Day 2 After 40± Years

Even though I have only been a member here for a week, spending time to reading what so many have said about their particular addiction to PMO, I have already learned so much about how PMO was/is my problem of ED and caused me so much guilt and pain. After viewing several documentary's/videos on "Your Brain On Porn", I was awakened to why I had ED for the past ten years and could not understand why. I talked with my primary doctor and urologist and the best they could do was a prescription (purple pill)...it did not help; however, I did no tell them of my addiction to PMO. To be honest, I think there are very few doctors who know the affects off PMO on a person...if they did, I believe we would see more changes in how ED is treated...starting with the brain.

Since being educated on this subject and finding "NoFap" website, I decided to join and start a new beginning of NO PORN and/or MASTERBATION. To be honest, I have been able to go for weeks and a couple of months without masterbating but my number one enemy...PORN, was always my appetite that I craved to bond with; with that, I had already trained my brain that the two...porn and masterbation needed each other to give me the sexual high I wanted/needed - just like a drug fix.

Since I am not an expert, I cannot give you the advise on whether you should abstain from any sex with your wife while you are rebooting your brain. I do know, for a healthy marriage, you both need that bonding that sexual intimacy brings. IF you can be intimate without visualizing the images that has been branded in your brain, I think (only my opinion) that you should continue being sexual with your wife; however, unless you can actually do it, you may want to hold off until your brain has had time to reboot.

You asked whether or not you should delete your stash of videos you have saved over the years...are you serious? Without sounding harsh, you should not have to ask that question...PORN is your problem. You can't save it in hopes you can go back to it. This is why you are here! You, like the rest of us, got trapped by this pied piper - porn. Even at my age, I now know what has been my enemy and can defeat it with determination, will, encouragement from others that are here. Get rid of it!!! Love your wife...not porn or the unreal images that have been embedded in your brain.

Just FYI, I lost my marriage because of this; sounds like you have a good wife/marriage...don't lose it. I hope you accomplish what you have set out to do. Think about this, "If it can be done, I can do it; if I can do it, I will". If I can be of help, I'm here.

 

Getting support from your wife is the most wise thing to do. Wiser is not to watch pornography ever again: it makes a huge flow of dopamine in your brain which override a biological mechanism genetically developed by evolution, the reward system. In other world you have trained your brain to get reward from images on your PC instead of from natural sex.

 

Hello @Boomer49 and welcome to the forums! I share in Meashy's opinion as I think a lot of us here would. It really depends on how imprinted P is in your mind's eye and only you can make that call.

Also, @Meashy wow, kudos, and only been here a week, eh? Very good stuff. Hey I suggest both of you come over to the 40+ and start journal threads. You'll find a good group and we always have room for a few more!

 

Well done!!!! I'm so glad you made that decision to get rid of it ALL. Keep reading more stories/accounts on here and posting what you are going through as you transition from a trap to freedom.