[Day 20+] We all are going to make it lads

Things are changing for the better. Feeling strong and confident. Since I don't have any friends or relatives with which I am close, decided to share my emotions from today here.

The most important thing I realized is that nofap alone is nothing but a boost of energy if its not coupled with combating the your inner problems which led to that pit of despair. It's been twenty something days of totally hard mode and it is my third month in my battle with life long insecurities. I feel great. My need for external validation, for anything beyond myself is waning slowly. Combating insecurities is a very rewarding thing on its own, but coupled with NoFap and no porn it can send your depressions back into the hell they came from.

Today I danced as I waited in the queue. Just listened to my favourite tune and danced right in front of other people. It would have been impossible a month ago. People looked as if I was a lunatic, laughed. I just didn't give a fuck.
More than that, today I made compliments to attractive women. One was a milf with short hair, awesome legs dressed in tight red jeans. Really hot. I just came up to her and said 'You have beautiful legs'. She smiled and said something. Couldn't see the full effect of that compliment because of the damned quarantine masks, but I saw some warmth in her eyes. Back when I tried to experiment with combating my social anxiety and also tried to do this sort of thing, girls usually ignored me because I was needy and creepy. No warm eyes for me, just silent 'Thanks' or silence.
As for another woman, I am really proud of it, though it may have been awkward. It was a cute young girl with great butt. I just came to her and said 'You've got very erotic butt'. It made her shy. Or embarrassed. Come to think of it, it sounds fucking laughable and retarded. How else can girl's butt be? Sometime ago saying that stupid little phrase would send me into a guilt and shame filled trip for a month or more. Not anymore though. It is nothing.

 

To each his own friend. You can say whatever you want once you are truly free. If you want to follow my footsteps in battling this illness, start with the wonderful book called 'The Four Agreements'. It was and is a tremendous help in the healing process. Good luck.