DAY 201! (No P & M) How i changed my life, got married and what i learnt from last 200 days

Foxhole

Foxhole

Fapstronaut
Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 6 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.
 
Last edited:
Foxhole said:
Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 5 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
Super post. Many thanks.
I know everybody is different, but do you have any vague timings on how long the different stages last? Based on your experience and what you may have seen on here. People often say 3 months or more..
 
Foxhole said:
Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 5 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
Great post! Thanks for sharing :)
 
SirErnest said:
Super post. Many thanks.
I know everybody is different, but do you have any vague timings on how long the different stages last? Based on your experience and what you may have seen on here. People often say 3 months or more..
Click to expand...
Hi, thanks for your answer. I really don't feel there are any stages for me. There is only life with porn and life after porn for me.
For first few weeks the urges were stronger and i was really careful not to fall back again. Ant then it started to fade away and become paler and more distant every day. There were few waves of stronger urges, but i guess they were caused by another problems in my life - anytime i feel better, my addiction try to get me back.
But no i don't know about stages. And i have no time goals - i just decided not to watch porn again, not to fap again and it just feels great and liberating...
 
Foxhole said:
Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 5 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.
Click to expand...

Congratulations.

Can you delve deeper on the positive changes in your life? What about woman attraction?
 
Mattew said:
Congratulations.

Can you delve deeper on the positive changes in your life? What about woman attraction?
Click to expand...

Thanks. I am going to be boring about women attraction as I am newly married, but I try.

- I am much more ambitious than ever. My job stagnated for last few years. But since i quit porn I started to work on myself again. I onboard new clients, i choose the ones i want to work with. I get new offers from clients or colleagues every week.
- I enjoy simple things. I can go out and just be happy that is sunny. Or raining. I watch cats on street, discover new buildings i never mentioned again. I am more open and passionate about just everything.
- I have my discipline back. I started work out, i work earlier and i get more things done than ever.
- I enjoy sex again. When I watched porn i always felt unsatisfied with real sex. I was in with my GF and i was thinking about fapping alone. Eww.
- And its better than ever. Back in my addicted days i was always looking for something new in sex. Femdom, roleplay, toys... I was bored and every sex was just hunt for orgasm. Now even simple vanilla sex is more passionate and intimate, i really feel connected to my wife (after 9 years of living together!) And orgasms are so much better now.
- I can talk to women again. Okay about other women. I used to be socially insecure and i really was hard time to talk to anybody. Now it is easier for me, to address unknown woman without feeling awkward. We can have a solid conversation we both enjoy. I dont feel that women started to hunt me or flirt with me, but i guess i could score with one if i really try...

And thats it. I am just the same guy, but I am happier, more successful and productive. I can talk to other people and you know... Just enjoy life again.
 
Foxhole said:
Hi, thanks for your answer. I really don't feel there are any stages for me. There is only life with porn and life after porn for me.
For first few weeks the urges were stronger and i was really careful not to fall back again. Ant then it started to fade away and become paler and more distant every day. There were few waves of stronger urges, but i guess they were caused by another problems in my life - anytime i feel better, my addiction try to get me back.
But no i don't know about stages. And i have no time goals - i just decided not to watch porn again, not to fap again and it just feels great and liberating...
Click to expand...
I think this is an excellent mindset to have. People are worrying about 'streaks' but really the aim of all of this is to simply stop. It takes as long as it takes, but they say the difficulties pass. Thanks.
 
SirErnest said:
I think this is an excellent mindset to have. People are worrying about 'streaks' but really the aim of all of this is to simply stop. It takes as long as it takes, but they say the difficulties pass. Thanks.
Click to expand...
Thanks. I try to be as positive as posible about this, but i think it's similar as for ex-alcoholics. They are just a drop away from falling back again, yet they can still have happy and meaningful life.
So I just accept I won't PMO again. I know there will be still urges. But I also know, they will be weaker and weaker. And i know i can fight this and even if I relapse (althought I dont think about it as an option) I can overcome it again.
And the most important part - I once believed i can't change and that i am broken and pathetic. But now I know for sure that I can break it and be free. And its the best thing in the world.
 
Would it be possible for you to tell us

  • how old you were when you started PMO
  • how often per week
  • what kind of content you consumed (was it downloaded stuff, or was it tube sites, ...)
  • what side effects did you have during reboot and how long (flatline, ...)
  • how quickly did you notice the effects of NoFap when you started
I ask about the kind of content because Gary Wilson (the "Your Brain on Porn" guy) sais that Tube sites are much worse. I am only interested in the technical answer, not the content itself.
 
Mattew said:
Worse than what?
Isn't every porn addict watching tube sites?
Click to expand...
I don't think so. For example, there used to be DVDs when the Internet was still slow, or File Download pages after that. PMO was an issue back then, but for less people.

Gary Wilson comprehensibly arguments that the Tube sites made things much worse, since there is this element of getting something instantly and much more different stuff available. Before Tube sites, you had to wait hours for a movie to be downloaded, and then you didn't have like previews to 30 other clips after each clip. Now it's easy to just click anywhere on the page and get from one clip to the next on an endless journey of time-wasting.

Back in the days there were gallery websites but they had single sets with let's say a few dozen pictures of the same setting, now you've got image boards with a huge variety of content.

I want to find out how the thread creator started, since apparently he started with PMO around the same time as I did (15 years ago), and what I read and what I have experienced myself appears to be less intense cravings than some of the younger guys who started with Tube sites at an early age.

To clarify your question "worse than what": worse than non-Tube or non-linked content consumption.

Both are absolutely damaging, but the Tube sites appear to be the "crack" among porn, compared to regular drugs.

Also, if you read the forums here, there are not few people hooked up on the "not safe for work" section of pages like Reddit, which is basically something in between a tube site (endless content, much novelty) and a gallery page.
 
DoGoodStayClean said:
Would it be possible for you to tell us
Click to expand...

  • how old you were when you started PMO
    Im not sure about it. I remember i became obsesed with women underwear very soon. Like 9 y.o. or so. Then i read porn magazines. And i started to watch streamed porn maybe 10 years ago (when i was 19)
  • how often per week
    It difers from time to time but I am pretty sure there was times (most of them) when i did it several times everyday.
  • what kind of content you consumed (was it downloaded stuff, or was it tube sites, ...)
    Mostly tube sites.
  • what side effects did you have during reboot and how long (flatline, ...)
    Not really.
  • how quickly did you notice the effects of NoFap when you started
    It was so lifechanging that i noticed them almost imediatelly. But most of them maybe after first month.
Was it any helpful to you?
 
Foxhole said:
Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 6 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.
Click to expand...
Very inspiring post, thanks for sharing and never give up!
 
DoGoodStayClean said:
I don't think so. For example, there used to be DVDs when the Internet was still slow, or File Download pages after that. PMO was an issue back then, but for less people.

Gary Wilson comprehensibly arguments that the Tube sites made things much worse, since there is this element of getting something instantly and much more different stuff available. Before Tube sites, you had to wait hours for a movie to be downloaded, and then you didn't have like previews to 30 other clips after each clip. Now it's easy to just click anywhere on the page and get from one clip to the next on an endless journey of time-wasting.

Back in the days there were gallery websites but they had single sets with let's say a few dozen pictures of the same setting, now you've got image boards with a huge variety of content.

I want to find out how the thread creator started, since apparently he started with PMO around the same time as I did (15 years ago), and what I read and what I have experienced myself appears to be less intense cravings than some of the younger guys who started with Tube sites at an early age.

To clarify your question "worse than what": worse than non-Tube or non-linked content consumption.

Both are absolutely damaging, but the Tube sites appear to be the "crack" among porn, compared to regular drugs.

Also, if you read the forums here, there are not few people hooked up on the "not safe for work" section of pages like Reddit, which is basically something in between a tube site (endless content, much novelty) and a gallery page.
Click to expand...

I asked you because i have been on pmo for more than 20 years.

20 years ago i was already downloading the first 30 seconds clips from the web, and i remember having high speed internet and watching different tube sites in 2004/2005 if not before.
 
Hey man,
Nice post and something sure to learn from you. First of all congrats for beating a bad addiction and turning your life around:).I myself have seen the depths of this demon, its roots are endless and ever growing. so, I know its been truly difficult for you, but you fought well for the sake of yourself and for living a better and healthy life. I am on the same path as you so I know how things begin to change slowly and how life becomes much more meaningful, there is a smile on the face and deep down we are happy as our self conscience becomes cleaner. We start observing and understanding life' different shades and yeah it feels like the sun's always gonna shine bright. The nights which used to be full of lusts and regrets become calmer and beautiful. Its like we are becoming alive again from darkness towards light. Some might find it exaggerated but these are some things that are happening to me:). May God give you the strength to walk the path. Take care mate.
 
CG with such a lot of successful days buddy and also to your marriage. Wish you the best and stay on your journey. Thanks for sharing!
 
whitefang## said:
Hey man,
Nice post and something sure to learn from you. First of all congrats for beating a bad addiction and turning your life around:).I myself have seen the depths of this demon, its roots are endless and ever growing. so, I know its been truly difficult for you, but you fought well for the sake of yourself and for living a better and healthy life. I am on the same path as you so I know how things begin to change slowly and how life becomes much more meaningful, there is a smile on the face and deep down we are happy as our self conscience becomes cleaner. We start observing and understanding life' different shades and yeah it feels like the sun's always gonna shine bright. The nights which used to be full of lusts and regrets become calmer and beautiful. Its like we are becoming alive again from darkness towards light. Some might find it exaggerated but these are some things that are happening to me:). May God give you the strength to walk the path. Take care mate.
Click to expand...
Thank you a lot @whitefang## Congratulations to you too! Great work! You described it incredibly well. It's exactly as you wrote. There are ups and downs, but it's the real life! Thanks for sharing your view. Good luck on your journey, pal.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top