DAY 201! (No P & M) How i changed my life, got married and what i learnt from last 200 days

Hi guys. I started NoFap 201 ago and now I feel better than ever in last 15 years.
I got married, started to rebuilding my business and met some new exciting people.

I read a lot of tips how to deal with PMO. I tried a lot of them, some of them I recommended to other people, some of them I mady by myself.

And here is 6 gamechanging tips that helped me get new, better life.

1) Believe you can quit PMO, believe you can change
This was the biggest issue I used to struggle for many years. I heard about NoFap, I knew porn may be a problem, but I thought, that I can't change, that I'm just that way. And when i finally join NoFap and find people who struggle with same issue and suceed it opend my eyes. The hope I can live normal life again, that i dont have to hide anymore was so liberating, and gave me energy to finaly quit.
So yes. You can change too. You can be free today. You just have to do it.

2) Make a commitment to yourself
I used to be so afraid of commitments. I was so scared to do something wrong. I always kept escape paths, which lead my to relapse over and over again. I can't quit for good i used to tell myself. I was so paralyzed i can't move anywhere in my life. But one day i decided not to fap again. And i won't. I decided to marry girl i loved and i did. I decided to do a job i like and i did. And my life started to move again. I was alive again.

3) Plan ahead, keep your schedule
I dont know how about you, but everytime i had nothing to do, or have too many things to do I fapped. Or procrastinate. Or both.
So make a schedule and follow it. You don't have to work/learn all the time. Schedule things you like, schedule some relax. But keep it. When you have nothing to do, your unconscious mind will find a program to you and it may not be the best program to follow. Try to stay focused.

4) Relationships - IMPORTANT!
This is an important one. Everytime when I feeled unloved, lonely, unaccepted or anxious I used to fap. Porn is always here for us. It's accepting, not judging, always willing ... and it stole our souls and minds.
Care about relationships you have with other people. Partner, friends, family, coworkers...
Find time to talk to people. Call your old mother. Spend evening with your loved ones. Be present. Porn substitutes human relationships and leave us lonely, anxious and socially insecure. Rediscover the power of real relationships. Find now ones and most importantly - care about the ones you already have.

5) Be strict to yourself
Whenever you struggle about something related to porn addiction, be as strict as you can.
- Is it okay to watch this erotic movie?
- Is it okay to look to this nude art?
- Is it okay if i only M without hands...
Well if you want to free yourself from this addiction, try to stay as clean as you can. It's not a relapse to see some artistic nude photos, but does it help you to get rid of PMO? Almost definitely not. It's always better to be safe than sorry. So if you're not sure... just dont do it.

6) Live to your best
Quitting PMO is just a first step. It's like leaving a prison. And you don't want just to stay on driveway infront that prison. You have to go out and do things. You're free person now. Do the things you always wanted to do. Meet new people. Try to be the best version of yourself. Because when you stay infront that prison and keep whining how much you miss your prisoncell - soon or later you'll be back there.

So that's it. I am still on step away from fall back and relapse. I still struggle with urges. I have my ups and dows, but anyway i feel just great and my life is wonderful without porn.

And what works best for you? Share your tips guys. And thanks for reading.

 

Hi, thanks for your answer. I really don't feel there are any stages for me. There is only life with porn and life after porn for me.
For first few weeks the urges were stronger and i was really careful not to fall back again. Ant then it started to fade away and become paler and more distant every day. There were few waves of stronger urges, but i guess they were caused by another problems in my life - anytime i feel better, my addiction try to get me back.
But no i don't know about stages. And i have no time goals - i just decided not to watch porn again, not to fap again and it just feels great and liberating...

 

Thanks for reading

 

Thanks. I am going to be boring about women attraction as I am newly married, but I try.

- I am much more ambitious than ever. My job stagnated for last few years. But since i quit porn I started to work on myself again. I onboard new clients, i choose the ones i want to work with. I get new offers from clients or colleagues every week.
- I enjoy simple things. I can go out and just be happy that is sunny. Or raining. I watch cats on street, discover new buildings i never mentioned again. I am more open and passionate about just everything.
- I have my discipline back. I started work out, i work earlier and i get more things done than ever.
- I enjoy sex again. When I watched porn i always felt unsatisfied with real sex. I was in with my GF and i was thinking about fapping alone. Eww.
- And its better than ever. Back in my addicted days i was always looking for something new in sex. Femdom, roleplay, toys... I was bored and every sex was just hunt for orgasm. Now even simple vanilla sex is more passionate and intimate, i really feel connected to my wife (after 9 years of living together!) And orgasms are so much better now.
- I can talk to women again. Okay about other women. I used to be socially insecure and i really was hard time to talk to anybody. Now it is easier for me, to address unknown woman without feeling awkward. We can have a solid conversation we both enjoy. I dont feel that women started to hunt me or flirt with me, but i guess i could score with one if i really try...

And thats it. I am just the same guy, but I am happier, more successful and productive. I can talk to other people and you know... Just enjoy life again.

 

Thanks. I try to be as positive as posible about this, but i think it's similar as for ex-alcoholics. They are just a drop away from falling back again, yet they can still have happy and meaningful life.
So I just accept I won't PMO again. I know there will be still urges. But I also know, they will be weaker and weaker. And i know i can fight this and even if I relapse (althought I dont think about it as an option) I can overcome it again.
And the most important part - I once believed i can't change and that i am broken and pathetic. But now I know for sure that I can break it and be free. And its the best thing in the world.

 

• how old you were when you started PMO
  Im not sure about it. I remember i became obsesed with women underwear very soon. Like 9 y.o. or so. Then i read porn magazines. And i started to watch streamed porn maybe 10 years ago (when i was 19)
• how often per week
  It difers from time to time but I am pretty sure there was times (most of them) when i did it several times everyday.
• what kind of content you consumed (was it downloaded stuff, or was it tube sites, ...)
  Mostly tube sites.
• what side effects did you have during reboot and how long (flatline, ...)
  Not really.
• how quickly did you notice the effects of NoFap when you started
  It was so lifechanging that i noticed them almost imediatelly. But most of them maybe after first month.

Was it any helpful to you?

 

Thank you a lot @whitefang## Congratulations to you too! Great work! You described it incredibly well. It's exactly as you wrote. There are ups and downs, but it's the real life! Thanks for sharing your view. Good luck on your journey, pal.