Day 21, Don't open that tab, Don't click away!!!

Hey there fellow Fapstronauts! Here to embark on this thing called life and rid myself of childhood habits such as porn. You see if there' s anything I know more than anything else in the world it's porn. From about age 8 I've dabble here and there with sexual images, but it didn' get completey out of hand (No pun intended ) until middle school. See ridicule plus medication for seizures played a big role along with my addiction. Imagine a young kid booted out of his mind filled high on medication porn masturbation and bullies. Weird Combination right? As to you can't see a girl being to prominent in that picture huh? Anyway, from ages 13 to about 17 I wacked away to porn about 4 to the highest number of 10 times in single day. No Joke, Imagine it? Pretty Fucked Up I'm ancy at how ridiculousness it must sound to some of you but its no lie. Evently i got off the medication and quit having seizures right before highschool started. What a relief! Finally a heavy ass weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Girls came in my life and went just as fast because I never gave them the time of day. Hell one even ask me out prom once I declined. Iv'e never had a girlfriend well if count the countless online ones I never actually met in real life, I wouldn't! I mean I look back at it now I was really dumb. I had soooooo many opportuniies to date, fuck, and interact with women but the lust towards porn and masturbating always outweighed the work anxiety of the real thing. Why go through the torture when everything's a click away on a porn site? Finally at age 18 I found myself working at this restarant with loads of hot young people and one began flirting with me. Sure enough after a couple days of finding out one another we began making out at work, almost every time we see each other. It was awesome! First kiss and first time I felt someone other than my family had love towards me, unexplainable. soooooo one day she comes to this booth servers sit in while cleaning dishes DIM lights NO cameras and it was her off day. Admit I got pretty nervous she was in a skin tight dress and sits down on my lap I close the curtain and she smiles. We began making out again But I sense she wants something more and I pull away. Note: at this time I was heavy on drugs and didn' have quite a clear head as nowadays but Damn if I had a time machine man!!! lol I text her she doesn' reply I try again a couple days later nothing. I see Her again about week after it happens I go to get a soda from the machine shes running and she backs her ass into its like I'm not going to pull away. so for 2 minutes were literally grinding on each other and I walk away with this stiff boner. Lol .....Get fired never hear from her again. Continued masturbation and porn but not as frequently, Id go about 10 to 20 times a month. Then at age 20 I found NoFap and your brain on porn. It fansinated me, all these guys struggling with pmo just like me. I tried it out went about a week my first go at it. second time 49 days and the longest I've ever Gone was 8 months. The 8 months got cut short cause i lost my virginity and never seen the girl again . so what did i do started back on porn everyday but only jacked off once a day. So now I'm back again to go a full year and I never to watch it again ever! I want to feel real skin emotion and empthany like I did when I was kid. Pure bliss and happiness from a porn free world. It seems like ever since I quit the drugs I've had no luck with friends girls or sex. Sucks being 21 alone and broke. on the plus side I started school about a week ago to drive trucks. Hopefully this brings me to point in life I wanna be in you know? Day 21 today and I feel okay had slight urges but been working on music and playing videogames to past the time. Gotta stay busy that's the key!

 

Welcome back.