my computers, out of my storage. I've even turn on safe search on Google so nothing inappropriate can slip through.

    @Meashy Looks like you and I are new to this. Your advice is well made and I have taken it to heart as you can see above.

    @wally_s I think I'll mosey over to the 40+ group and see what's there. Thanks for the direction.

    @Framones I will look for other ways to get my dopamine fix. PMO will not be my means of choice. Thanks.

    If it weren't for this group and having learned about the connection of PMO this would have gone on indefinitely. Many thanks to you all.
     
  6. Meashy

    Meashy New Fapstronaut

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    Well done!!!! I'm so glad you made that decision to get rid of it ALL. Keep reading more stories/accounts on here and posting what you are going through as you transition from a trap to freedom.
     
  7. Boomer49

    Boomer49 Fapstronaut

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    Also had that talk with my wife and it went really well. I am blessed to have such and understanding woman. She said it would have been weirder if I had just not shown any interest in sex... totally unlike me.
     

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